Leanne
written by:
Seawarrior61

Leanne

By Seawarrior 61 Copyright 2012

I was sitting in my office when I saw her standing in my doorway.

There had been a long trip through time and life to be able to say that one short sentence. In fact, I had come to believe that I would never see my wife again.

I guess I need to explain. I'll start at the beginning and try to keep it short.

My name is Francis (Monte) Moody. Where and how I got my nickname is another story, but I can truthfully say that alcohol was definitely involved.

I met my wife, Leanne, early in college. Naturally, we attended several classes together and my heart was hers from almost the first time I laid eyes on her. Most men would have said that she was a typical young college woman. She was not pretty but she most definitely was good looking, with beautiful full black hair worn long and a very nice face. Her figure was trim and athletic although her breasts were on the small side. She was not the smartest girl in the class nor was she the dumbest. However, I didn't care what anyone else thought about her because for me, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and she was smart, sexy and fun to be around.

We didn't make any connection at first. I'll admit that I went out of my way to be at places and parties when I knew she would be there. She never seemed to notice me though. Finally, I screwed up my courage and asked her for a date. Up to that point, she had always been friendly but distant. I really didn't expect a yes and when she accepted, I was surprised and thrilled.

I took her to dinner and then we went dancing at one of the nice clubs that a lot of college kids frequented. We had a blast. She was a terrific dancer and she made me look like a much more talented dancer that I was. Afterwards I took her home and she gave me a very tender kiss and whispered, "Call me" in my ear.

That was all she wrote folks. From that wonderful evening on, we were a couple. We became exclusive and eventually became intimate. I was not her first and she was not my first. We didn't care. What was in the past didn't seem important to either of us.

Finally, we both graduated and then married. We have a marvelous daughter named Samantha. She is the light in both our eyes. We had what I thought was a solid marriage with both of us contributing to the union. We both enjoyed an active sex life with the expected tapering off over the years as we became older and more comfortable in our lives together.

The years seemed to fly by and it seemed in too short a time that Samantha was off to college leaving us alone. We had now been together for twenty-one years and married for eighteen. We both missed our daughter immensely.

I missed Sam but Leanne actually seemed to pine for her. I realized that she became depressed by her absence. It was a classic case of the empty nest syndrome.

After a few months where Leanne was moping around the house and was becoming withdrawn and argumentative, I made my fatal mistake. I suggested that maybe she could find a job to help fill her time and to give her some social life with people other than myself.

I pointed out to her that, without our realization, most of our friends seemed to have either moved away or had become involved with other friends. She had only one friend that she was able to socialize with, but even that friendship seemed doomed as they slowly drifted apart over a period of several months.

Leanne jumped on the idea of getting into the workforce. She was suddenly animated and bubbly. I would come home from work and find her with want ads strewn about the kitchen table. She was making lists and working on her resume at the same time.

Leanne had never worked after leaving college and getting married and although she had a degree in marketing, I cautioned her that she was probably looking at an entry level position where ever she went.

That didn't seem to faze her and it was two weeks later when I came home to a sumptuous meal with candles and wine. Leanne was literally bouncing around the room and giggling like a school girl. "Guess what!" she trilled. "I got a job, I got a job, I got a job!"

With that excited statement, Leanne embarked on her new life. However, it was not in marketing but in the fast-paced real estate industry. She had been hired to be the office agent for a large real estate office here in our city.

Life definitely improved rapidly and dramatically. Leanne was once again the lively and exciting woman I had married all those years ago. She made friends at work and soon we were socializing with them regularly.

Two of her closest friends were two ladies named respectively Carol and June. They both had been married and now were divorced. Sometimes they could be a little too much. They occasionally drank a little more than was called for and when they drank, they seemed to stretch the boundaries of common sense and good taste.

Actually, they were huge flirts and didn't seem to care if the person they were flirting with was married or not or whether the guy's wife was present or not. There were a few times that they carried their actions so far that the wife of their intended target got really pissed off.

Their flirting caused a really bad scene once that made everyone very uncomfortable and caused a husband to spend a significant period in the old doghouse. That incident caused a slowdown in the number of parties that had been occurring regularly.

Initially I thought that Carol and June were okay gals, even if they pushed the limits occasionally. But, as time passed, their actions began to grate on my nerves and I began to complain to Leanne about her association with them.

More than once I would caution her saying, "People see you as the same as those women that you call friends. Just remember, because if you hang out with sluts then people will paint you with the same brush."

At first, Leanne agreed with me but I quickly noticed that it didn't change the amount of time that the three of them hung out together. Then came the time when I again told Leanne that her reputation was beginning to suffer due to her friendship with the "dreadful duo." Her reaction shocked and surprised me. "God damn it, Monte you need to get the fuck off of that crap. They are my friends and I don't give a rat's ass what you or anyone else has to say about it."

She glared at me and turning, she stomped off; going to our bedroom where she slammed and locked the door. That had never happened before in our entire marriage. I was stunned and for several moments just stood there with my mouth hanging open.

Gradually my shock began to turn to anger. What the fuck was that all about? I knew I had been playing that old song for a few weeks but I could not believe that it called for her scorched earth response.

I spent the rest of the weekend alternating between anger, irritation, confusion and bewilderment. Leanne became the new ice age and refused to speak with me. Getting her to even grunt in response to me became the norm in our relationship.

Monday morning, Leanne was dressed and out of the house before I could even finish my shower. This was another first for us. Never had one of us ever left home without a hug, kiss or a murmured term of endearment.

Eventually she thawed out some even though she seemed to be more reserved and withdrawn. She continued to hang out with her buddies. She was now stopping with them for drinks a couple of times a week. When she would come home, I could see that she was just primed and waiting for me to make some comment.

I thought that I would just chill and try to wait her out. I figured that sooner or later she would work this attitude out of her system. Well hind sight is 20/20 for sure. About three months later I realized that I had fucked up royally.

That evening, Leanne was once again late coming home after work. It was almost ten p.m. when she came through the door. I got my no-longer-unexpected cold glance and without a word she walked past me to the bedroom.

After a moment, I followed her and sat on the bed while she changed clothes. This was the latest she had ever stayed out and I was curious. I had started to become suspicious about her girls' night out evenings. Frankly I wanted to see what she was wearing under her dress. Thankfully, she wasn't wearing anything out of the norm.

I know what you may think, but I instinctively knew that the woman that I had been living with for the past three or four months was not the woman that I had married and had lived with for all these years.

I was beginning to smell a rat and I was not happy at all. "Leanne, when are you going to stop being mad at me? I'm beginning to wonder what this is all about. Is this how you want to live our lives together?"

Leanne paused, turned half way towards me and cocked her head. "Don't you put your sanctimonious crap on me asshole. I don't have to take any of your shit so just back off or just pound sand. I'm not the problem here in this joke of a marriage."

She just stood there with an uncaring face. She didn't even appear to be angry. This just tore it for me. It took me a solid minute but I finally got control of my emotions enough to say those four words that have spelled the end so often between a husband and wife.

"We need to talk. "After you finish here, I'll be waiting in the kitchen. I can't take this any more, so if you care at all what happens to us, you will meet me there."

I was sitting at the table when she walked in and took a chair across from me. We sat for several moments and finally she sighed. "You wanted to talk, so talk. I'm not going to sit here all night. I'm tired and I have to work tomorrow."

I took a deep breath and I started. "Please let me just get this out. I don't want to argue anymore and I would appreciate you not interrupting me until I've finished."

"I just don't seem to know you anymore. You're only with me every now and then. You don't kiss me like you did before. Is there a broken heart waiting for me somewhere out there? The few times I've held you lately, you seem distant. It makes me wonder, do you pretend that I'm someone else you're longing for?

"There's a far-away look in your eye. My heart cries that I'm losing you. All I want is for you to hold me close and put my heart at ease. Whisper I love you once again. Just three words can make my heart believe. I just need to know if this is the beginning of the end for us."

With those words, I had poured out my heart. I just stopped talking as I had nothing left to say and nothing left to give. As I was talking, I could see her beginning to listen to me but as the look on her face changed, I could see that I wasn't getting the result I had hoped and prayed for.

Sadness. There was no anger. There was no look of love or compassion. She pushed back her chair, stood there momentarily and then she took her purse, grabbed her car keys and walked out the door. She had never uttered a single syllable.

I sat there for over an hour. "Was this it? Is this all that's left?" I just couldn't keep a coherent train of thought. Finally, I locked up the house and went to bed. I was so emotionally drained that surprisingly I had no problem sleeping until my alarm sounded the next morning.

There was no sign that Leanne had ever returned during the night. Running on automatic, I showered, dressed and went to work. Leanne never called me that day and both calls I made to her cell phone went directly to voice mail. I wanted to talk with her and not leave a damn message so I just disconnected instead.

Somehow I managed to get through the day at work. My personal trip to hell began that evening, as I sat on our bed and stared blankly at the open doors of the empty closet where my wife's clothes used to hang. Occasionally my gaze would drift to the open and empty drawers of her dresser.

I intuitively knew that I would find our bathroom empty of all her things that she had kept there. "She's gone!" There was no doubt in my mind. My wife had bailed and I knew that this wasn't some kind of stunt to fuck with my mind.

Somehow over the next three weeks, I stumbled through work. I'm sure that my boss was aware that I was struggling. I eventually informed him that my wife had left me. He didn't seem surprised. I guess over the years he had seen it before.

Finally I decided to take a week off from work. That Monday found me outside the office where Leanne worked. I was determined to confront her and I was not afraid to make a scene if necessary.

As I walked through the door, I could tell that everyone there recognized me immediately. Looking around at their faces, I realized that they were all friends of Leanne. To me they were just acquaintances.

I looked towards Leanne's desk and there was a woman sitting there that I had never seen before. Puzzled, I then looked around for Carol and June. They were not anywhere to be seen. I just stood there with my arms hanging loosely by my side. Everyone could see the lost look on my face.

Finally a woman whom I remembered as Evelyn approached me. "Monte can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Leanne!" As I said this I kept glancing wildly around the room looking for my wife.

"Oh my, you don't know!" With those words, Evelyn took my hand and led me into a small office off to the side. I quietly followed her and I'm sure that I looked completely lost and confused.

She sat me down and had someone run for a glass of water. Then Evelyn shut the door and sat across from me. "Monte, Leanne is not here. She doesn't work here anymore. We are not sure what happened, but she just stopped coming to work about three weeks ago."

I realized that was the day after she walked out on me. I never expected this. I was sure that she was still here. That heavy feeling in my heart just doubled in weight. She was not just gone from our home; she was gone from my life.

"Maybe Carol or June can tell me where she is." I was desperate and grasping at straws. My life was crumbling and I couldn't seem to do a thing to stop it from happening.

"They are gone also." She grimaced and continued, "Let me tell you what I have heard. Every since Leanne came to work here, she has been close friends with those two. I can tell you that on more than one occasion, I overheard them bashing you."

"They would tell Leanne that you were a controlling bastard who really didn't want her to have any fun. After a while I could hear Leanne agreeing with all the things that they told her. Leanne began to change after that. She began to associate only with Carol and June."

As Evelyn talked, I began to get a picture of the train wreck of my life. It seems that the deadly duo had both come from marriages where their husbands had dumped them for a younger woman. Once you got to know them, anyone could see that they were very bitter and had become very distrusting of any man.

It seems that they had become jealous of Leanne and over time had done their best to destroy our relationship. They poisoned her with their own bitterness and she just sucked it up as gospel.

The only good news was that even though the two she-devils tried to get Leanne to cheat on me, as far as anyone knew, they had not succeeded. The bad news was that she was gone and no one had a clue where.

That afternoon, I got a letter of notification from my bank. It seems that there had been an electronic withdrawal from our account. That's right, exactly one half of all our monies were gone. She didn't even have to come into the bank. It was all done over the internet.

All this time I had been putting off calling and talking to our daughter. Finally I placed the call. I started to try to tell Sam that her mom had left me, but she interrupted before I could really say much.

"Dad, Mom already called me. How could you do that to my mother?" Her voice was angry and shrill. "I can't believe that my own father could be so cruel. I am really angry and disappointed in you. Maybe someday I can get over your despicable actions, but right now I can't even stand to hear your voice."

With those words ringing in my ears, she slammed down the receiver and hung up on me. This was just too much. Now both the women in my life had shit on me. I would have laid down my life in their defense. I loved them both with my entire heart and soul. I didn't deserve any of that shit. I was not the bad guy here. I was the victim!

I waited a minute to calm down some and then dialed Sam's number again. When she answered the phone, I immediately cut her off and really laid into her.

"This is how you treat me? I'm your father and I've never done anything ever to be treated this way by you. I didn't leave your mother. She left me and she did it without a word. I had just finished begging her for her love. You know what she did? She never uttered a single syllable. She simply got up from the kitchen table and walked out of my life forever. I don't even know where she is or how to contact her."

I paused for a breath and then continued. "I will continue to pay for your college education because I gave my word. But from this point on, I don't want to talk to you, see you, or hear from you. You and your mother have finally and irrevocably done too much for me to ever forgive!"

I didn't bother to say goodbye. I simply hung up the phone. Then I broke down. While all that had been going on, I had managed to hold up more or less, but that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I sobbed and cried until my tear ducts went dry and then as crazy as it sounds, I cried some more.

My phone had kept ringing but I completely ignored it. I no longer cared to answer it. My life as I had known it was over. I had no wife and no daughter. I had no friends. All I had was an empty house and a job.

Chapter 2

With the words that you have just read, you have seen the end of my life as I had known it. I had nothing left but my job. The only way I was able to retain any sanity in my life was to devote myself to my work. That is just what I did. I went to work early and left late to make up for it. I worked six and seven days a week. I became the best in marketing and sales in my company. Face it, I could sell snow to an Eskimo or snow gear in hell.

That went on for about two months. Then my boss, who was much smarter than I ever gave him credit for pulled me into his office.

"Monte, you need to lighten up. You are a wreck just looking for a place to happen. How long do you think that you can keep up the pace you have been working?"

I looked at him puzzled and gave him my best answer. "Huh?"

"Look", he smiled, "you are my best salesman. Since your wife left you, your sales have gone up over 25%, but you are really starting to look like total dog shit. You are getting to the point where you have no best foot to put forward and in sales that is a death knell. You can't sell if your appearance is starting to scare your customers."

He went on to say some other things but I wasn't really paying attention. I realized that I was the most important thing in my life and I needed to start taking care of myself. Obviously, the people whom I had assumed cared for me really did not. It took a few days but suddenly I was eating better, joined a gym and was paying more attention to my personal hygiene.

Early on during the "Crap" period of my life, in a fit of anger, I had destroyed my cell phone. I just stomped on it until there was just a jumble of pieces that made it impossible to make or receive phone calls. When I went to my carrier for a new phone, they must been having a bad day also since they completely pissed me off.

The result of that was a new carrier, a new cell phone and a new phone number. I had cancelled my home phone service a few years ago since Leanne and I both had cell phones, so there was need for anything else. Now if anyone did not call me at work then they did not call me at all. I guarded my new number like a pit bull and was very, very selective in giving it out.

Sometime near the end of month four of my "Crap" period, the office receptionist, Paula, called me on my office intercom. "Monte, you have a call on line three; it's your daughter." She had no idea about my personal life. My boss and I had kept most of it just between the two of us.

I stared at the blinking light like it was the trigger to a bomb. The light just kept on blinking and I had no idea what to do. Paula's voice through the intercom startled me when she asked if I was going to pick up the line or not? I thought for a moment and then "Okay, thanks Paula, I'll pick it up."

I really didn't care about proper etiquette for answering this call. I simple picked up the receiver and said "What?" With a tremulous voice I heard Sam say "Dad, is that you?" "Yes, it's me." I was at loss about what to say so I kept my answers very short. I guess this was a day for surprises because I heard her say, "Can I see you? I need to see you, please!"

"Dad, I have been trying to work up the nerve to talk to you for over a month and I can't do this over the phone. I need to see you. I'm downstairs in the lobby and I'm not leaving until you agree to meet with me so I can talk to you and try to explain."

"I'm not sure we have anything to say to each other, Sam." "Please Dad, I'm begging!" I was pretty sure that I didn't want to do this, but if I had to then it would have to be someplace in public. From the tone of her voice I knew I had to do this. "Ok, My Place at 7:00 P.M." and I hung up.

For those that don't know, My Place is a small neighborhood bar near my house. I've been known to stop there now and then for a drink and while their menu is small, their food is the best. My daughter knew that I liked to stop there so I was certain she would find it with ease.

Sam was there when I walked through the door. She was sitting in one of the booths toward the rear of the bar. I couldn't help but notice that she looked like a little girl waiting for her punishment for something that she had done wrong. She was sitting hunched forward with her head hanging down and her hands clasped in her lap.

Sam didn't look up as I slid quietly into the booth opposite her. She knew I was there but made no acknowledgement of my presence. We sat there silently for several minutes. She had asked me to come. The pain of our last conversation was still a large lump in my heart. I said nothing simply because I didn't know what I could say.

Eventually Sam raised her head and looked me in the eyes. She had a very serious, no nonsense expression. "I don't know what is going on between you and Mom. I've been talking with her now for the last two months. I don't understand why she left. I know that she says that she still loves you but that she can't live with you anymore."

Then her voice became stronger as she said, "She won't tell me shit about what the hell happened between you and her. She says that it is none of my business and just to stay out of it. Well I want you to know that is total bullshit! You are both my parents and it is my business."

It was obvious that she was really stressed out but I could see her making a strong effort to control her emotions. I determined that the whole reason for the meeting between us was for me to tell my side of the story. She must have figured that half of the story was better than none.

We spent the next hour sitting there while I told her my story from the beginning til now. She was stunned when I told her how her mother had screamed at me and then she cried when I told her how Leanne left. "I can't believe that she would do that!" Sam kept softly repeating that phrase over and over throughout my narrative.

When I finished my story, I just sat there sipping my drink. Sam starting pulling herself together and after a few minutes, she made an excuse to go to the ladies room. She was gone for about fifteen minutes. She returned and took a seat again across from me.

Taking a long look at my face, she calmly told me, "I find some of the things that you told me so hard to believe and yet, I can hear in your voice that you believe what you say. I'm going to have to spend some time thinking about all this. I'm also going to make another attempt at a heart-to-heart with Mom.

With those words, she bid me a quiet "Good night Dad." Rising, she quickly left the bar. I didn't hear from or see my daughter for another month. I never expected to hear from her mother at all. So this is where I found myself at the very beginning of my story.

I was sitting in my new office when I saw her standing in my doorway.

I had recently been promoted because I had done such a good job in the last six months that I got my boss promoted and I was rewarded with his job. Good things do happen to people who work hard.

Why was my wife standing in my doorway?

The memory of the last evening we spent together flashed through my mind. I easily remembered the bewilderment and the pain of that evening and the many evenings that followed. Sitting there, I realized that the pain was still very real and very strong. However, the confusion was gone. In that flash of the moment, her ability to control and manipulate me was clearly in the past.

Slowly I looked her up and down. I could see changes since I had last laid eyes on her. She had cut her hair, her skirt was an inch or so shorter and her cleavage was definitely deeper. The four inch heels also were a change and it was a good overall picture that showcased the new woman she was trying to show me that she had become.

Since I was sitting, she probably couldn't see any changes in me. I probably was dressed a little better as I now wore a suit and tie, instead of just a tie. As I finally finished my inspection and my eyes rose to meet hers, I could see that she had been giving me her own inspection.

I could not read her expression. Her face was closed and tight. Her lips parted and she hissed, "You fucking bastard!" She waited a moment but before she could continue, I spoke first. "Leanne, I'm very busy and this is an office. I don't have time to play games with you. If you want to speak with me then I'll meet you at My Place at 8:00 P.M. Please leave now!"

I spoke very firmly and with authority. Leanne was visibly taken aback but still remained standing in my doorway. I picked up my phone and rang my new secretary. "Paula, please call for security as I have an intruder in my office and I want her removed immediately. If she refuses to leave then the police are to be called."

Leanne looked at me closely and then turned on her heels and left. She muttered over her shoulder, "I'll see you at eight." I could hear the clacking of her high heels as she walked rapidly down the hall and out of the building.

Paula sauntered into my office and grinned widely. "Security will be here any minute sir. I'm sure that HR is trying to hire them as we speak." I grinned back at her and thanked her for her promptness.

Paula and I had only been working together for about two full weeks. She was just what I needed and I was already appreciating her many professional talents as well as her very quick wit. She was very quickly becoming indispensable

I put my meeting with Leanne out of my mind and with Paula's able assistance; I put in a very productive day. After work I stopped by the gym for a quick workout. Then I went home, where I showered and changed clothes. I was sure that I was not going to enjoy spending time with Leanne. Her attitude at my office gave me a good idea of her feelings towards me.

I walked into the bar at 8:05 P.M. and after a quick look around, I could see that she had not yet arrived. I knew that drinking anything with alcohol in it was a mistake. So I decided on a Seven-Up with a lime for me. At 8:30 she still had not come. By that time I was really getting a slow burn on. This woman has been treating me like dog shit for almost a year. I had had it and stood to leave.

Talk about bad timing for me. If I had left five minutes earlier I would have missed her. As I turned to leave, she walked through the door. She stopped just inside and when she spied me, she motioned with her head towards one of the empty booths. With a shrug, I followed her and she took a seat. I took the one opposite her.

She had changed clothes into something more casual, but still looked very attractive. In all the years I had known her, she took good care of her looks and her figure. I tried to keep my poker face on as I looked at the angry frown on hers. We both sat there silently after ordering drinks. I guess we were making it a contest. You know, the first to talk loses.

Not saying anything was easy for me. I mean, the way that she treated me before she bailed on me was so beyond the woman I had thought I was married to. A lot of the pain was gone but in its place was anger. It would have been different if I had done something to deserve her shabby treatment. No matter how I looked at the demolition of our marriage, I could not identify much if anything that I had done wrong.

Finally with a deep sigh, Leanne grated through her teeth, "I cannot believe that you told all that awful lying crap to our daughter." I leaned back in surprise but still said nothing. "You know god-damned well why I left you. I just couldn't stand another minute in your company. All those years together and you treated me like a piece of furniture. You wanted to own me and I could not live like that."

She paused momentarily, panting heavily as though she had just run a foot race. Taking that as my cue, I rose from my seat, "I've spent the last six months trying to figure out just what I did to you to cause your actions. You sure as fuck didn't give me the courtesy of talking to me. Now that we are no longer a couple, I don't have to listen to your rabid bitch-dog bullshit."

It didn't take more than a minute for me to stride quickly out of the bar. Getting into my car, I drove out of the parking lot towards my home. I did get a glimpse her at the door to the bar, but couldn't tell what she might have been thinking about my escape.

It was a couple of days after that that I finally heard from Sam again. "Hi Dad, what say we do lunch today if you have time?" She sounded different than the last time we spoke. Her voice was calmer and maybe just a little friendlier.

So we sat together at TGIF's having lunch and really talking. It seemed a bit strange because for the last several months, we had been very much at odds. "I've tried talking with Mom until I'm blue in the face. She still insists that all this is none of my business and refuses to discuss it with me at all."

With a sarcastic twist to my lips, "Don't feel like she is treating me any different. I believe I'll go to my grave never knowing just what happened to us and why. I guess it is going to be just one of those mysteries of life."

"When I started challenging her about those things that you have shared with me, I kept a close look on her face and into her eyes. I could tell that there was more than once that I struck a nerve. However, every time I started to get close to the truth she would quickly say that she had to go because she was late for something or other."

Sam sighed and then continued. "There is one thing that really bothered me about this situation with you and Mom. There were these two ladies that would usually come with mom when I met her. They never sat with us but rather off to the side. Mom did introduce me to them and as I remember, their names were Carol and June."

An alarm went off in my head I immediately sat straight up in my seat. It had never dawned on me that Leanne was still with the "two bitches from hell". I know it was cliché but that is how I had thought of Carol and June. I knew that they were a major part of what had caused my marriage to implode but I had just assumed, wrongly, that they had moved on to other pastures.

Sam must have keyed in on my expression immediately. Putting her hand to her face, I could see that she had just made the same connection. "Oh my god, those are the same two bitches that turned Mom into someone that I don't know anymore." Sam's face was turning red and I could see her temper rising rapidly.

"Calm down honey. I don't want you to bust a gasket. I know that these two women were major players in changing your mother. Just keep in mind that even after all the years we were married, they didn't have any problem convincing her that I was a terrible man and husband."

Sam looked at me with tears in her eyes. "I just cannot understand why my mother has done this to us. She used to love us, but not anymore. This is not how someone treats the ones that they love. This is a horror story and I want out."

"Sam, you are feeling some of my pain now. I thought that Leanne loved me like I loved her. We were to grow old together and I never saw it happening any other way. The only thing I've been able to do is just go on with my life. It's hard because there is such a huge hole in my heart. I won't ever get over this, but I can't see me taking her back if she ever changed her mind."

I paused to gauge Sam's mood and then carried on.

"I've never been one to share my feelings with others. Your mother was my best friend. I've been lost since she left. I have finally reached a tipping point. These last two times I saw her has let me see that she no longer feels any real love for me. From this point on, I'm moving on with my life."

"I've held off for as long as I can now. This afternoon, I'll be contacting an attorney and filing for a divorce. I can't go on letting her control and manipulate my life. I love you and you will always have a place in my heart and in my life. I no longer see any need or reason to have anything further to do with my soon to be ex-wife."

"She is still my mother and I can't forget that. Seeing how she has treated you these last several months will have an adverse effect on how I feel about her and how I treat her. I hope that we will still be able to have a fairly reasonable relationship after this, Dad. It will be very, very hard."

We visited for just a few more moments and then after saying goodbye and promising to stay in close touch, I returned to work. I contacted a law office and before the end of the day, I had an appointment to see an attorney. This was probably one of the hardest things I had ever done. I just knew I had no choice.

Chapter 3

I had been coasting through my personal life for the last six months. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I had been convinced that Leanne would return and in some way we would return to the marriage I believed we had shared.

The decision to file for divorce created a huge feeling of depression. I continued to work as it was the only life I had left. Away from work, I became a virtual vegetable. I started taking drugs to go to merciful sleep and then I had to take pills to be alert enough to continue at work.

Again, my boss came to my rescue. He noticed very quickly that I was again sliding down into a deep depression. With his encouragement, I began to seek counseling. This time, I was able to climb out of the deep abyss much more quickly than with my first bout of depression. I realized that no matter what I may have done wrong in my relationship with Leanne, I did not deserve her callous abandonment.

My lawyer was a great lady. I had expected an impersonal and business like legal-beagle, but was very quickly made comfortable and at ease with her. Sarah Dixon was compassionate and caring but all the while remained completely professional. She seemed to understand my feelings and insecurities and always tried to support me while working toward a divorce that I really did not want.

It only took a few meetings with Sarah to get most of the arrangements straightened out and completed. Leanne had actually helped the process when she had stripped our accounts of half of all our monies. In fact, Sarah had been surprised that Leanne had not taken more. She said that it was typical that one or the other partner would rape the money accounts.

Sarah was also surprised that in all this time I had done nothing to protect myself from further financial disaster. With her help, I did those things that I had neglected for so long. All joint accounts were closed and re-opened in my name only. All credit cards with both of our names were canceled and those accounts closed. I gave Sarah notarized copies of all bank documents so she could show the courts the actions that I had taken.

The only good thing about taking these actions was finding out that, since I had brought our home to the marriage, it was mine free and clear. It was paid off with no liens of any kind. I had actually made the purchase in anticipation of my marriage to Leanne. Just the matter of my name being the only one on the deed and by completing the purchase just days before the wedding made me about $240,000 richer.

When all was done and Sarah was ready to file my petition for divorce with the courts, I decided to call Sam. It had only been a few days since we had last visited. Even though, I had mentioned to her that I would be seeing a lawyer and about filing for a divorce, I was still just a little nervous about telling her that it was actually happening. I asked her to meet with me.

"Sam, I'm sure that you realized that it's been almost eight months since your mother left me. I had hoped that she would change her mind and come back to me. I have finally admitted to myself that she is really gone."

She looked at me and I could see the sadness and fear in her eyes. I decided to get right to it because I could see that she was becoming quite upset. "I have filed for divorce. I will have a process server try to deliver the papers to your Mom in a few days, after my attorney files them with the courts."

"I knew the longer this went on that something like this was going to happen." Sam looked me straight in the eye as she continued, "Although I see Mom almost every week, she has made it very clear that she will not talk about you and what happened. Just let me know when she will be served so that I can be close by to support her if she needs it."

Somehow I was surprised at the frequency of contact between Sam and Leanne. I guess I really had not thought about it much. I don't know why but this actually hurt my feelings just a bit. Sam must have noticed something because, "Dad please don't be hurt. Mom had asked me not to talk to you about seeing her. I also could see that you really did not want to hear about her as well."

"Honey, would you please call my lawyer with your mother's address. I don't know where she is and I don't want the temptation of knowing. I am afraid that I would try to see her. Sarah has drilled into me that from this point on I can't have any contact with Leanne except through lawyers and the courts."

She assured me that she would call Sarah before the day was done. On that sad note, we concluded our visit. The vacancy in my heart was still there and I was sure that it would take a long, long time to heal if ever.

For the next few days, I went to work and then home. I didn't try to contact Sam and I knew if Sarah wanted to talk to me then she would call. It was on Friday afternoon that Sarah called me letting me know that my soon-to-be ex-wife had been served. Less than a half hour later, my secretary told me that my daughter was on the phone.

"Hi Sam, I assume you are calling me about the divorce papers being served on your mom?

"Dad, I just got off the phone with Mom. She was so mad that I could barely make sense of her words. She said a lot of things, but she kept repeating that it would be a cold day in hell before she gave you a divorce."

"What? I don't understand. She left me. She took half of all our money. She has not spoken a civil word to me in almost nine months. I'm sorry but I just don't understand why she would contest the divorce. Other than the money she took out of our accounts, I haven't given her a dime."

"It's a complete mystery to me also. I mean, she won't even talk to me about it. My own mother leaves my dad and gets up and walks away every time I try to discuss it with her. Now when the shit finally hits the fan, she is all angry and surprised that her husband wants out of the marriage. It's like she has really lost all contact with reality except where it directly concerns her."

If it wasn't such a tragedy to me, I would have laughed out loud. My wife is angry with me because I want to divorce her. The abandonment of me and our marriage apparently are not factors to be considered in the decision that I made to divorce her. Her far less than loving behavior towards me, obviously in her opinion, should not cause me to take such a dastardly step.

"Well she has the number for my attorney so I should not have to deal with her at least directly. However if you should hear that the she-devil is heading my way, give me fair warning and I will run as fast as possible in the opposite direction. Really, Sam, I have lost all desire to speak personally with your mother."

Shortly after that, we ended our conversation. No sooner had I replaced the receiver than the phone rang again. I looked at the caller ID and felt the blood run from my face. It was the She-Devil herself. Being the intelligent and brave soul that I am, I let it go to voice mail. Then I deleted the message without listening to it.

A few minutes later, the phone rang again. And again, it was my wife. I repeated steps one and two and then muted the ringer for the phone. These new office phones have all kinds of features. I was lucky that with my promotion some months ago, I had been given a new cell phone with a new number. I was sure that Leanne did not have that number.

The thought of what mischief my wife could be up to unsettled me and ensured that I spent a restless night. I dozed throughout the night but never really achieved an actual sleep state. The next morning, I wearily entered my office where I was greeted by my secretary.

"Good morning Boss, I certainly hope that what has been going on here for the last half hour is not indicative of how our day will go on from here." Paula smiled too brightly and handed me a half dozen phone messages from guess who?

"Please get my attorney on the line as soon as possible. Also, under no circumstances do I want to receive any calls from my wife. I'm going to lock my office door just in case the bitch actually has the balls to come here. If she does arrive, you are to contact the police to come and remove a dangerous and violent trespasser. Am I clear?"

"Crystal" was her short and snappy reply.

A few minutes later I was on the phone with Sarah. "I don't want to have any contact with my wife. Is there anything that I can do to keep her away from me at home and at work?" I had told her what my daughter had related to me about Leanne making statements concerning our divorce. I was really digging in my heels here. I did not under any circumstances want any contact with my wife. Once I had made up my mind to go through with the divorce, I was done with her.

I was just getting ready to hang up the phone when suddenly there was this ferocious banging on my office door. I heard Leanne through the door yelling, cussing and screaming. I asked Sarah if she was still on the line and if she could hear my wife?

"Actually, I can hear her very well. Don't hang up as I'm recording her and I want to get as much as I can."

I heard Paula tell Leanne that she was trespassing. Also she was very firm in letting her know that I had left orders that if she refused to leave, the police would be called and she would be arrested. Leanne answered with even louder screams and swearing.

I don't know how Paula did it but in just a few more minutes the police were in my outer office and shortly after they escorted Leanne from the building. I found out later that they took her to the station and even though there were no charges made, there was now a record of her behavior. By noon the next day, Sarah had made arrangements to have a restraining order in place. My wife could not stop shooting herself in the foot.

After that, I heard no more from my wife. However, the restraining order did not stop her from hounding our daughter. Sam called me every few days to relay the latest demand from Leanne. Her pendulum swung from one extreme to the other. On one hand there was "I will never give you a divorce" to "I'll take you for every dime you have".

After a few weeks, Leanne stopped bothering Sam. I guess she finally got it through her thick skull that her daughter had no control over my divorce petition. In fact from what Sam told me, she flatly informed her mother that she supported my actions. About three weeks after filing for divorce, Sarah called me. "Monte, just wanted to let you know that Leanne has hired a lawyer. I spoke with him this morning and he wants to set up a meeting with the four of us in attendance."

"No and not only no, but hell no. I have complete faith in your talent and know that you will represent me to the best of your ability. So I don't agree to any meeting with Leanne that includes me. That is my final answer!"

"I realize very well that you do not have to attend any such meeting. However, as your lawyer I must say that it is very irregular. Also it goes against what I know to be in your best interests. I must advise you that attending any such meeting is very important in this divorce proceeding.

"I don't care and even if it costs me more money, I will not attend any meeting."

Sarah kept me up to date even though there was not much progress to report. My wife, through her attorney, kept repeating her request for a meeting with all parties. I dug in my heels and just kept on saying no to any meeting.

Well I have only myself to blame because my own stubbornness put me right in the position that I had been avoiding at all costs. Sarah called and asked me to stop by her office after work. She said that she needed to bring me up to date on the progress of my divorce.

"Hi Monte, come on in." Sarah didn't give me the typical smiling welcome I was used to receiving from her. That put me just a little on edge as I took a seat in her office. Instead of taking a seat behind her desk as she normally did, she took a seat in a chair next to me.

"I warned you that I needed your participation in these meetings. Well today, your stubbornness just bit you in the ass. In our meeting today with the judge, she kept asking why you were not there. I told her the only thing that I could. I told her that you did not want to have to see or talk with your wife."

"I knew that I was going to really piss off Judge Martin when I told her that. But not even for you am I going to lie to a judge while sitting in front of her in chambers. I just about shit when Leanne requested for mandated marriage counseling. I objected of course but I could see right off the bat that Judge Martin snapped up that idea like a dog with a bone."

"I'm absolutely not and I repeat, not going to any counseling with that bitch! They can't make me do that, can they?"

"Let me explain it to you in small words so that even you can understand. You will be going to counseling with your wife or you will be going to jail. If you decide to go to jail, Judge Martin can pretty much keep you there as long as she likes. She can keep you there far longer than any time you could have spent attending meetings with your wife. Am I clear?"

I've heard of people that felt so strongly about something that they were willing to go to jail. I'm not one of them. I don't believe in cutting off my nose to spite my face either. "I'm not going to jail. So what do I have to do and for how long?"

She handed me a list. "There are four names on this list. You will pick two, Leanne will pick two and Judge Martin will pick two. The name most chosen will be your counselor. The judge has decided that you will attend a minimum of twenty sessions. Ten will be by yourself and ten will be with your wife. Also the judge asked me to let you know that this is not an item for discussion. You will attend and you will not miss any scheduled session or she will jail you for contempt."

I was pissed but had to recognize that, as Sarah said, this was a self- inflicted injury. I had no one to blame but myself. I grabbed a pen off her desk and randomly checked two names. There was no way to see what the gender might have been. Sarah took my selections and after just a few moments we were done and I was out the door.

Over the next few days, I waited for the other shoe to drop. I worried constantly about the choice of counselor. The names on the list did not give the first names so there was no indication of gender. I really wanted to get a man as I felt that I would be more likely to establish a more understanding relationship with a male.

I guess in the story of my life, the more I wanted something, the less likely I was to get it. When Sarah called me, I could hear the bad news in her voice. She knew that I wanted a male in the worst way. The tone of her voice let me know immediately that I had lost my choice. The counselor was a woman and her name was Dr. Loretta Sterling.

Chapter 4

I just sucked it up because as my grandpa always said, it is what it is. So, there I was in the good doctor's waiting room. Of course my trials didn't end with that statement. Sitting across the room was my wife. She did try to avoid looking at me, but when she did, it was with a hard glare.

As I waited, I reflected on the fact that after almost a year, I still didn't know why Leanne was so angry with me. Over the years of our marriage, I had learned that she had three levels that she could reach when she was unhappy with me. There was pissed, mad and of course the worst was angry. The looks and the way she had treated me was definitely in the angry category. Not knowing why made it so much more aggravating.

Finally we were ushered into the inner sanctum of Dr. Sterling's office. Other than the chair behind a desk, there were only two chairs for our selection. I took the one on the right. A moment later, I noticed that Leanne was still standing. She seemed to be looking for a chair other than the obvious one that was available. I could see that she did not want to sit next to me. With a small sigh, I stood and moved her chair as far from mine as was possible.

As I returned to my chair, she took hers as well. Then she crossed her legs and shifted so that she did not have to look at me. I was really starting to get angry. Fortunately, Dr. Sterling came into the room. Taking her chair behind the desk, she greeted us warmly.

"Good evening Leanne and Francis. My name as you know is Dr. Loretta Sterling. Please, in order to keep things as relaxed as possible, call me Loretta. I hope that I can address you by your given names as well." She seemed very calm and it was obvious that she was trying to make us at ease with her and our surroundings.

"I have a few rules that I must insist that you both follow. First, I cannot help you without complete honesty on your part. Second, and this is most important, no interrupting when the other is speaking. Just wait your turn and I will always give you an opportunity to speak."

My chair was turned just enough that I could see Leanne nod her head as I nodded mine as well. That seemed to be simple and straight forward. I was sure that I could meet her requests. I was also excited because I was beginning to feel that maybe I could get some of the answers to why we were at this place in our lives.

"I know that you are both here for court-ordered counseling. I also know, Leanne, that you requested this meeting. Francis, I know that you did not want any meeting with your wife. I have the judge's order and I plan to complete the required sessions as directed. I would like to meet with Leanne every Tuesday at 4:00 pm and then I will meet with Francis every Wednesday at 4:00 pm. We will have a joint session every Friday at 5:00 pm. Is there any scheduling problem with these days and times?

Again, our response was non-verbal as we both shook our heads. "Great! I need to know from each of you just why you are here and what you hope to accomplish with these sessions. Leanne, I will have you go first. As simply as you can, please tell me why you are here and what your goals may be."

Without looking at me, Leanne began, "I don't want a divorce. It's that simple to me. I want to know why my husband cheated on me and I want you to help us get past his actions."

Her statement left me speechless. At least I avoided violating the second rule about interrupting. This was the first clue that she had given me. Her abandonment of me began to make some sense. I still did not understand why she left me without a word and why so much time had passed without a word from her.

"Francis, please give me your answer."

"Doctor, I would like you to address me as either Monte or Mr. Moody. No one except my mother calls me Francis. I have never liked that name and I won't respond to it. Now, I want to make it clear that I don't want to be here. I will comply with the judge's order, so don't worry about that. When my wife left me, she did it without a word. No one else in my entire life has ever treated me as coldly as she did that evening. This is the first I've heard about her reasons for her actions."

I decided to stop right there. I was still confused about the charge of cheating on my wife. From our first date, I never even kissed another woman except for an occasional innocent kiss to the cheek. I was now curious to hear about this fictitious affair. I knew that this gave me a one up on Leanne and I wanted to talk with my lawyer so, together, we could plan a strategy on how best to proceed.

My wife and Loretta did most of the talking for the remaining time in our session. Leanne said that she had information from two separate sources that confirmed that I had been cheating on her. "I know that he cheated on me with more than one woman. I know that he met them for sex on several occasions. I could feel that I was losing my love for him, drawing further away each day. I kept hoping that he would stop and finally confess to me, but that never happened."

"The night that he wanted to sit down and talk was the last straw. When Monte tried to put the blame on me for our failing relationship, I lost it completely. I could only see two choices. I could kill him or I could leave. As bad as he had hurt me, I just couldn't hurt him. I left that night. The next day, I came back and took all my belongings. I quit my job and cut all my ties with him."

During this dialogue, Leanne kept fidgeting in her chair and wringing her hands. I could see her becoming distraught as she continued relating her tale.

"I had hoped that by leaving him, he would finally confess all his cheating. Once he did that, we could start working on getting back together. It never happened and I was so angry with him when he poisoned my relationship with our daughter. I just kept waiting for something to happen that would let me begin talking with him again. This divorce gave me that opportunity."

Once she finally ran down, they both turned and looked to me as if asking for an explanation for my actions. "Well she has certainly made me look like the bad boy. I must put this as plainly as possible. I never knew about any of the things that she has revealed today. I never knew why she left or where she went. I had no way to contact her. I had no phone number, place of work, or home address. She left me without a single word and until our daughter contacted me, I didn't even know if she was still in town."

I had been looking directly at Loretta but then I turned to Leanne and said, "I can't believe that after almost a year apart with no communication to speak of that you have the balls to say you want to save our marriage. I'm saddened to say that you are basically too late. I don't believe that with all that has happened, there is much left to try to save."

I just stopped at that point because I didn't want to say more until talking with my lawyer. At that point Loretta pointed out that we were out of time for our first session. She reminded us of our next appointments with her. I rose to leave, however Leanne remained seated. Maybe she didn't want to leave at the same time with me. I really did not want to walk out to our cars together either. In just moments I had quickly reached my car. As I pulled out of the lot, I caught a glimpse of my wife leaving the building.

That evening I could not stop thinking of what Leanne had accused me of doing. I knew that I had not cheated with another woman with even so much as an inappropriate hug or kiss. Her belief in my guilt seemed to be honest and if she did believe I had cheated, then, her anger would be justified.

I just could not see what I may have done to convince her of my guilt. Understand, I am the original home-body. I would much prefer to stay at home rather than go out to eat or for entertainment. Looking at our lives together, Leanne was away from our home much more than I. Especially after she went back to work and when you looked at the time she spent with the two she-devils, June and Carol.

Leanne used to tease me because she had seen on several occasions that I had been clueless when some woman was hitting on me. She even went on to laugh at me because if I became aware of something like that, I would immediately distance myself from the situation. Leanne said that on those few occasions, the look on my face was priceless.

The next day I spoke with Sarah on the phone. "You are telling me that your wife is accusing you of having affairs? She is saying that you are cheating on her with more than one woman? She moved out because she feared doing you bodily harm?"

Sarah paused for a moment.

"I have to ask if her accusations are true. It won't change anything on the divorce because we are a ‘no fault state'. It could however possibly have adverse effects on some of the court proceedings we may have to deal with."

"Sarah, I can say without a doubt, I have never cheated on my wife. Throughout our marriage, I have honored the vows that I took before God, her, our families and friends."

"Okay, I believe you. Now that there is no issue of cheating on your part, my next question would be about whether you believe she has cheated on you? You have had no contact with her for a year. There is a lot that could have happened in that time. You have continued to honor your wedding vows but has she?"

"However, there is the fact that she claims to have reliable information or witnesses to your infidelity. I want you to find out during your counseling sessions, exactly what information she has that has convinced her that you have cheated. I have an idea for a plan of action, but I need any information you can obtain before I can put it into place."

Sarah refused to share details of her plan. I spent the next several days making plans of my own. I was trying to think of the best ways that I could ask for the proof of my infidelities. I had several ideas but decided in the end to go with the flow. If my questions seemed to be scripted, that may make Leanne suspicious and less willing to share any details.

So there it was, Wednesday and it was 4:00 pm. I was sitting in a chair in the good doctor's office twiddling my thumbs waiting for my first individual session to begin. I don't know why I was so anxious about this meeting. I just couldn't imagine what we would have to talk about for a solid hour.

Doctor Swift came swiftly into her office and took her chair behind the desk. I'm sorry, but I could not help the pun and it brought a grin to my face. She smiled at me and then we started my first solitary counseling session.

"Good afternoon Monte. Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you waiting."

"Don't worry about it Doc. I've just been here trying to figure out just what we would talk about for an hour. I just don't see that much to discuss."

"You will be surprised how fast the time will fly. An hour will seem woefully short with the things that I plan to discuss with you. I would like you to call me Loretta because it will help how we work together. However, if you're not comfortable with that then please call me Doc. Now I'm sure that you remember the reasons why your wife left you. I would like to talk about your affair or affairs."

"Nice try Doc." I held up my hand to stop her right there. "Let me make this perfectly clear. I have never cheated on my wife. I have honored the vows we made when I married her up to and including today. Since she has never spoken with me about her so-called evidence, I have no idea what she is referring to. Now are you sure that we have anything to talk about?"

Loretta looked at me for about fifteen seconds. "You are right. If you can't be honest with me, than we do have nothing to talk about. Monte, this is really important. I can't begin to help you and Leanne start to mend your relationship if you can't be honest."

"I'm sorry about that, but despite your doubts, I'm giving you complete honesty. I'm the original homebody and I went on to explain to her that I had never knowingly put myself in any situation where I had to make a decision about my fidelity. How I practically ran from any encounter that remotely smelled like trouble. Then I pointed out that my so-called loving wife had, especially in the last year, many more opportunities than I did."

"I've put a lot of thought into this lately and I believe that there is a distinct possibility that this is just a stupid ploy on her part. This cheating ticket is a fabrication so that she can go play. I also want to bring up the devil duo. Did my ever-so-loving wife mention Carol and June? I guess you are right. We do have a lot to discuss."

"One of the most difficult things about my job is trying to determine if a patient is telling the truth or not. All I can do is give you the benefit of the doubt. That creates another problem for me. When I talk with Leanne, I have to give her the benefit of the doubt as well. I guess that is a classic example of a conundrum."

I guess the look on my face gave me away. "It's means like a riddle. My job is to solve the riddle by somehow compelling both of you to finally be honest about your relationship with each other."

We did find plenty to talk about for the entire hour and she was right in that an hour was really not enough time. We didn't resolve anything but when I left, I felt better than I had for a long, long time. She did make a point to shy away from discussing anything about her meeting with Leanne. I was assured that our joint meeting on Friday would address those issues.

I spoke with Sarah the next afternoon and filled her in on my session with Loretta. When I used the word conundrum, she laughed. "You must have stolen that from your doctor. There is no way a guy like you would know a word like that." She told me that she was still working on her plan and encouraged me to make full use of my sessions, "because despite what you may think, you and Leanne could work out your problems and get back together."

On Friday, I was not as nervous as I had been for my first session. I figured that there were no more surprises left. I was also curious how Leanne would react to my declaration of innocence.

Well shit! I hate surprises. It was amazing. She cried and sobbed while she swore at me. I have been called a lot of names before but this was the first time they were all used in the same hour. When I told her I had never cheated, she immediately impressed me with her vocabulary. She called me a liar, a phony, hypocrite, fraud, etc. etc. I found it funny that she used such colorful adjectives before each word, such as fucking phony and other such combinations.

It surprised me also that when she started crying, I had to resist taking her in my arms trying to comfort and protect her from her obvious pain. Every time I had tried to build up some protective emotional armor, something such as that just destroyed it. Just when I start to believe that I may be getting past all the hurt she had put me through over the last year, shit happened and it always seemed to happen to me!

Once I managed to escape from the couple's session, I headed straight to the nearest bar. I walked through the door and took a stool at the bar and while ordering my first drink, handed my car keys to the lady behind the bar. "Please don't ask. Just call me a cab when you think that I'm done." I gave her my address. I was tempted to give her the name of my next of kin.

I dimly remember talking with my daughter, Sam, but I don't remember whatever we might have talked about. I awoke into a world of pain; pain from the light and pain from the drinks of the night before. Thanks to all the gods that this was the weekend. I knew that it would take most of that time before I would return to the land of the living.

The following Wednesday evening during my session with Doc Loretta, we talked a great deal about Leanne's conviction that I had cheated. "She is convinced that you cheated on her and yet you still deny emphatically, stating you have not. I don't see us making any progress until we resolve this issue. I see this as a deal breaker. And you, Monte, still maintain your innocence?"

I looked her in the eyes and nodded my head. "So what do we do if we can't get past this?"

"I'm going to spend a lot of time trying to come up with a solution. If I can't, then I'm afraid that I will fail in my attempt to help you and Leanne save your relationship."

The next day during my weekly meeting with Sarah, she finally clued me in on her plan. It was a stroke of genius. She wanted me to demand that Leanne reveal her information. We both strongly felt that the terrible two-some were somehow involved. I know that we were jumping to a conclusion about that with the little information that we had, but you've got to work with what you have.

I was starting to dread the arrival of Friday. To this point, each meeting had left me feeling lost. I could see no progress in healing the damages to my marriage. This session started out the same as each previous one with Leanne continued to accuse me of everything that had gone wrong with our relationship. I tried to be patient as I waited for my turn and when it came, I put step one of Sarah's plan into action.

"I only see one way to break this deadlock that we find ourselves in. You say I've cheated and I say that I have not. I'm not changing my story and that is final." I looked at both Loretta and Leanne and I continued, "It's time to put up or shut up. It's time to see just what ‘evidence' existed to confirm my betrayal of our vows."

"Why do I have to prove your guilt? I know what you have done and you know also. This is a ridiculous idea and I'm not going to even consider it."

"Doc, what do you think? I would think that this is a classic case of being innocent until proven guilty. You said that you have not been able to figure out a way to get past this. I'd like to hear your thoughts."

"I'm going to support Monte on this issue. Leanne, it is time for you to tell us what you have for proof of your claims. Somehow and some way, we have to finally put to rest your claims of your husband's actions."

"Okay, but you will have to let me tell it my way." She looked at me before continuing. "I don't want any interruptions from you, Monte. I don't know why I was so reluctant to disclose all this. I guess that I'm actually embarrassed."

She took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. "I have two very good friends. Their names are Carol and June. When I first went back to work, I felt out of place because I didn't know anyone there. They both went out of their way to make me feel welcome and help me fit in. Over time, we became something like the three musketeers. I had lost touch with most of my old friends and when Samantha left for college. I started having a little fun for the first time in years."

"Then Monte starts in on me about my friends. He starts out with comments about them being a little wild. Over time it gets even worse. He starts making comments about how he thinks they act a little slutty. It pissed me off when he did that. I ended up asking the girls to maybe tone it down a little whenever he was around. I had to tell them why and I could tell that it made them really mad."

"Things just kept getting worse. Monte wouldn't give up on slamming my friends. He said that they were sluts and that if I kept hanging with them that people would think the same of me. When I told Carol and June what he had said, I thought they were going to stop being friends with me. I finally lost it and told Monte to butt out and leave them alone. He did back off and I thought that everything would be ok."

"Then one day Carol came to me and said she wanted to talk. I could tell that she hated telling me what she had observed about Monte. I knew that her husband had left her for another woman and she had been hurt deeply. I had to coax her to tell me what was on her mind. She told me that Monte was displaying the same characteristics of her ex-husband before he left her. Maybe it was nothing, but Carol cautioned me to keep a close eye on him.

"About a week later, I remember it was on a Monday. We had all gone to a BBQ that last weekend. June had been quiet all day at work. I felt that she was avoiding me and it hurt my feelings. We decided to stop for a quick one after work, as we did a few times a week. Carol and I had to talk June into joining us."

"It took both Carol and I to get June to talk to us about what was troubling her. What she had to say hurt me really bad. I have never felt such pain before. June was crying and trying to apologize to me for what happened over the weekend. Monte had caught her coming out of the bathroom. He tried to feel up her tits while telling her how much he wanted to fuck her. She struggled and managed to get away from him. Afraid to tell anyone what had happened, she spent all the rest of the time glued to Carol's side.

"Carol and I were upset that we had never noticed how much she had been upset by Monte's actions. I had always trusted him and up to then he had never given me any reason to believe otherwise. As the evening wore on, Carol and June continued to tell me stories about their ex-husbands and how much Monte's actions mirrored theirs. I just couldn't help myself. I began to believe that where there is smoke, there is fire.

"After that night, I just couldn't help myself. I began to draw away from Monte. I just could not stand for him to kiss or hug me and for sure, sex was definitely out. I just could not stop being hurt and angry. I was just so angry. How could he do this to me?"

"The day before I finally gave up and left, Carol and June came to me again. We had gone to lunch together and I could tell that something was bothering both of them. I know that I have really drawn out my story but I needed to tell this my way. To make this long story short, they had seen Monte coming out of a motel room a few days before."

"That evening when I went home was the evening that Monte told me he wanted to talk. I just knew that he was going to tell me that he was leaving me. I went up to our bedroom to try to give myself some time to calm down. Eventually I went down to the kitchen and that is where Monte put all that shit on me about loving me and all. I flipped out. I just could not take it anymore. I grabbed my keys and ran out of the house. I spent the night with Carol and June. I cried most of the night because I was so hurt and angry. The next day I quit my job, went home to grab my clothes and stuff and moved in with my friends."

By that time, Leanne had two tear tracks with mascara running down her face. We could tell that she had run out of gas. She had no more left in her to continue. We all sat there for almost five minutes while we waited for her to calm down.

I could see that we were almost out of time for that session. We had no more than five minutes left. It was time for step two of Sarah's plan. I couldn't believe how everything was coming together like she said.

"I still maintain that all those acts that I've been accused of did not happen. I know that you believe your friends and that there is no way they would lie about something so important to you. They have no actual proof such as photos or a private investigator's report. My lawyer says that she can arrange a lie detector test for these two ladies."

The look on both Leanne's and Loretta's faces was classic. Where is a camera when I really need one?

"I don't know?" Loretta stuttered. She turned to Leanne saying, "Do you think that they would agree?"

"I'll have to ask. I have no idea if they would agree to a lie detector test."

I leaned forward towards Loretta. "Here Doc, this is my lawyer's card. Leanne, please call the good doctor here and let her know whether your very, very good friends are willing to undergo a lie detector test. I'm betting that they will refuse. The reason I say that is because they have fed you a major crock of bullshit. When they decline, then you will know who has been telling the truth and who has been blowing smoke up your ass."

Then our time was up, so I rose from my seat. Wishing both ladies a sarcastic good night, I left and went home for the evening.

I had not been home for more than a half hour when the phone rang. It was Sarah and I could tell that she was bouncing in her chair as she started interrogating me about the session with Leanne. She literally squealed when I told her that her suppositions were dead on the nail. "I hate to say I told you so, Monte, but I told you so! I'll be waiting for the good doctor's call. I can't help but believe it will never come." She wanted to meet for drinks so she could crow some more, but I was drained from the session. I thanked her for the invite but declined.

Monday, Sam called me and invited me to lunch. We hadn't seen much of each other since the sessions started. She said that she didn't want to interfere. What she probably meant was that she didn't want to have to listen to all the drama.

"You will never guess who called me yesterday." She cradled her face in her hands and put on that sweet smile that was also so insincere.

"So, how is your Mom?"

"Crap, how did you know? Oh well it really doesn't matter. I bet you don't know what we talked about." I just smiled at her but didn't say anything. "She called to let me know that she had moved this weekend. She was a little vague, but did admit that she had a falling out with those two women I had mentioned. She did not sound all that happy. In fact, she was a little weepy."

I wasn't comfortable telling Sam about our sessions with Doctor Loretta. I did mention that those two women had less than truthful with her mother.

"I see that you are not going to tell much more than Mother did," Sam griped "I wish the two of you would stop treating me like the mushroom. You know, covering me with shit and keeping me in the dark." She laughed and "I always wanted to use that line and this was a perfect spot for it."

We did go on to have a nice father/daughter lunch and we both promised to call more regularly.

The following Wednesday, I arrived a few minutes late for my session. As soon as I was ushered into her office, Doctor Loretta immediately said, "Your wife did not show for her appointment yesterday. I tried to call her and all I got was her voice ma il. This is a violation of the court mandated counseling as ordered by the judge."

"So what happens now? There is no sense in my attending sessions if she is no longer participating. In fact, as it was explained to me by my lawyer, I can now proceed with my request for a divorce without further objections from my wife."

"Monte, I spoke with the judge who has decided to wait and see if Leanne shows up on Friday. At that time she will make a decision as whether to continue the sessions or not. So we might as well have our session today."

We went on to talk for the remainder of the session about my feelings and how damaging Leanne's actions have been for me. I also gave the good Doc more background about the dynamics of the relationship between Leanne and her friends, Carol and June. I noticed that she did not seem surprised by that information. When the session was over, I told Loretta that I was reasonably sure that Leanne would not show on Friday. "She has not tried to contact me in any way. I'm sure that by now she knows or at least suspects that I didn't cheat on her. I don't have any idea where she might want to go from here. I'm pretty sure that I know what I want."

Loretta looked at me askance, but I just nodded good night to her and left. I was really becoming very tired of the whole mess that Leanne had created simply because she had refused to talk with me and hear my side of the story. The trouble with pain is that eventually it destroys so many things. My love for Leanne had taken so many direct hits that I wasn't sure if there was enough left to continue with our marriage.

The next two days I went into work and immersed myself in the daily grind. It helped a lot to get me through the days but the nights were another story. I spent the evenings trying to see if there had been anything that I could have done to avert the perfect storm that wrecked my marriage. I could see several instances that I maybe could have changed some things. In the end, I knew there was nothing that I could have done. My wife's unwillingness to give me a chance to defend myself kept getting in the way.

Friday, Loretta and I were sitting in her office. We had been there for about fifteen minutes and I was ready to call it a night. We really had nothing left to talk about. She just had to make her recommendation to the court and the divorce would proceed accordingly.

Suddenly, the door opened and Leanne stormed into the room. She was breathing heavily as though she had been running. Gasping, she said, "I'm so sorry I'm late! Of all times, I had a flat tire. I have never changed a tire in my life but by god, I got it done and I'm so grateful to find both of you still here."

"Well you are here now", Loretta said, "Please take your seat and we will get started. Leanne, I need to tell the judge why you were not here for our last meeting. Remember, no excuses will do. I need complete honesty from you starting right now."

"Honest, I really had a flat tire. Look in my trunk because there is a ruined tire in there." Holding up her hands, she said "look at my hands. I scraped the shit out of them and tore more than one nail. Damn it, I am not lying!"

"That is not what I'm asking you." Speaking each word separately, Loretta spoke, "Why - Did - You - Miss - Your - Session?"

Startled, Leanne put her hands to her face. In a voice barely above a whisper, "I was too ashamed. How could I come here and face you after all the bullshit I've been spouting for all these weeks. I had no idea that Carol and June were lying through their teeth to me. They were my friends! How could they!

"When I asked them to take the lie detector test, they burst out laughing. I was so confused. Why were they laughing? Then June told me right to my face that they had both made up this entire story. They were mad at Monte because he treated them like dog shit. That was their whole reason. I still have trouble believing that they would do this to me."

"So, you were embarrassed and couldn't face me yet, here you are and apparently you are not too self-conscious to face Monte. I haven't heard anything from you that says you are sorry about the year of hell that your husband has had to endure. I don't see any remorse on your face or in your actions that say you're sorry. All I hear is that you are upset because your friends lied to you."

I sat there watching the two of them go back and forth. I was really beginning to enjoy myself. Loretta was not giving Leanne any slack from the get-go.

"I am sorry about what happened to Monte. I would never have done anything like this if they had not lied to me."

"So you are embarrassed. Do you think that you could tell Monte and me just why you have not spoken to him for a year? I mean except for giving him a ration of shit a few times. Remember, I said no more bull shit."

"I told you that I was angry. I was hurt and angry and I kept waiting on him to tell me why he cheated on me. Also staying with Carol and June didn't help much either. I realize now that they were just feeding the fire about Monte. It seemed like every time I started to cool off, they would start in telling me that he was just like their husbands. I guess that I was so torn and confused that I just believed all that they were saying at the time."

Finally, Leanne turned to me and said, "I'm sorry Monte. I'm so sorry that I've treated you so badly. Do you think that you can forgive me?"

"Leanne, how many years were we married? When did I ever give you any idea that I was cheating on you? I thought we had a good, solid marriage. Hell, we raised a wonderful daughter together. All those years we stuck together through the good times and the not-so-good times. You were my wife, lover, mother of my child and my best friend. When you left without explanation you took all those things from me and ripped out my heart in the process."

"Somehow, and I don't know why, I still love you. I believe that someway and somehow, I will find a way to forgive you." Leanne's face brightened when she heard me say those words. "I will, however, never forget how you treated me with such animosity. Until today, you have not shown me that you even cared if I lived or died. I'm sure that if Sam had not interfered, you would not have spoken to me a single time in the last year."

"Monte, baby, honey, you know that I love you and I always have. I was just so hurt..."

"Tell me, Leanne; put yourself in my place for just a few moments. Now stop and think this through carefully. I've left you without a word. You have no way to contact me. The few times we do meet, I show you no love in any way. I cut you out of my life and left you to flounder on your own. You spend endless days and worse nights wondering what went wrong."

"Then, I come back into your life and in fifteen minutes I want you to forgive all? So tell me just exactly how I am feeling right now. What do I do the next time? The next time you get pissed at me for real or imaginary sins. How do I live like that? How do I live waiting for the next shoe to drop?"

I paused for a moment. I could see Leanne starting to shrink into herself. The words I was speaking seemed to be hammering her. I couldn't help myself and I could not stop.

"So just exactly what have you been up to for the last year? A new job I'm sure. You are dressing much nicer than I remember. I can't help but notice that you have a different hair cut. Your hem is a bit shorter and you are showing more cleavage now. I wonder what has happened in the last year. New job, new look, maybe a new boyfriend or two?"

"Monte, "she gasped, "I haven't been with anyone since I left. I swear; you have to believe me!"

"Hmmmm, I have to believe you? Why? Well I guess that based on your actions over the past year, I realize that you would never treat me with any disrespect. That would be pretty forgiving of me, don't you think? Tell you what I would like to do. How would you like to take a lie detector test for me? Now that would really help me. It would tell me that you have not been lying to me. That would tell me that finally you are telling the truth."

"Don't you believe me?" Her eyes were pleading with me. Tears were tracking down her face and ruining her make-up. Her hands were clasped to her breast.

I looked at her and I could see the fear. "Nope! I don't believe you and without a lie detector test, you might as well just give up, because this marriage is toast. This was all just too easy for you. I know all the things that I've suffered because of you. When I look in the mirror, I can see it in my face. I have had to change so much just to survive. One thing I had to do was learn to live without you. Guess what? I did it. I can and I have learned to do so."

"It was hard. Learning to live without you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I would not survive if I had to go through it again. When I look at you, I don't see anything like that. In fact, you look better now than a year ago. Why is that? I'll tell you what I think. I believe that you took advantage of me. You took this as an opportunity to see what it was like out there without me."

"I'm guessing that all this time, I have been your safety belt. All this time, you believed that if things didn't go right, you had me there in the background to come back home to. That is why you kept where you were living and working a secret. You only told Sam your phone number, nothing else."

I turned to Doctor Loretta, "Doc, I'm not going to ask my wife to answer any of that, OK? I'm so tired I can hardly function. Call my lawyer if Leanne decides to take the test. If not, then notify the judge that there is no reason to continue the counseling sessions."

I rose and glancing quickly at both of them, walked out of the room. I managed to get about four blocks before I had to pull over. I was crying and shaking so hard that I could hardly breathe. I was sure that this was the final act in my marriage.

Chapter 5

The next day found me in Sarah's office. I had just finished bringing her up to date. Asking for the lie detector test for Leanne was the final step in her plan. Sarah agreed with me that it was highly unlikely that Leanne would agree to take the test. "Just in case, I've worked up some questions for Leanne. Monte, I want you to take these and look them over. I don't think that they will prove much one way or the other when she left to sow some pollen. I do believe that they will show if she did date and maybe even show if she was naughty or not."

The questions had to be the type that would be answered with either a yes or no. It was a progression of questions that worked up to and including whether she had been unfaithful. It looked pretty simple to me, but I felt that it was all an exercise in futility. She would do the same as last time. She would not want to disclose her behavior while separated from me, so she would elect not to take the test. Also she would not continue the counseling sessions. Of this I was sure.

Monday, I showed up for work on time, ready to start the life I planned to live post-divorce. I figured the divorce was now a slam dunk. This is the first day of the rest of my life and I plan to live it to the fullest. I will get out there and start meeting and dating eligible ladies. I have kept up my workouts at the gym and was close to being in the best condition of my life. I was beginning to be excited about my new life. Sam would still be an important part of my life. My soon-to-be ex-wife would not.

I spoke with Loretta and she told me that she had recommended to the judge that the session cease, if Leanne failed to take the lie detector test. I then spoke with Sarah as well. She was going to wait a week and if she had not heard from my wife, she would request the courts continue with divorce proceedings. Everything was all in place, only waiting for Leanne or the passing of the week.

Guess what? I had my first date since I married. Her name was Sandra and we met at My Place. I bought her a drink and we talked. We talked for a couple of hours and then I asked her for a date. It was a simple date. I figured that I needed to take baby steps. We went to dinner and then dancing. We had a blast. I had not had so much fun in ages. We finished the night on her door step. We kissed for a few minutes and then as she went into her apartment, she whispered, "Call me!"

The next day at work I was on cloud nine. Everyone at work could see it. Many commented on how happy I seemed. My secretary, Paula, could not stop kidding me throughout the day. And that was how the rest of my week went. I was happy and content. Finally, I felt that things were going my way. I had begun to make plans to sell the house and move into a condo. I began thinking maybe I would update my wardrobe and perhaps I could start looking at a reasonably priced sports car.

Friday came and there was still no word from Leanne. That didn't surprise me one bit. I heard nothing from either Sarah or Loretta. Sam called me to check up and see how I was holding up. She was a little surprised to hear how well I was taking all the turmoil. I told her that I was going to have a small gathering of some friends this weekend and invited her to come over and join us.

Saturday afternoon, I was standing by my BBQ pit with a beer in my hand. I had invited a few people from work. Sarah had joined us and surprisingly, Loretta came as well. We all had a great time. We chatted and laughed and I managed to mingle with everyone. It was a success and I ended the day content and just a bit tired. I had taken just another baby step in my deliverance into the single life.

So there I sat in my office on a great Monday. I usually didn't care for Monday's because it was the day that always screwed up a good weekend. But on that day I didn't care that it was Monday. I felt that I was on top of the world because I was sure that my wonderful lawyer would be able to convince the judge to allow my divorce petition to move forward towards its final moments.

All my staff could tell that I was in a good mood. I smiled at everyone and said a hearty "Good Morning!" to each and every person. Men make plans and the gods laugh. Just then my secretary told me that my lawyer was on the line. I swooped grandly into my office to hear the good news.

"Monte, she did it. I just can't believe that she did it!" Sarah was practically gasping for air as she spoke.

"Please calm down Sarah. Who is she and what did she do?"

"Your wife has agreed to take the lie detector test. Hell, I would have bet good money she would never agree to the test. Now I have to scramble around and find someone to administer our questions. I'm sorry that I was caught short on this one."

I could hear the exasperation in her voice. I had to agree with her completely. I was stunned by her announcement. "She can't do that now. I thought that Friday was the deadline. She is too late now. You get on the phone right now and tell that judge that I want the divorce to proceed without further delay."

"I'm sorry but she was not too late. She told the court late Friday that she would take the test. We have no reason to ask the court for anything since she has met our demands. Again, I'm so sorry. I was just so sure and I feel that I've let you down."

I took a deep breath and slowly counted several measures. "So we have no choice. She gets her test and we just have to deal with yet another delay. How soon do you think that you can set it up?"

"It might take a few days. Maybe I can call in a favor or two to expedite things. I'll just have to let you know when it will happen."

I gave Sarah a curt goodbye and fell back in my chair. I was still having some trouble believing that Leanne was willing to take the test. I knew for a fact that she had been afraid when we first broached the idea. I finally realized that I had no choice now. I would just have to wait and see what the results turned out to be. With a sigh, I turned back to my desk and the work that was waiting for me.

The next afternoon, Sarah called to let me know that the test had been scheduled for the following Thursday and that Leanne had been notified. She had agreed to the time and date. We would probably not have the results before Monday. The frustration of too much time passing was really beginning to wear me down. I wanted all the crap that I had endured for the last year to come to an end. I wanted to start living the rest of my life.

I couldn't help myself. I was on pins and needles just waiting for the results of the infamous test. I was at the point where I didn't care what the results turned out to be. In my mind, there was no issue about my wife's conduct. It no longer was of any concern to me. I kept coming back to the simple fact that I wanted my release from this prison of a marriage that I had endured for the last year.

Finally Monday again arrived. All parties agreed to meet at 3:30 pm in Sarah's office. There would be Sarah, Loretta, Leanne and me. We would go over the questions asked and the results for each one. There would only be one of three answers to the truthfulness of Leanne's responses. There would be true, false or inconclusive.

I tried to be there exactly on time, but still managed to be almost 20 minutes early. "Oh well, it is what it is." That had become my mantra over the last several months. I stalled for several minutes, but finally entered Sarah's outer office and found to my surprise that everyone was already present.

Leanne looked carefully at me trying to judge my mood. I guess I didn't look too threatening as she greeted me. "Hello Monty, it's nice to see you." I answered with a grunt as I looked towards my lawyer's receptionist. She gave me a slight nod and I strode purposefully past everyone into Sarah's office.

Sarah looked up from her desk, "Hi Monty." She waved a sealed envelope at me and continued, "Here are the results from the lie detector test. Leanne has requested that we open the envelope in the presence of all concerned. So if you are ready, we will adjourn to the conference room." I simply nodded and turned to leave with Sarah coming behind me.

After we all trooped into the conference room and took our seats, everyone turned to Sarah and the envelope that was prominent before her. Suddenly, I wasn't so sure that I wanted to hear what was in that envelope. For one brief moment, I just wanted my old life with my wife back. I yearned for that time before all the shit that I had endured for the last year. The moment passed, but I was still shaken by the intensity of my emotions.

"Sarah, before you open that envelope, I have some things to say." Leanne continued, "I have a lot of things that I need to address that all concern what I feel to have been the absolute worst year of my life. Only Loretta has any idea of what I want, no, what I need to say to you, my husband."

I'm sure that my face reflected the same surprised and stunned look, as we all turned and looked at Loretta.

Loretta gave us a small smile saying, "Sorry to surprise all of you like this. Leanne made me make her a promise that I would keep secret the fact that I have been counseling her for the last three months. I am confident to say that she has made some impressive strides in her treatment, especially after we managed to get her hormones under control and following that we then were able to treat her for the deep depression she had been suffering for possibly as long as two or three years."

Holding up her hand, Leanne interrupted, "My hormones and depression, while indeed are a fact of my life, are not an excuse for my behavior towards my husband and daughter."

"Monte, I don't need to see the results of my test in that envelope." Nodding towards Sarah, she continued, "No one has to tell me the results of that test. I know better than anyone what my actions have been for the last year. You can read the contents at anytime that you would wish. I guess that now I can reveal that I've been seeing Loretta weekly for the last few months."

Leanne looked me fully in the eyes and for the first time in months, I saw no anger directed toward me. Her look was open and surprisingly guileless. I could feel my heart start to beat a little faster. I really hated surprises and I had no trust in what she was about to say.

Leanne leaned towards me from across the table. I could see her breasts rise as she took a breath.

"Monte", she began, "I have spent the last year of my life in a hell of my own making. The unfortunate and unforgivable reality is that I have forced most of the same hell on you and our daughter. I didn't know then when I left our home for the workplace it was the first step in leaving you and our marriage."

I started to say something and she quickly held up her hand. "Please let me finish. I have been trying to figure out how to tell you what I have gone through and somehow explain how we all ended up in this room."

I settled back in my chair and waved for her to continue. I was afraid at this point to utter a word and I didn't understand why I was afraid to speak.

"I was so happy to have found a job and I was happy to be out of our house that had become so empty when Sam left. What I was afraid to admit even to myself, was that I was happy to be away from you, my husband. With Sam gone, I began to have very strong feelings of anger towards you. I blamed you for anything and everything."

"At work, I found what I thought then to be two kindred spirits in Carol and June. It wasn't long before I was sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings. The more unhappy I became at home, the happier I was at work with my friends. I had never met people like the two of them. I was unprepared for their deceit and lies. It was as though we all fed from the fire of my discontent. I would express any minor complaint about Monte and they would stoke the flames and then feed it right back to me. It was a vicious circle that only kept getting hotter and more out of control each day."

"I finally reached the breaking point the day that you tried to talk with me. I was convinced that all you wanted was for me to be back in that lonely home and under your total control. Loretta has helped me see that it was me all along. I wanted out of the home we shared together and I wanted to be away from you. I couldn't stand the thought of dealing with you any longer. Since Sam ended up taking your side, eventually I wanted to be away from her as well."

"I shut you and Sam out of my life completely." A pensive look came over Leanne's face and I could see that her eyes had started to glisten. "Monte, this is going to be so hard for you to believe. With all my anger and the obvious fact that I abandoned you and our daughter, I never once stopped loving you and her. It's tragic and yet laughable also that I have never wanted our marriage to end."

When Leanne uttered those completely ridiculous words, I erupted from my chair. "That is just so much bullshit." My rage and my words hurtled towards her through my clenched teeth. I turned to Loretta seeking help, because I felt my sanity start to slip just a bit.

Calmly, Loretta placed her hand on my arm, "Monte please sit back down and try to calm down." Slowly and with obvious reluctance, I sank back into my chair. "Now take a few deep breaths and let them out slowly". It took a few minutes and somehow she was able to help me restore my natural breathing and my heart stopped hammering on the walls of my chest.

The consternation on my wife's face was painful to see. There was pain, guilt and remorse in plain sight for all to see. "Please Monte, if you ever loved me then grant me this last wish. Let me finish what I have to say and then I'll let you have what you have fought so hard to get. I will sign the divorce papers before I leave this room."

I looked at Sarah and then to Loretta. As they each in turn gave a nod of approval, I sighed. "Alright", I growled, "get on with it and I'll try to restrain myself."

"It awes me", Leanne continued, "in looking back over the last several month, how hard you tried to make me see the reality of my supposed friendship with Carol and June. I believe that you were trying to get me back and I am stunned at how hard I fought you step by step. Every time you would point out the truth, I would refuse to accept it. You fought so hard to save us and our marriage and I fought so hard to prevent you from succeeding."

"I know that the lie detector test will show that I did date for a period after I left you. It will also show that I was not entirely faithful to our marriage vows. Of course I could always say that I know you dated some as well. But then I have to remind myself that I left you, not the other way around. I can say honestly that I never slept with anyone. I just was never able to take that last step in destroying our life together."

"Even when you finally proved that Carol and June were not my friends and that they had lied to me all along, so that they could prove what a bad husband you were. Even then, it took something extraordinary to make me begin to see the truth."

"I was at work when Loretta charged into my office. Imagine my surprise since I did not know that anyone knew where I was working. She slammed the door and locked it. Then she pulled a chair over in front of it and plopped down. It was a given that she had no plans to move. I glared at her and she glared right back at me. Then all hell broke loose."

"For over two hours, we argued and screamed and cursed." Leanne smiled at Loretta, "I never expected a professional like her to have such a spectacular command of the four letter language. She wore me down. At the end, I simply broke. I started crying and then sobbing and somehow I found myself in her arms. She comforted me until I became calm again. When I asked her what I could do to fix my life, she simply handed me her card and told me that my scheduled appointment was written on the reverse."

"Leaving you was so hard and trying to live with all the anger and stress just about killed me. All of that was still not as difficult as the last few months in my sessions with Loretta. With her help and much hard work on my part, I began to put my life back together. I have begun to meet regularly with Sam and we have started the healing process. My doctor, again with help from Loretta, has finally found a medical combination that got my hormones and depression under control."

"So after all this time and after all the pain, I find myself sitting in front of you again. I know that you are very angry with me. I do not know if you still have any love left for me. I am sure that the marriage we had is dead." Tears were now streaming down Leanne's face and her makeup was destroyed. "Monte, I'm so sorry for all the pain that I caused. I try every day to understand your feelings but I'm sure that I will never be able to completely feel your pain."

"I will spend the rest of my life with my own pain. Loretta has helped me realize that I need to let you go. I need to get on with my life but I promise you this here and now, I will spend each day trying to become a better person, a person that maybe someday you would like to know."

Sarah slid the papers across the table and Leanne quickly signed them without reading. Both she and Loretta moved around the table and gave her a group hug. Without looking at me, Leanne moved towards the door. All I could see was her moving away from me and my heart simply broke.

She paused with her hand on the door knob, "I have put you through hell for a year. Looking back it does not seem that so much time has passed. I still love you with all my heart. Somehow a year seems to stick in my mind." She gave me a lopsided smile, "So in one year, Monte, in one year, if you have managed to get passed my actions and maybe forgive me just a little, I plan on ringing your doorbell. If I find that you are not attached or in a relationship, I plan to start my courtship of you. If, at that time, you still have any feelings for me, then lookout buster because I will be putting a full court press to win you back."

With those final words, Leanne walked out of my life for the second time. It was what I wanted. It was what I had fought for these last few months. Yet, the old phrase ‘be careful what you ask for because you just might get it' stuck in my mind.

I hated what Leanne had done to us and our marriage. I hated the harsh way she had treated me and Sam for so long. I hated so many things about the last year. However when all was said and done, I eventually came to realize that I did not hate Leanne. I still loved her even now. I simply could no longer live with her.

Chapter 6

So life goes on. I continued to put one foot in front of the other. I continued to do my work better and better and before long I received another promotion. I finally reached my goal of many years and became Vice President of Operations for our company.

Sarah was no longer my lawyer, but she became my friend. We spent many enjoyable hours together as time continued to pass on. We realized early on that friends are what we were and never took the final step to become lovers or more.

Loretta also stayed in touch with me. We never became as close as Sarah and I, but we still spoke and saw each other with some frequency. She did manage to slip up, probably on purpose, and let me know that she was still seeing Leanne professionally and providing her with therapy and counseling.

Now that my marriage was defunct and Leanne and I were no longer conducting World War Three, Sam and I became closer. I was grateful that our ‘father-daughter' relationship had survived unscathed.

We sold the house and with only some minor haggling, Leanne and I split all our finances. I moved into a spacious condo. I spent most of my free time with my friends and daughter and yet managed to continue a very good exercise regimen.

So after so many months, I was finally content with my life. I was single and I did date on occasion. I did not, however, become a bar hound who cruised the town looking to ‘get lucky'. In fact, I could say that my life after Leanne had become somewhat anti-climatic.

I was sitting on my balcony, enjoying the view and a good drink while looking over the park outside my condo when the damn doorbell starting ringing. My first inclination was to simply ignore my caller. I found in my relaxed state that the noise was extremely irritating. "Damn it", I muttered, "Who could that be?"

Anyone who wanted to see me almost always called ahead first. That made the mystery ringer even more annoying. I was beginning to really resent this intrusion. Unbelievably, the damned bell continued to ring.

Giving up, I threw myself out of my lounge and stalked towards my front door. Muttering and cursing, I threw the deadbolt and quickly swing the door open I snarled, "Who are you and just what in the hell do you want?"

When I finally focused on my unwelcomed visitor, my jaw dropped and my mind went completely blank. "Wha....?" There in my doorway stood Leanne. My simple brain managed to identify her and then my ‘male' brain instantly noted that this was a Leanne that was even more attractive that I remembered.

With a sultry smile Leanne said, "Hello Monte, long time no see." Even though I had stood blocking the doorway, she managed to push past me into the condo. I couldn't take my eyes off her and I was unable to utter a coherent sentence. She looked at the drink in my hand, "I'll take one of those. Fix me a drink and let's sit out on your balcony and enjoy a little company to go with the view."

Operating strictly on auto-pilot, I managed to fix her a drink and refresh mine. Giving Leanne her drink, I sank slowly back to my lounger. Finally regaining some control of my senses, I realized that at this point, saying nothing was the smartest course of action.

For over thirty minutes, we sat there quietly enjoying the view and our drinks. I got up once more, again without saying a word, and refreshed our drinks. Finally Leanne turned to me and said "Well, aren't you going to say anything?"

"You are still an amazingly beautiful woman." Again, I lapsed back into silence.

"That's it?" She queried.

"It's been a year, hasn't it?"

She laughed, "You are still as quick as ever. Yes it has been a year and my sources, which I refuse to name, ensure me that you are not in a relationship at this time. I'm here now and I want to get to know you again."

"I'm not saying this to be mean", I spoke in a low tone of voice, "but once I got past the divorce I have had a good year. I've learned a lot about myself. I'm not the easy push over I was back then. I have become used to having things my way. Are you sure that I'm the kind of guy you are looking for?"

"I'm sure that I'm not the same woman I was back then either. You say that you are not as easy going now and I've learned to become more relaxed about things in my life. You never know, we may be a better fit now than we ever were then. I know that I've spent the last year waiting for a chance to find out."

Silence again reigned on my balcony. It was several more minutes before I spoke, "I learned to live without you, but I never learned to stop missing you."

"Would you like to take me out this coming Friday?" Leanne looked at me and her face reflected her hope.

"I'll pick you up at seven and we will eat at this little bistro I found out on the west side. Then, I think we may go for a drink and even do some dancing. Does that work for you?"

Leanne gave me a brilliant smile and leaned over to give me a soft sweet kiss on the cheek. "I'll be ready!"

We went out that Friday and had a great time. After that we began dating once or twice a week. We took it slow and spent many an evening just getting to know one another again. We didn't have sex for the first three months, but it was just like riding a bicycle. You just never forget how. We became friends and then lovers. We were deliberate, yet occasionally spontaneous.

I knew we were a couple when I started looking for her to be by my side and mildly upset if I found her not there.

So here I am looking at my ex-wife being escorted down the aisle in a small chapel in Vegas. It took us three years to get here. One year to break apart, one year to learn to live apart and the final year to learn to live and love each other again. This time, I have no doubts we will definitely grow old together.

The End