Carrie with the Light Brown Hair, Part 1

Carrie with the Light Brown Hair, Part 1

I was in my fourth year as a graduate student in Chemistry and was a Senior Teaching Assistant. I had my own office and I was supposed to mentor the new graduate teaching assistants. Back in those days, men still outnumbered women by two to one, so every entering female was scrutinized, I hated that. Sure I was a man and I looked but I didn't stare, I didn't glare, and I didn't chase. Still, I couldn't help but hear gossip.

This year, all the guys seemed to be talking about Carrie. Even today, fifteen years later, if her name comes up at a conference where former MIT Chemistry grad students are talking together, the women roll their eyes, the men start to comment about how she looked, and then the men realize that they should shut their mouths. I understand why, I understood why even 15 years ago. Carrie was 5'11" of perfectly packaged womanhood. She was tall, lithe, with wavy brown hair which rolled over her shoulders. She looked like she could have been a Russian tennis star, perfectly proportioned with athletic arms, legs, and an hour glass figure. Well, maybe not perfect. If perfect means 36-24-36, Carrie was more like 36-22-34. Her breasts were prominent, perky, and titillating (pun intended). She wore glasses, black plastic rimmed glasses. Do you remember the phrase, "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses?" Maybe that was the intent, but I think it was easy to imagine her without them.

One Friday afternoon there was a knock on my office door, and I said, "Come in." I looked up and was surprised to see Carrie, since she wasn't assigned to the course I was teaching. I had spoken with her before and knew that she was a brilliant student but I had no idea why she would want to see me.

Carrie sat down and said, "I have a problem and I think that you are the person who can help me."

"I'll try. What is the problem?"

"I think that I would rather start with why I am coming to you for help." I nodded in agreement, and she continued, "I've been here for 4 months and almost all of the male students want to talk to me but when they talk to me, all they do is stare at my chest. Some of them get so tongue-tied that it is pathetic. If I go to a seminar in another department and it's the same thing. And all of the women seem to just hate me."

"I'm not sure how I can help."

"That is not the problem, that's Just background information for why I chose you. You don't stare at my chest and you talk to me like I am just any other grad student. I've heard gossip about grad students and there isn't any gossip about you. No tales of conquests and no lists of women you are pursuing. I've heard that you used to have a girlfriend and you would take her to parties but you never talked about the size of her breasts or even if you were sleeping with her. And she never talked about your prowess either, I really like that."

"You like what?"

"I like your sense of privacy. But since we are on the subject, how many times did you have coitus with her?"

"Carrie, I didn't know that we were on that subject. But I'm not going to tell you. People know that Sue and I dated for two years until she graduated. We didn't try to hide that. If you want to ask me if I have had, as you say, coitus, I might be willing to tell you but I won't tell you with whom. Whatever happened between Sue and me, she is entitled to absolute privacy. I might tell you about me but I won't tell you about her or anyone else I have dated beyond what is clearly public knowledge. Do you understand why?"

"I hoped that you would say that. I need someone who might be willing to kiss me but will never tell anyone. I think that person is you but I need to collect some data from you first."

"You want me to kiss you, just like that?"

"Not right now, maybe later. First, I need data so that I can find out if you can help me with my problem."

"What problem?"

"I want to go out on dates with men but they always seem to think that a date ends with coitus. I've never had coitus before and while I understand the mechanics, I don't want anyone to know that it would be my first time. So, I want you to be my first time and I want you to never tell anyone that we've had coitus."

I was trying to digest what Carrie was saying and it was odd to say the least. "Let's see if I have this straight: you are a virgin, you've decided that you no longer want to be, and you've picked me out as your prospective teacher. Is that right?"

"Well, close. Virginity is often defined as the presence of an unbroken hymen and I think that my use of tampons has probably either broken or dilated my hymen so that in many countries I would not be considered a virgin. But in the common sense of not having yet had coitus, you are correct, I'm a virgin and I need your help. I have a list of questions to see if you are qualified, may I ask them?"

"Carrie, this has to be the strangest conversation since Masters and Johnson interviewed subjects but as long as you agree not to talk about what I tell you, I'll play along for a while at least. I might not be willing to answer everything, but if I answer something, it will be the truth. OK, start."

"Have you had at least two girlfriends whom you have kissed?" Yes.

"Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases?" No.

"Have you engaged in oscillatory tongue osculation?" I think you are asking if I have engaged in French kissing, yes.

"Have you engaged in manual manipulation of a woman's mammary glands, areola, and or nipples?" Yes.

"Have you engaged in lingual stimulation of a woman's mammary glands, areola, and or nipples?" Have I used my tongue to lick a woman's breasts? Yes.

"Have performed cunnilingus?" Yes.

"Has a woman performed felatio on you?" Yes.

Have you achieved ejaculation during the act of coitus?" Yes.

"Even though there are no correct or incorrect answers, you have passed. You are a candidate to teach me how to engage in coitus. This will be a one-time occurrence. When can we schedule a time?"

"Carrie, you are an attractive woman. You could ask any number of guys and they would agree immediately. Why don't you just do that and get it over with? Why go through this odd interview with me?"

"Because they would talk afterwards and tell everyone that they had claimed my maidenhood, you won't."

"You are right about that. If I did, "claim your maidenhood," no one would ever know but you and me."

"Perfect. I've taken the liberty of preparing a list of activities which should be part of the training, which activities are optional, and which activities are forbidden. Here is the list."

I quickly glanced at the list, shook my head and said, "Carrie, this is crazy. And you need to understand that I would never, ever have intercourse on the first date. Since we are only going to have one date, you are going to leave with your ‘maidenhood' unclaimed by me. So maybe you should interview someone else."

"Are there activities which you would likely do on a first date?"

"Yes."

"And after a first date, there could be a second date, and on a second date, your own rules would permit coitus?"

"Permit, but not require."

"What are you going to be doing in two minutes?"

"I suspect that I will be talking with you."

"Good. Then in two minutes we will have our first date. I am going to get up and leave now." Carrie got up, opened the door, and closed it. I was puzzled and started looking at her list of activities.

After two minutes, there was a knock on my door. I hid the list just in case I was wrong about it being Carrie and said, "Come in." I was not surprised when Carrie walked in and closed the door behind her. She asked me to stand up. I was a little hesitant at first because all the talk about sexual activities combined with her stunning body had caused some level of arousal, but I stood anyway.

Carrie looked at my shorts and said, "I see that there is increased tumescence in your groin area. Please proceed with our first date."

I walked over and hugged her. I kissed her and after a few kisses, she responded. I began to rub her back as I probed her lips. It turned out that she was a natural at French kissing. I removed her glasses, and nibbled on her ear lobes then nuzzled her neck as my hands began to massage her breasts. I could feel her nipples begin to get erect and I held them in my fingers while I rubbed them. I am sure that a slight moan came out of Carrie. She was rubbing my back while I undid her bra, I started caressing her bare breasts and pinching her nipples. She had her tongue way down my throat by that point.

Suddenly she stopped. Without saying a word, she reached down to feel my penis and announced that I had clearly found her desirable. I asked if she had found me desirable and she said that she was sure that her body had responded by lubricating her vaginal canal. "Would you like to check?"

I pushed her down into a chair, and after adjusting my pants a little in the nether regions, I sat in my own chair. "Our first date is over Carrie. As strange as this process has been, I'd like to have a second date. You have made this so clinical. Checklists and guidelines and I wouldn't be surprised if you had written an experimental protocol." She looked like she was about to pull one out and show it to me, so I continued, "So what is the null hypothesis behind this experiment?"

"The null hypothesis is that I will respond to activities associated with procreative activities in a manner indistinguishable from other healthy American women of my age."

"And you want me to find data to disprove that hypothesis? You want me to demonstrate that you are different?"

"No. I am hoping that you won't find any evidence that I am different once you have given me training."

"Carrie, if we accept the null hypothesis, then we might have a Type 2 Error. Then we would have to think about the appropriate sample size and beta risk. One lesson might not be enough."

"Good point, but for now let's concentrate on our second date, to use your preferred terminology. When can we schedule our second date?"

"Carrie, this may rank as the oddest experience of my life, and promises to get even odder. But if I turn you down, I am going to wonder for the rest of my life why I turned down the opportunity to fuck the most beautiful woman I am ever going to meet. Sorry, ‘engage in coitus with the most beautiful woman I am ever going to meet.' So, lesson two will be at my apartment at 6 PM tomorrow evening. I will make you dinner and then we can see what develops."

"But look at item 3 under forbidden activities, ‘no social activities between the subjects will be permitted.' Dinner together could be construed as a social activity."

"Consider it the cost of entry. No dinner with me, no training. All the time and effort today would have been wasted. I'll go through your list. Be there at 6 PM tomorrow."