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...If I Got Hung Over.....


written by:
Reltney McFee

Maybe if I got hung over like most folks, I wouldn't drink quite so much. Maybe if she hadn't run away taking everything I loved, I wouldn't drink so much. Maybe if I hadn't drank so much, I wouldn't wake up and wonder who this naked woman was in my bed

Well I said I wasn't hungover. That didn't mean I was perfectly clear. But after a couple of blinks my vision became less blurry. With a couple of shakes, my head started to be less fuzzy. I looked in my companion. She was young, she was cute, she was dark haired. I still had no idea who she was.

I tried to slink out of the bed without awakening her and I think I kind of succeeded. In the bathroom I splashed water on my face and toweled my head off, and tried to brush the cobwebs off my teeth. I tried to recognize the face in the mirror, tried to recognize the guy who was bringing nameless women home and, somehow, taking them, naked, to bed. The guy looking back at me, trying to see into my soul, was nobody I recognized.

Yeah, the features were familiar. The mustache was right where I had left it, the preceding morning. But, I had never brought a strange woman home, ever before. Not in my bachelor days, not at all since I had met Annie. Hell, since I had met Annie, I hadn't even looked twice at another woman.

Well, it certainly appeared that I had given THIS woman, considerably more than just a second look. I suppose that I had to face the folly of my misjudgment, and see who she was, and just exactly what I had done.

I straightened up, tied my sweats back up, and exited the bathroom, nearly knocking my companion over, as she was nakedly potty-dancing immediately outside the bathroom door. She murmured "Excuse me!", as she ducked beneath my arm and into the bathroom, the slamming of the door nearly immediately followed by the slam of the dropping toilet seat.

I figured no unraveling of this particular mystery would occur for several more minutes, so I turned to starting some coffee. I was staring slack jawed at the brewer, mesmerized by the wheezing and dripping that accompanied the Magic Of The Brew, when I heard the bathroom door open, and she asked me for a toothbrush. I opened the linen closet, supplied the requested item, and returned to prepare my coffee.

She shuffled in a few minutes later, wearing one of my tee shirts (and, gotta tell you, my Petoskey tee shirt had never looked so good!). On her petite frame, it fit her like a (short) dress. I poured her a coffee, and offered creamer and sugar. She peered at me over the rim of her cup, as she settled back against the counter.

After several seconds of silence, I decided that I was gonna have to start things off. "Hello, I'm not sure we've been properly introduced. I'm Mark. Welcome to my home."

She grinned from behind her cup, and her green eyes twinkled. "Oh, so my gallant rescuer DOES have a name! Here, I had thought that I had been swept up either by the strong silent type, or by some desperado who did not want to let any witness know who he was."

My thus far nameless guest paused, sipping at her coffee. "And, no, I don't believe we have been introduced. I'm Ashley. Pleased to meet you, although", and she meaningfully glanced about to indicate my home and her under dressed state, "it appears that we are already, er, 'acquainted', so to speak!"

I provided my baseline, "wha d'fug?" blank look, and followed up with an explanatory narrative. "Rescuer? What are you talking about?"

She put the cup down, and sidled over to me, wrapping her arms over my shoulders, drawing me until her forehead rested against my own. This placed her breasts against my lower chest, and Mr. Happy started to stir, interested in the proceedings. I focused on her eyes, meeting mine unblinkingly.

"Well, in the bar last night, there was the part where I stumbled and you caught me. You don't really look as if you can move that fast, but I stumbled, you grabbed my arm, and I did not fall on my face. Then there was the part where my old boyfriend came into the bar, and began to badger me. You asked me if I was OK: I believe your words were, 'Are you alright, honey?'. He took offense, and turned from me to confront you, and you backed up. He thought that you were backing off, until you said, as I recall, 'Perhaps we ought to take this outside?'."

"I don't know how you knew, but Tim is a bully, and I left him once he started to manhandle me. He followed you out the door, into the alley. You couldn't have seen him wind up to hit you from behind, but you sidestepped as soon as you were out of the doorway, and his punch threw him off balance."

She continued. "You turned to go back into the bar, but he staggered to his feet, and rushed you. Once again, I didn't see how you knew, but you sidestepped him again, only this time he ran headfirst into the door jamb."

"Well, when he knocked himself out cold, and you took my elbow and asked if there was somewhere I ought to be, other than at that bar, at that point I was yours! You called a cab, and we wound up here. You offered to sleep on the sofa, but I was not having it. Your house, you rescued me, and you were not going to sleep on your own sofa!"

She had noticed my arousal at around this point in her refresher course in How I Had Spent My Saturday Night, and giggled. "You were gentleman enough, that I slept peacefully all night long, or as much of it remained. I see now, that it wasn't because you don't shop in that aisle! Looks like you are interested in the naked woman in your kitchen!"

I chuckled, myself. "Oh, yeah, I'm interested! I was just sober enough to be surprised when you dropped your dress and climbed into bed with me. I could tell you had been drinking, and I wasn't about to take advantage of you when you were impaired, so I rolled over and went to sleep. Went to sleep aroused, woke up aroused, and now you have awakened the beast, again!"

She giggled. "So I can see! Well, since you saved me from Tim last night, maybe I ought to reward my knight, just like they used to do in the middle ages!"

She drew back, lifted the shirt over her head, and folded in, placing it on the floor, and knelt on it at my feet. I was surprised, and while I was processing things, trying to make sense of it ("Wow! She's cute! Fit, and slim! Is she really kneeling at my feet? Naked? Does this mean what I think it may mean?"), she answered all my questions as she drew my sweats over my hips, and to the floor. My cock bounced in front of her, until she grasped it, steadying things so she could sink my hardness into her mouth, descending until her nose just touched my pubic bone. She drew off me, sucking all the way, and let out her breath with a "woof!", that fluffed her bangs.

I was goggle eyed. First, because this sort of suck-at-first-sight had never happened to me, ever. Secondly, because the deep throat she had just laid on me was pleasure like nothing I had ever had before. Third, because, she had started licking up and down my shaft while I trembled at her touch, as she smiled all the while.

She paused, and asked me, "Do you like that?" As if I might answer anything other than YES! YES! YES!, right?

I stuttered, "Hell, yeah!", and she sank me back into her throat, swallowing once I had no more dick to give her. She held me there, blinking up at me placidly, until she slowly withdrew, her tongue dancing upon my throbbing tool.

Once my tool was cooling in the air, she leaned back a little, and started to rub my cockhead on her breasts. First one, then the other. Once I started to get a little dry, she stood up, and, standing on her tip toes, kissed me briefly. I wrapped my arms around her, and she gave a little hop, wrapping her legs around my waist. My hands found, and cradled, her firm ass, and she wriggled like a puppy, before leaning in to me, and asking, "So, where do you want to finish?"

Again, it took me a while to process. While I tried to translate her perfectly enunciated, plain English question into something my screaming brain could respond to, her wet shaven pubis slowly inched up and down my pulsating length. Once I could focus again, I found her laughing eyes holding mine. "So, you have been with a woman before, right?"

I nodded.

"And, you DO understand what I'm offering you, right?"

Again with the nodding.

"I know you can speak: I heard you speak just a little while ago. And, if you had just now had a stroke, I don't think you could still hold me up like you are doing. Are you simply struck dumb by my iridescent beauty?"

Finally, a script I could work with! "Beauty! Yeah, wow, beauty!"

She smiled. Quite a charitable response to a blithering idiot, achingly erect, naked, holding her beneath her perfect naked butt, and her saliva slowly drying on his prod. "Well, if you are not going to be participating in this conversation for the next little while, perhaps you would be so kind as to carry my horny, naked little self to your bedroom, and I can continue thanking my savior in the traditional manner?"

Always excelling at 'listening to and following directions', I turned and navigated our way to the bedroom. Once I was standing at the edge of the bed, she removed one of her hands from my shoulders, and tapped my cheek, a light slap. "You really have to pay attention here! Do you want to fill my greedy little pussy with all your cum, or do you wanna fuck my face? You have to tell me, because that decides how you're going to put me down on your bed. Do you want to put me on my back, knees spread, to welcome your tasty, steely dick deep in my wet little pussy? Do you want me on hands and knees, so you can hold my hips in your strong hands, and plow my little coozie? Or do you want to lay me down on my back, and drape my head over the edge of your bed, so you can fuck my face properly? I kinda want to taste you as you come down my throat, but you get to choose how you're going to ravish me, the first time anyway!"

Blood finally fought it's way to my brain, in sufficient quantity for me to form coherent words. "I really like what your mouth was doing to my schlong! Are you sure, wouldn't laying with your head over the edge of the bed leave you kinda helpless?"

She smiled. "That's the point! Sometimes, I want my man to get all cave man on me, and just take me as he wants. Tim missed the 'sometimes' part, and, well, he was a lousy fuck anyhow. The fact that you stopped to wonder if I would l be OK with you face fucking me like that, along with you letting me sleep undisturbed, well, now I know you are the right guy to fuck my face!"

I settled her on the bed, and she pulled me in for a long kiss before scooching around, and laying down. Her dark shoulder length hair formed a fan nearly brushing the floor. She settled her hands beneath her ass, and craned her head, mouth opened wide, her tongue curled around her lower teeth. Upside down, she looked at me from beneath the shadow of my reltney. I eased my way forward, dipping my cockhead so it aligned with the tempting target she was offering.

As I hesitated, considering the wondrous gift I was being offered, she perhaps took my delay for indecision, for second thoughts. She had no such difficulty. "Ooh, yeah! You're so hard for me, you're oozing your arousal! Bring that hard fuckstick over here, and fuck my throat! Lemme suck you and drink you down! Gimme all your tasty sperms!"

With that sort of direction, I would have to be dead should I not respond. Inching my way forward, my drooling schwanz leading the way, I approached her. Her wide eyed enthusiasm for our encounter, pantingly awaiting me, provided added firmness to my tool. I brushed my glans upon her tongue, and settled slowly into her depths. Holding my breath, I brushed her tonsils with my drooling head, until, feeling short of breath, I withdrew.

She swallowed, blinked, and opened wide, for me to take her throat again. I took her gift. Her moan of acceptance was muffled by my intruding reltney, as I slowly sank full length into her maw. Her writhing tongue explored my tool, as if seeking to find and catalog all imperfections.

I was determined to allow her to examine every bit. As I advanced and withdrew, she took me fully inside her, sucking as if to prevent my departure, laving the head as I paused at her lips. I withdrew, and she panted, wild eyed, and her eyes begged me to pour myself down her throat. I set to ravishing her mouth, her lips. She moaned her pleasure, feeding off my own mounting arousal. She reached for me with her head, raising from the bed, and I met her with my throbbing baton of love, racing to butter her tonsils with my lust lotion. We thrust together, and she drew me to my climax, closer and closer, until my control failed, and I poured myself howlingly into her, pulse after pulse of man paste disappearing into her belly. She sucked, and swallowed, gargling my essence, as I wrung myself out.

I soon ran dry, wiping my last dribbles upon her tongue. She held me there, shrinking, until I fell from her mouth. I sidestepped, twisting slowly and sinking onto the bed beside her. Energized, she twisted herself around, winding up beside me, and, smacking her lips, sidled up next to me, her firm breasts pressing into my side.

"You taste yummy! You filled me up! I didn't think, for a while there, that I could swallow fast enough to keep you from running down my cheeks!"

We kissed, and she undulated her body against mine. Once we parted, she drew her head back, and asked, "I know why I was at that bar, my friends finally guilted me into going out with them after my breakup with Tim. I was kind of 'off men' once I had thought I had disentangled myself from him and his self centered, smothering bullshit. What about you? How come you're unattached?"

I (again) provided her with a well practiced version of my "wha d'fug?" look. She showed a bit of embarrassment, and shrugged. "While you were rattling around in the kitchen, I took a quick look around. Don't give me that look! Women are curious about stuff like that! How come you don't have any pictures of your sweetheart? Or kid pictures?"

I drew in a reflective breath. "Well, I had a sweetheart. I have kids, although I have no idea of where. Once the divorce became final, the now ex wife split, and took my kids with her. She had cleaned the place out when she moved out, didn't leave me a single photo of my children. My lawyer did what he could, but even her own attorney has been unable to find her. And, let me tell you, he has incentive to find her! She owes him around ten thousand dollars."

I exhaled, and drew in another breath. It had been almost a year, and I was still enraged. "The court order requiring her to provide me copies of the pictures of the kids? The court ordered shared custody? The stipulation that she could not move further than 90 miles from the courthouse? Well, with that she is Oh-for-three in complying with the orders of the court. If she ever does get caught, well, the judge is pretty pissed off, and I do not think that she, the judge, will fuck around for a single minute. I think that Annie is looking at jail time for contempt, and a complete rewrite of the divorce decree by the judge, entirely in my favor. So, no, I do not have a sweetheart. I do not have children, not that you could see, anyhow. And, THAT is why I was in that bar, last night. I've been drinking myself to sleep for the last 10 months. I ran out of liquor here at home, and went to the bar to get my blood alcohol up to therapeutic levels."

I turned away, trying to blink back the tears. I probably was gonna have to rethink the plan to drink my children off my mind. My liver was beginning to complain, and it wasn't working anyhow.

She silently rested her head against my chest, fingers idly roaming over my chest. I felt wetness on my chest, and drew her back, seeing tracks of moisture running down her own cheeks. "How could a woman do that to her children? Depriving them of their father? How could she just walk way from a man who would intervene, to protect some girl he had never met, protect her from being manhandled by her ex? I saw what you are about, last night. I do not understand how she could do that to you, to her kids!"

I paused, trying to temper the harsh assessment I had of the mother of my children. "Well, when your life becomes about what you want, and how you want it, then anything that gets in the way of that, is excess baggage to be jettisoned, so you can move along to wherever it is you want to be. I was that excess baggage. She would not let me, or my relationship with my children, get in the way."

We lay there for a while, silently weeping, me for my lost family, her for my pain. She stirred after a while, and reached up, kissing away my tears.

I reached for her, meeting her lips with my own, and we smooched, tenderly. She increased the passion of her kiss, as if to try to take my pain, to drink my rage from me.

I am but a man, for how could I not respond to her? When you have spent nearly a year alone, spent those months eating yourself up with loss, unless you have finally died inside, unless you have finally preserved in alcohol your ability to feel at all, you respond.

She had cried for my pain, she had felt for my loss. She was pretty, and she plumbed my mouth with her tongue, as if seeking out any memory of Annie, as if to devour it herself. Slowly, I was distracted from my self pity, and began to focus on the curve-some lass in my arms.

She drew back a bit, and regarded me from beneath hooded eyes. Whispering, she asked me, "Do you think you can get hard for me again? I really want some of that to fill my gooey little pussy! I got so hot, with you stroking your hard fuckstick in and out of my throat, that I can hardly stand it!"

She shifted a bit, and my hardening sex cudgel rubbed beneath her belly. Ashley grinned, a prideful grin of satisfaction, and asked, "Is all that for me? Did I do that? I only thought bad girls got boys' thingies all hard and throbbing! Does that make me a bad girl? What does a hero do when he finds himself in bed with a naked, squirmy, gooey, bad girl? Will he do bad things to her? Will he make her squeal, and moan?"

I rolled over, effectively immobilizing her slight frame beneath my taller and heavier one. Reaching beneath her shoulders, I grasped her wrists, drawing them to her own shoulders.

"I don't know. I haven't bedded very many bad girls."

I adjusted my positioning, so that the glans of my sex rubbed up against her steaming center every time I rolled my hips. I began to roll them a lot.

"But," I continued, "I have known several women who liked to play bad girl games. They all enjoyed those games, very much. I wonder if you would enjoy those games?"

Wide eyed, her breath caught every time my prod reached the top of her furrow. I cocked an eyebrow at her, and she started. "I...I...I think that I would enjoy those games, very much!"

I stopped, my cockhead just at her entrance. "Oh, would you, now?"

She nodded, her gaze never leaving my own.

I rocked my hips a bit, just entering her sheath, my johnston beginning to marinate in her abundant oils. "Perhaps you should ask me for what you seem to want. I like it when pretty girls let me know what I can do for them."

She blinked, then, and whispered something indistinct.

"Pretty girls have to speak up. You have to tell me what you want, clearly."

She gulped, and reacquired my gaze. "I want you to fuck me. I want you to pound my wet little pussy, driving your thick hard cock deep into me, spreading me open to take all that you can give me, and then pour yourself out, creaming my insides, once you have made me cum my little ass off!"

I smiled. "Pleased to oblige, Ma'am!"

I slowly advanced my length, until our pubis's met. Her eyes closed, as if to savor our coitus, and I held my depth. When she opened them again, I slowly withdrew, and, glans still inside her, I again advanced. She rocked her hips as if to encourage me to speed up, but I was not having it. I deliberately explored her hot tight quim, until she began to whimper, and writhe.

I accelerated our joining. She relaxed a bit, a small smile upon her lips. She began to pull at my hands, as if to free her hands, but I held fast. She twisted, rocking her pelvis to meet my own thrusts, and rolled her head to and fro.

We writhed together there, long minutes, her oils collecting upon my sex. I began to feel the tingling that heralded my own release, and, seeking to hurry hers along, raised myself, and began to suckle at her firm breasts.

"Bite me!" she whispered. "Bite me! Bite me hard, oohhh, own me, mark me, oh, cum for me, fill me!"

I drew back, wondering if that might hurt her, wondering if this sort of pain would pleasure her. She answered me.

"Yeah, yeah! Bite my breasts! Bruise my breasts! Just a little, bite me!"

I tentatively settled my teeth about one nipple, pressing in on the tender firm bud.

"Oh, yeah! Harder! Bite me harder! I'm helpless beneath you, now I want you to hurt me! Bite me harder!"

I pressed harder, and ground her teat between my teeth. Her back arched, she stopped breathing, and my cock felt as it were in a wet velvet vise. She panted several times, and moaned.

Once she started to relax, I again began to fuck her, chasing my own release. She soon collected herself, cheering me on.

"Oh, that was so good, so good! Oohh, fuck me, fuck me, fill me, I want it all! Give me all your goo! Cum in me, so deep in me, fill me!"

I closed my eyes, buried my head in the hollow of her shoulder, and began to power my way over the finish line. She panted, and cooed, and moaned beneath me, her pussy massaging my tool.

Finally, the dam burst. I clenched, my balls pumping burst after burst of fertility chowder all over her eager cervix. She moaned, "Oh, yes! I can feel it! You feel so warm inside me! Give it all to me!"

After pouring myself into her sex, I released her wrists, collapsing upon her. She clasped me to her, hand stroking my head, murmuring, "When you bit my breast, you pushed me over the top. It hurt so sweetly, and I could tell that you didn't really want to hurt me. That just made it hotter, being hurt, just right, by a man who didn't want to hurt me, simply wanted to please me. That made me feel like a treasured jewel. My kitty purring at the pounding you gave her, and the pain in my nipple, just made me explode! Thank you! That was some gooodddd nookie!"

I somehow gathered myself enough to roll off of her, drawing her to my side. Before I faded to sleep, I whispered, "I sort of enjoyed myself, too!"

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The author of this story: Reltney McFee

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