A Man In Turmoil
written by:
DG Hear

A Man in Turmoil By DG Hear

I'm Jerry Jones. I'm twenty-six years old and work for an insurance agency owned by my girlfriend's father. Jennifer or Jen as I call her is twenty-four and a really good looking woman.

I have been working for Ben Wilkinson for three years now. He hired me fresh out of college. I have taken all the state insurance exams and am licensed to sell any type of insurance. I even took the Life Underwriters training course, (LUTC) and the CLU certified course as well as other courses that were offered. I wanted to be the best in my chosen field and worked hard to achieve it.

For the last two years I have been his best selling agent. We have eight agents in all in our office. According to my clients, I'm considered trustworthy and honest. I always try and do what is best for my clients. I found out a long time ago that if you take care of your customers, the finances will take care of themselves.

Some agents just looked at the commission and sold the policies that made them the most money. I was brought up to try and do the right thing.

I've sowed my wild oats in college and have been thinking about finding the right woman, settling down and starting a family. My mom always asked me when I was going to settle down, I was an only child. I've dated a few women in the last couple of years but even though the sex was good I didn't love them. Also, so many women are divorced out there and I really wasn't interested in a ready-made family.

Last year Jen came to work for her dad. She was a beautiful big busted woman and very easy on the eyes. Most every guy in the office probably had wet dreams about her. She had the looks and knew it, very sexy but yet had a really nice personality. I did think she flirted a little to much.

I guess one problem was she was daddy's little girl. Most men were afraid of Ben and some were married and already divorced, but I just saw him as the boss and did my job. I began talking with Jen and we became good friends at first. We talked a lot but she was still a little on the wild side for me. I'm not saying that was bad but I saw life a little differently.

We began dating and went to the finest of restaurants. After our second date we went to my place and had sex - no, it was more than that. I would say it was more of making love.

She spent the night and our kisses were passionate, we each did everything we could to ensure that the other would climax. I went as far as eating her pussy to a second climax after coming in her. I have never before eaten a woman after having sex with her. I wanted her to know I was interested in a long term commitment.

My feelings for Jen were strong. I thought was falling in love with her and she with me. I loved my job but knowing I could see her every morning before going out in the field made it that much better.

Even though we weren't engaged most people knew we were a couple. Jen still flirted a little but it was just part of her personality. The flirting wasn't overly sexual; she did make men feel good just talking to them. I had to admit I was a little jealous but she wasn't really doing anything wrong.

We still had our own lives and did the things we liked to do but still did many things together. I was somewhat of an outdoors man and like to golf and fish. Jen loved to ride on the boat but wasn't much into fishing.

Talking about a woman that looked good in a bathing suit, it was Jen. She attracted attention wherever we went. I have to admit I loved the way she looked and at first I loved it when men found out she was with me. After a while it began to bother me that other men would so often stare at her. She on the other hand loved the attention.

I had to wonder if we ever got married would I be going through life wondering if she would be faithful to me. I had very strong feeling for her but I've seen too many marriages fall apart because one spouse or the other began cheating.

It always starts as something innocent like a kiss under a mistletoe or swimming with friends. I guess I've seen too many of my friends and family break up and it bothered me so much that I wondered if I would ever take the plunge and get married.

Jen would often tell me how much she loved me and wanted to be with me. Deep in the back of my mind I had these doubts. Could we actually make a marriage work? Old Ben, her dad liked me and often told me that I could eventually become a partner. Jen was his only daughter and he knew she cared for me.

One day after a wonderful dinner and a night of dancing, I asked her to marry me. She said yes and we went to my condo and made love for hours. God, she was such a hot woman.

The next day I told my parents about us getting married and on Monday we went in to break the news to Ben. Everyone was so happy, well everyone except me. Deep down I still had doubts but I acted excited. I wanted to marry her more than anything but we thought so differently on some things in life.

We had many talks about our pasts before deciding to get married. I wanted our past life out in the open, not something we had to hide from one another the rest of our lives. I didn't want to hear some man in a restroom telling me what a good fuck my wife was in college.

I went first. I told Jen that I dated a lot and had sex with most of them. They were mostly party girls. I had only really cared for one girl but it didn‘t work out. I sowed my wild oats and wanted to settle down now and have a family. I've never been arrested but did catch the clap a few years ago.

I told her how much I loved her but I could never stay with a woman if I ever found her cheating on me. I promised her I would be faithful to her. I wanted to make our marriage work. I felt we shouldn't have secrets and I wanted to put my cards on the table before we would become engaged.

It was now Jen's turn. "Jerry, I love you with all my heart and soul. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you. Are you sure you need to hear about my past experiences? It could end our relationship."

"If you aren't able to talk to me about your past, how will it affect our life in the future? I understand you went to a liberal college and probably did things you aren't proud of but we need to discuss it. We need to understand and trust each other. Jen, Honey, I understand it's the past and I can live with that."

Jen continued, " I was young and always knew I was good looking, always had the biggest boobs in class. I wasn't as wild as you may think. I flirted a lot but have only been with a few guys. Usually I was at a party and drank a little too much and well, nature took its course. I dated a couple of guys but wasn't real serious about them. One time in college they had a wet t-shirt contest."

"I had drunk probably more than I should and was convinced to enter it. I won first prize. I can't say it was wrong or that I didn't like it. It was a contest and I came in first place. I never told my dad, he's old school and don't think he would have approved, even though I won."

"Any other surprises you want to tell me before we agree to get married? Jen, this is our past not who we are today. We've grown up and have fallen in love. I don't want a ghost popping up from the past that could possibly ruin our marriage because either of us didn't know about it."

"Jerry, I'm not sure I can tell you this, it's not like the wet t-shirt contest. It's not something I'm proud of."

"Honey, I love you and will do my best to understand, we don't need to mention names, in fact I would prefer we didn't unless it's someone I would have to see regularly. Most all the women I have been with aren't anywhere around here so our chances of seeing them is rather nil. If we should ever see someone I've been intimate with, I'll tell you. I won't keep secrets from you."

"Ok, Jerry, this could be the one that breaks us apart. I do want you to know I'm truly sorry for these two days out of my life. I can't change it and will never forget it. It happened in my junior year of college. Three of my girlfriends and I took a three day cruise during spring break."

"The ship landed in the Bahamas in we wanted to go to the beach. They had two of them, one a regular beach and around the bend was a nude beach only. The other girls voted to go to the nude beach since we didn't know anyone and thought it would be exciting. I decided why not, I had the body for it."

"It was odd seeing everyone naked. We had to check in our clothes on our way in. They had chairs, blankets and umbrellas for the guests. They even had a mini bar set up and waiters came around for drink orders. They would just charge it to your cruise boat room."

"A lot of men came by and talked to us. It was exciting and seeing they were all nude it was easy to do some comparisons. I can honestly say, not all men are created equal."

"I knew we were drinking way too much. Many of the men sat with us and talked. We all knew it was going to happen. We were far away from home, nobody would ever know. We were going to have sex with these black men. Yes Jerry they were black."

Jen stopped for a second and I looked down. I loved her but how would I deal with this. I wasn't brought up with interracial sex. Sure I knew it happened a lot, it's just that I was never a part of it.

Jen looked sad or maybe it was mad as she told her story. "They took us to their tent set up further down the beach. This one big black man took me in his arms and kissed me. I was used to a little bit of love and tenderness but I didn't get that."

"He made foul remarks about my tits and squeezed them till they began to hurt and bruise. I asked him to be gentle and he laughed at me. He had me spread my legs and without any foreplay stuck his big black cock in me. He didn't care about me, he just wanted to fuck another dumb white woman."

"God, I'm so sorry Jen. What about your friends? How did they react?"

"One felt about the way I did. The other two laughed it off and said it was just another fuck. We knew we couldn't say anything. We went willingly to their tents and besides they lived on the island and we knew we wouldn‘t ever see them again."

"We stayed on the ship the next day and just hung out in the pool area and even saw a movie. We did talk about the black men and were surprised to have always heard how hung they all are. These four had nothing special going for them except how black their cocks were."

"Anyway, we all got over it and figured it was just one of life's experiences. One I wouldn't care to repeat. So Jerry, are we still engaged or going our separate ways?" She said it very softly and tenderly. I could tell it was hard for her to tell me about the nude experience.

"I'm going to leave it up to you. I have one more story to tell you and I'm not proud of it. It's the worst thing I have ever done. I have never told anyone, not even my parents. In my junior year I was going with a girl named Brenda. She was one girl I had strong feelings for. We dated and in one night of passion she got pregnant. When she told me I told her I couldn't get married. I was just trying to get my life in order."

"We talked and argued about it over and over. I might have really loved her but our life was just beginning. I gave her four-thousand dollars to get an abortion. She agreed it would be best. It was time for summer vacation and I told her I would be there for her and to call me. I never got the call."

"The following year she never returned to our school. I felt bad because I did care for her. I tried to get hold of her with whatever numbers I had but never located her. I just hope her life turned out to be a happy one."

"Oh, Jerry, I'm so sorry. I believe you did the right thing."

"Did I? Jen I want a wife and family and I had my own child aborted." I sat and cried for a few minutes.

"Well, I guess we both opened up the ghost closets. Are we going to stay together?" asked Jen.

"As long as our pasts aren't repeated, I have no problem going on and having you as my wife." We kissed and Jen started planning our wedding.

Life was going good for us. Sales were fine, my future father in law and I got along almost as father and son. I saw Jen every day, and we were actually talking about moving in together. It was one of those things I wasn't quite sure about yet and wasn't sure how her father might react. He was even more old school than I was.

Our lives went on during the wedding planning stages. My parents liked Jen and thought we would make a nice couple. At times I did have to wonder if my parents were just saying that because they wanted me to settle down and give them grandchildren.

I golfed and went to the local Elks club where I belonged. You pick up a lot of leads when you belong to organizations. Jen had her girl friends and they went out shopping, to movies and sometimes even a girl's night out. She promised me that they would never pick up men. Her girlfriends were all married and I knew their husbands.

I honestly had no reason not to trust her. Our whole relationship was built on trust and communication. That was why our earlier talk about our pasts meant so much.

Sometimes we would get together with friends for a yard party or other occasion. There was always flirting going on among friends but it was all mostly talk. All the women in our group had great bodies. When we went swimming it was hard to keep your eyes off the women.

I honestly have to say that I didn't know if any of the women cheated on their husbands. A couple of the guys I wasn't sure of but if they did they did it secretly. They would also be stupid to cheat in their marriage. All the women were very sexy and very nice.

I later gave it some thought and found it odd that most of our friends were all old friends of Jen's. She had introduced me to all of them. Two of her girlfriends went to the same college as her. I had to wonder if either of them went on the cruise with Jen. We never mentioned names. It was just a thought that entered my head.

I don't know who brought it up but someone said we ought to all go on a cruise together. The first thought in my mind was what Jen had told me. It's just something you don't forget.

Bob said, "Hey, I hear that most cruises even go to a nude beach."

His wife Mary said, ‘If I find you at a nude beach checking out the women and that thing between your legs get hard, I'll cut it off." Everyone started laughing.

Joy said, "Howard and I went to a nude beach once, years ago. I have to say it was interesting but not a sexual turn on like you'd expect. I think most of the men would have looked better in clothes. Now Howard might have thought differently the way he attacked me when we got back to the room."

Jen smiled but didn't say anything about her adventure, thank God.

Terry asked Jen and I if we thought it would be fun to go on a cruise. We were the only unmarried ones.

"Well maybe after we get married. I don't think Jen's dad would think kindly of the idea until after we were married. I do believe could be fun though," I added.

Terry's husband Jim said, "I think Jen might be quite popular on a nude beach. I sure would like to be there." he laughed.

Terry hit him on the shoulder and called him a dirty old man. Jen definitely had the nicest body and largest breasts of the group.

"If we did go on a cruise, we wouldn't be going to a nude beach," I said. I'm a little too jealous to have my wife showing her body to anyone but me." I tried to say it with a smile but I really did mean it.

That was about it for that night. It's funny how things in the past seem to pop up. I'm so glad Jen and I had our talk.

We went out with our friends fairly regularly. We took turns on finding places to go. It was only two weeks before our wedding when Howard said he found a nightclub that he thought would be fun. We all got dressed up and went to Howard's place of choice.

It was a really big nightclub that would hold hundreds of people. We started off with dinner and drinks. Everything was fine until I saw a sign posted. At ten o'clock they were going to have a wet t-shirt contest. It made me think of Jen saying she won one in college.

We danced and drank but no one had brought up the contest. I have to admit that everyone probably had a little too much to drink. The manager came around and asked if anyone was interested in entering the contest. First prize was five hundred dollars, second was two hundred and third was one hundred.

Howard laughed and asked his wife Joy if she was going to enter? She blushed but said she might if any of the other wives did. She said it would be fun even if they didn't win they got the free t-shirt.

Jim asked Terry if she was going to enter. He told her she had a great set of boobs and probably had a good chance on winning.

"Jim, I wouldn't have a chance once they saw Jen's. Hell, she would win hands down." Jen was smiling from the compliment she was just paid.

"Jen's not entering the contest. I don't want her showing her tits to the world."

Jen look at me with a dagger like look. "You're not my boss and you can't tell me what I can and cannot do. We're not even married yet and already I need your permission?"

"I'm sorry Jen, I just don't what a bunch of strange men staring at your tits."

"Jerry, I hadn't planned on entering it but since you think you can tell me what to do I'm going to enter the damned contest."

I sat there not knowing what to say. I watched as Terry, Joy and Jen signed the consent form. Mary said she would have done it but she was just too old. I asked Jen to step away from the table so we could talk.

"No, as you say we have nothing to hide."

"I'm going to ask you one more time, please don't go through with this." I hoped she would change her mind but she was getting up with Joy and Terry to go get their t-shirts.

"Jen, if you go through with this damned contest, our wedding is off!" I said as a last resort.

"You wouldn't cancel a marriage because of me showing my tits!" she said as she was walking away.

"Calm down Jerry, it's not that big of a deal, the girls are just having a little fun. No one is going to be touching them and we're right here," said Howard.

"Look, I don't give a rat's ass that you don't care who your wife shows her tits to. I'm not into exhibitionism. I don't want a wife who cheats, or thinks it's ok to show her body to any Tom, Dick, or Harry. If she shows up on that stage in a t-shirt, we are through."

The guys kept quiet and drank their beer. We were waiting to see what would happen next. Howard talked to one of the servers and was told there would be fifteen women in the contest and it was just about to start. We looked up and we saw Joy, Terri and Jen all come out smiling. They all had on very thin white t-shirt and no bras. I could already see the outline of Jen's breasts.

Everyone in the lounge was cheering. I felt like I was going to throw up and left for the men's room. I washed my face with cold water. I stayed in the men's room for a good fifteen minutes. I walked out and walked to the back of the lounge and watched the contest.

My friends at the table didn't see me but seemed to be enjoying the show. I had to wonder was it was me or did the values of married people drop that much. I put it all out there and lost. There is no way I could take Jen back now. What kind of marriage would that be? She would just do what she wanted and would expect me to just take it.

The crowd was now yelling for their favorites. There were five women left on the stage. Jen was one of them. Joy and Terri were eliminated. There was another round of the final five. The t-shirts left nothing to the imagination. They might as well not have worn anything. In fact all five, including Jen took off their shirt.

Jen kept shaking her boobs and laughing. I was in the back nearly crying. The final vote came in and Jen came in second. Our friends at the table all stood up and applauded and whistled at her. It was times like this that I wonder if they might have seen her topless or nude before. They were all friends of hers before I came into the picture.

The three girls returned to our table and they were laughing. Jen put on a little show shaking her tits at them. I walked back to the table and Jen looked at me.

"I came in second. Did you get over your little hissy-fit?"

"I meant what I said. Showing your tits off to strangers meant more to you than our future marriage. We both promised that when we got engaged that we would no long do the things we did before. In fact you said you regretted it."

"Regretted what?" said Terri.

"I won a wet t-shirt in college but I never regretted it, I regretted something else that happened and it's very personal," replied Jen.

"Well, I want nothing more to do with you. Just go and show them your ass too if you haven't already. I don't care anymore. We're through!"

"You'll come crawling back. I know you," replied Jen.

"Afraid not, I don't want a slutty whore for a wife."

"I don't want a husband that kills his own kid either," she yelled out.

I couldn't believe what she had just said. She was the only person I had ever told and it was just to come clean with her on my past. I stared at her and everyone around us looked at me. I think she knew she had overstepped her bounds.

As I turned and walked out her friends were asking her all kinds of questions. I'm sure glad she never moved in with me.

She tried calling me a half dozen times on Sunday. I couldn't believe it when I finally answered it that she asked me if I was ready to apologize to her.

"You went way too far, Jen. First you show your tits to the world even though I begged you not to. Then you tell everyone a secret that I never told anyone. I don't ever want to see you again." I didn't let her say anything else.

The phone kept ringing and I finally unplugged it from the wall. I was sitting there drinking a beer when there was a knock on the door. It was Ben, Jen's dad.

"What the hell's going on Jerry? Jen said you two had an argument and you called off the wedding. I have a lot invested in this wedding. I came over to hear your side of the story. I figure we could work this thing out."

"There was a wet t-shirt contest at the lounge yesterday. Jen said she was going to compete. I told her no, that I didn't want her to do it. She said she didn't care what I want and entered it anyway."

"My Jen was in a wet t-shirt contest? Kind of hard to believe! Anyway is that bad enough to call off the wedding?" asked Ben.

"Ben, she won second place and was proud of it. Would you let your wife enter a contest like that? What kind of marriage would we have if she could run out and do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted? What kind of marriage would that be and what kind of husband would that make me?"

"Are you sure about this Jerry? Damn, I have a lot of money invested in this wedding."

"Ben, you're a good man. I'll tell you what put the icing on the cake." I went ahead and told him about me giving Brenda money for an abortion when I was in college. I told Jen in complete privacy. In front of our friends and the whole lounge, she called me a baby killer. I have been living with that mistake for three years. I truly regret it.

"I'm sorry about the wedding. Better to find out how compatible we are now than after the wedding. Tell her to keep the engagement ring. She can pawn it and give you the money toward the wedding."

"Damn, she must have been mad. I know I spoiled her and she has a temper but I didn't know she would do or say things like that. I'm truly sorry Jerry. I'll move her into another office at work so you won't have to talk to her till things calm down."

"Ben, I'm turning in my resignation. I'm sorry, I truly am. I'm taking my two week vacation that I was going to take for the honeymoon. I won't be returning to work. I'll stop by when Jen isn't there and gather my things. Just divide my accounts among the other agents. I won't be going to a competing firm. I respect you too much. I expect to be moving out of state.

Ben tried to get me to stay one more time but I told him this was for the best. He was a decent man to work for. I couldn't believe I so misjudged his daughter. After he left I plugged my phone back in. It must have rung thirty times. It was all Jen leaving messages. She started out apologizing and then each call got worse till the last one told me to go to hell. She used up all the space on my answering machine.

On Monday I called my mom and told her the wedding was off. I asked her to call all our relatives that were invited and let them know. Most of the invitations were friends and relatives of Jen's and of course Ben was a business man in the community.

I told mom that we had an argument and I found out we just weren't compatible. We both expected different things from this marriage. I also told her I quit my job. There was no way I could work for Jen's dad. Mom said she understood and she guessed it was good that we found out we weren't compatible before getting married. Mom always stood by me. I knew she was hurt.

I made a few calls to some large Insurance companies in Michigan. I went to a couple of conventions the year before and a number of people told me if I ever wanted to go into the big time to give them a call.

I called one executive who had given me his private number. He asked me why I was interested in changing positions all of a sudden. I told him the truth that I was going to marry the bosses' daughter and called it off. I thought I heard him chuckle.

He asked me if I could come in for an interview on Wednesday. One of their executives recently retired and they were looking outside the company for a replacement.

I stopped by my old office right after closing time on Monday. The guard knew me and said that Ben had said I might be coming in. He said he would have to stay with me while I gathered my personal things.

I had two boxes and took my personal stuff. I left the customer files just like I said I would. I gathered my awards and even a copy of my original resume. Hopefully all I would have to do is update it.

I got home and the phone started ringing again. I had cleared all the messages from the day before. The first two calls were from Jen but she didn't leave a message. The next call was from John at Allied Insurance.

I answered it, "Hello."

"Jerry, this is John Webber from Allied. I thought I'd save you a little time making up a resume. We talked with your former employer and he said he tried everything to get you to stay. We didn't discuss why you were leaving. He sent us your sales record. You've been the top person in sales three years running. That is very impressive! He had nothing but good things to say about you."

"Thank you, do you still want me there Wednesday."

"Yes of course. I talked to a couple of the members of the board and they will have the final say. I'm pretty sure you're a shoo- in but we still have to go through channels. They'll ask you questions and have a short meeting. You'll know in a couple of hours after that if you got the position. See you Wednesday."

I just lived in an apartment. I called my mom and told her about the interview. I asked her to keep an eye on the apartment for me and not to give Jen my new cell phone number if she should talk to her.

The calls finally stopped. I figured that Jen had finally realized I was dead serious and we weren't going to be a couple. She had her good points and of course the bad ones which I recently found out. What did surprise me was that none of my so called friends even called to see how I was doing.

I knew I shouldn't think of it but I had to wonder if they had their own little sex club and were priming me to join. It seemed odd that none of the other guys cared that their wives showed off their near naked bodies. I didn't think I could live like that.

****

I got the job and was to start the following week. It was a little different than what I was doing but they gave me a hefty raise. It was sad saying goodbye to mom and dad but I had been away before for college. I promised I'd keep in touch with them regularly and be home for holidays. I told dad as soon as I found an apartment I'd come after my belongings.

John explained my position. He explained to me that I would still be in sales but I wouldn't have to go out and canvass for business. They had a lot of walk in business and needed a qualified agent to help these people with their needs. There may be times when I might have to go to their homes to speak with spouses or to check locations.

"Jerry, we are a big well known company and spend a lot of money on advertising. People come in and believe me, they have plenty of questions. We aren't just out to sell a policy but to give the customer what they need."

"The insurance industry has taken a lot of negative hits in the past and we are trying to change that image. We have heard that you put the customer first. That's what we expect from you."

I was lucky I didn't have to retake the state insurance exams. Michigan accepted my Ohio tests results. It saved me quite a bit of time and I could start helping people immediately. I was staying at a local motel for a week. I spent my days working, it was really busy and I spent my evening looking for an apartment fairly close to the office.

I finally found a nice place in Dearborn. It was only about two miles from the office and I could even take a bus if I wanted to, but I didn't. I went home the following Friday and rented a U-haul and loaded up my things. Only my dad helped me. It seemed I lost most of my so called friends.

It was nice to know it was only a three hour drive from my parents to my apartment. It made my mom happy that she might see me regularly.

I loved my new job but I still had a lot to learn. Every company has different types of policies and I had to know exactly what I was selling people. Some clients I would ask to bring in their present policies so I could actually see what they were getting for their money. It's always nice to compare apples to apples.

There were very few cases where we couldn't help the customer out. Our company sold all types of insurance, annuities, and even bonds for those who might have had bad driving records. I took the time to help each individual out. Most people thanked me for taking the time to explain their policies to them.

I usually had lunch with other members of the company. Sometimes we talked business and other times we all just got to know each other. Most of the women who worked in my area were married. I almost felt like asking them if they would enter a wet t-shirt contest. It still worried me wondering how people were acting today. I needed to get over it.

Some of the men I worked with were like men everywhere. Complain about the wife but can't live without them. I never told anyone why I never got married, just told them we didn't see marriage the same way.

I was introduced to a couple of women and did go out for dinner. They were nice but I just wasn't ready to date. I buried myself in my work and after my first two months John told me that the company's sales numbers had gone up considerably. He asked if there was anything I needed.

"To be honest John, my secretary June has had a lot more work put on her. We've both stayed over a couple of evenings a week so we wouldn't get behind on our paperwork. I know I'm new here but it seems that if June had more help, things would flow much better."

"What do you suggest, Jerry?"

"I was wondering if we could hire an additional secretary. The only difference is she could also be a licensed agent, at least for the insurance part of our business. That way if I wasn't here or with another client she would be able to witness policies and I think business would flow much better."

"What if June was licensed?" asked John.

"I asked her and she said she really wasn't interested in being an agent but loves her job as a receptionist and secretary. She's in her late fifties and I don't think she really wants major changes in her life. It's just right now she is backlogged with paperwork and computer work."

"Let me talk with the board and see what they think of your suggestion. Your performance here has turned quite a few heads. I am happy to see it all working out for you."

John never took long to call a board meeting. It was only two days later he asked to see June and I over lunch. He said he had met with the board and we could hire a full time agent.

"June, I'm sorry we piled so much extra work on you. I guess we didn't realize the increase in sales would give you so much extra to do," said John. He had known June for over twenty-five years and knew she was a definite asset to the business.

"Jerry, I don't want to come out chauvinistic with what I'm about to say but the board thought it would be best if we hired a woman for this position. When clients come in we like for them to see a friendly, pretty face like June." It brought a smile to June's face.

"You would have to see that she gets licensed and it will be June's job to show her the computer and paperwork side of the business. I'll leave it up to you and June to find this person since it will be you two working with her. June, do you have anything to say?" asked John.

"No, just a big ‘Thank You'. Jerry is a good boss and a great salesman as you know. We'll do our best to find the best person for the position."

I decided to let June find the prospective agent. I told her I would stay over evenings and work on our paperwork. The sooner she found the right person, the easier it would be on all of us.

Instead of advertising the job, which would give us hundreds of applicants to interview, June had a good friend that worked in an employment agency. She gave her an idea of the type of person we were looking for and what would be expected of her. She came in my office and said she had sixteen people for us to interview.

Three were men, we didn't want to get in any kind of trouble by being gender biased and besides, maybe we might find a man that the board would approve.

I just glanced through the resumes. One name popped out at me, Brenda Wilson. I was taken back wondering if it was my old girlfriend. I glanced quickly where she graduated from and it was Michigan State. It was two years after I had graduated from Ohio State.

Wilson was a pretty common name just like mine was Jerry Jones. I'm sure the Detroit telephone book would be full of them. I asked June if she knew any of the applicants personally and she said she didn't.

We decided to interview for the position after hours. Most everyone on the list was already employed and we didn't want to upset any apple carts. June gave me half the names and she took the other half. She set up appointments over two days.

I looked at my list and I didn't have Brenda Wilson. I did kind of want to see what she looked like. The first day we each interviewed four candidates and four more the second evening. Four we had to eliminate because of age. You needed to be at least twenty-one to sell insurance in the state.

The three men were looking for a higher wage than we were starting at. We each picked the two from the ones we had remaining and figured we would swap and interview the ones we chose. I did notice that Brenda Wilson was one of the two June had chosen.

I asked her what she was like. June said she was articulate, had a bachelor's degree in business, single and a beautiful smile and very easy on the eyes. She was presently working as a receptionist in a small office and was looking for something better.

When June told her she would have to study and take state exams, she had no problems with that. She graduated from Michigan State with a four point average her senior year.

The following evening she walked into my office. Saw me and said, "Oh my God! Jerry! I'm sorry, I need to leave."

"Brenda wait please, let's talk, I saw your name but I didn't know it was you, I swear. It's so good to see you. When did you move to Michigan?"

"Look," said Brenda. "This won't work. I can't work with you Jerry. I would have never applied for this job if I knew."

"Please let's talk business and if you don't think you want the position, then so be it."

"Jerry, we have a past. It won't work. I've learned to go on with my life."

"Brenda, let me say one thing. Giving you the money for an abortion was the biggest mistake I have ever made. I regret it most every day of my life. Seeing you now makes me realize I gave up the one woman who meant the most to me. Asking you to abort my child is something I have to live with the rest of my life. I truly regret it. I wish I could turn back the clock and make a different decision, but I can't.

"Back to business. I'm the assistant sales manager here at Allied. I've been here two months and we are looking for a professional person to join our company. We prefer a college graduate, someone who is articulate and very personable."

"Jerry, please, I don't think..."

"This person will need to be licensed by the State of Michigan to sell all types of insurance. She will also be a part-time receptionist and secretary along with June."

"Jerry!"

I kept talking. "The starting salary will be thirty-five thousand a year plus commission on some of the policies."

"Jerry, I can't take the job even though it's a wonderful offer if of course I was accepted."

"Why not Brenda? I looked for you all summer and you had moved. I wanted to see you so bad because of the way I hurt you. I was wrong but I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry."

"The reason I can't take the job is because I still have strong feelings for you. I felt it the second I saw you. That's not all."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I didn't have the abortion. I kept my daughter, our daughter. I had her and then went back to school. Mom watches her while I work. I never contacted you because you didn't want her. Mom said I should let you know but I told her I couldn‘t face you again.

"I‘ve been raising her on my own with the help of my parents. That's why I applied for this position, more money."

"Brenda, I need to see you again so we can talk. I know you and your parents must hate me but I'd like to see my daughter."

"As far as this position goes, I don't make the final decision. It's actually June's call and she will present it to John, who is our boss who in turn takes it to the board. Please consider it if you're chosen. You are in the final four."

"God, Jerry, I don't know about the position but you have a right to see your daughter." Brenda got up and was crying as she left the building.

June came in and saw my face. "What happened? Looks like you saw a ghost! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, did you finish your interviews?"

"Yes, and I think Brenda Wilson is my first choice. What did you think of her?"

"I love her!" I replied.

"What? What's going on Jerry?" June was somewhat of a motherly figure to me even though I was the boss. She was the type of person that could almost see through you.

I told June about what happened in college and that Brenda kept the baby and I was a daddy.

"Oh shit Jerry, she was perfect for the job. I know I could easily have sold her to John. What are we going to do?"

"Take her name and Judy's name to John and let them decide. If they choose Brenda then we'll need to talk to her again."

****

Brenda was the choice of the board. She came back two days later to see me. June came out and asked to talk with her privately. I don't know what they talked about but June convinced her to take the position. Now it was my turn to talk to Brenda.

"I know this is hard on you but I want you to know I'll do whatever it takes to make it easier. I have so many questions and I am probably as nervous as you. Does our child know I exist? When can I see her? I don't even know her name. I'm so sorry for everything. I want to pay any back child support; just tell me how much you want. I do want to be in my child's life. How old is she now?"

"Easy Jerry, first of all I talked to mom and she isn't overly happy with you but she agrees you should be able to see your child. My dad died of a heart attack last year. That's one of the reasons I still live with mom. Besides I's a big house.

"Our daughter really didn't say anything about her father until recently. She was just learning to talk. I was crying at my dad's funeral and she asked where her daddy was. I told her you went away. She asked when you would be back and I told her I didn't know. What do you say a little girl who wasn't even three at the time?"

"I named our little girl Jeri, after you but she has my last name. She's almost four and I told her about you last night and she wants to see you. As you know I took the position and I hope I didn't make a mistake. As I said, I still have feelings for you. I‘m hoping we can be professional about this, I really want the job."

"We'll be working together and I'll be helping you with the state exams. You'll be working mostly with June, she's like a mother figure around here. As far as our personal life goes, we can take it a day at a time."

That night I went over to meet my little girl. When I stepped in the room she yelled, "Daddy". Brenda had told her I would be coming over. She ran into my arms. I held her tight and began to cry.

"Why are you crying Daddy, are you sad?' asked Jeri.

"No Honey, I couldn't be any happier than I am now. Sometimes people cry when they are happy.

I said hello to Mary, Brenda's mom. She said hello to me but wasn't overly friendly. I couldn't blame her. I handed her a check for ten thousand dollars and said it was for back child support. Brenda wouldn't take it but I hoped she could use it to help take care of Jeri. She set the check on the counter.

I told her that I wanted to be a part of Jeri's life but didn't want to mess up their routine. We all agreed that I could see Jeri at least three times a week.

During the first few weeks Brenda and I worked together on her state exams we had lunch together but other employees were always with us. I knew I still had very strong feelings for her. It's funny how quickly feelings come back.

Once she passed the exams, Brenda and I started working together on some of the contracts. She was a natural in salesmanship. Her work performance has been great and she is liked by everyone in the office. Since we have been working together our joint sales figures have been some of the best in the company's history.

I was stopping by to see my daughter at least three times a week. Usually I played games with her and on Saturdays I would take her and her mom somewhere. We've been to the zoo, movies and she loves to go to the park.

Two months had gone by when I asked Brenda out on a date. We both knew there was a tension building between us.

"Do you think this is a good idea Jerry?"

"Yes I do, we both know we have feelings for each other. Neither of us has been dating anyone else since you started at the firm, so yes, I think we need to go out."

We decided on a dinner and a movie. We were both nervous. You would have thought we were two teenagers going out for the first time. After a nice dinner we headed over to the theatre and I opened her door so she could get out of the car. When she stood up I leaned forward and kissed her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," I said.

"Jerry, we both knew it was going to happen sooner or later." She leaned forward and kissed me again.

I held her hand through the whole movie. She didn't seem to mind. On our way back to her house she asked to see my apartment. I knew it was a mess. After all I was a guy who lived by himself.

"Are you sure you want to see it? It's a mess."

"Jerry, I remember your dorm room, remember? It couldn't look much worse."

She said it was a nice building but when I opened my apartment door she just shook her head. "You sure didn't get any neater," she said. "You need a woman's touch.

I turned around and she kissed me. "Oh Jerry, make love to me so we can both calm down, that is if you want me as much as I want you."

I took her in my arms and kissed her. Sometime within the next few minutes we were both naked and I was kissing her body. She always kept herself fit and she still looked great. I went down on her and kissed her very wet pussy. I wanted her so bad. I took out a condom and she actually smiled at me.

I slipped my cock into her and she had tears in her eyes. I wondered how I could have ever let her go. Why didn't I keep looking for her? I did my best to fuck her slowly. I remembered she always preferred it that way.

I felt her having an orgasm and pushed in hard and came myself. When I felt her spasms stop I got off of her and disposed of the condom.

"Do you think the tension between us will be less now?" I asked.

"I don't know, just like you said we need to take it a day at a time."

The next time I saw Mary, I could tell she knew we had made love. She told me, "Brenda loves you. Don't you dare hurt her again!"

"Mary, I promise I won't hurt her, in fact I love her more than ever. I made a big mistake letting her go last time and it's not going to happen again. We have both agreed to take it slow and see how it progresses."

I asked Brenda if she would go with me the following weekend to meet my parents. I hadn't told them they had a beautiful granddaughter. She agreed to go with me and I promised Mary we would sleep in separate beds.

Jeri was happy that she was going somewhere new. I told her it was where her mother and I grew up. She would be meeting her other grandmother and grandfather.

I told mom on the phone that I was bringing a woman home for her and dad to meet. I also told her that she had a beautiful daughter who was almost four. I didn't tell her that it was my daughter. Not over the phone.

Mom greeted us and liked Brenda right off the bat. After hugging her she hugged and kissed Jeri and told Brenda what a beautiful daughter she had. I asked mom and dad to sit down.

"What is it Jerry, is there a problem? asked mom.

"Mom, Dad, Jeri is my daughter."

They both asked a thousand questions. Brenda told them the truth. Mom couldn't believe I would do such a thing but I told her it was true. After I had changed my mind Brenda had moved and I never knew she had Jeri until she came in for a job interview.

Mom was still mad at me but took Jeri in her arms and was crying.

"Grandma, are you crying because you're happy or sad? Daddy cried the first time he hugged me too."

"Honey, I'm very, very happy."

We talked with mom and dad for awhile. They asked us about our future plans. We told them we were a couple but taking it slow. We weren't going to rush into anything.

"No matter what the future brings, Jeri will always be your granddaughter," she told my parents. Afterwards we all went out to dinner. When it was time to retire for the night, Brenda and Jeri shared a bed. I slept on the couch.

As we were leaving mom said she hoped to see us all soon. I thanked Brenda for coming to see my parents and bringing Jeri with her.

"Jerry, I want Jeri to know her family. I now realize not contacting you was a big mistake and I truly regret it. I should have contacted you and told you the truth. I was wrong and I want you to know that. You should also know that the money you gave me for the abortion I used for the hospital bill. I didn't have insurance at the time."

Our life went on. I saw Jeri each week and Brenda and I dated regularly. A couple of months had gone by and it was Jeri's fourth birthday. I forgot to mention that Brenda had an older sister and a brother. They each had two kids a little older than Jeri.

They lived out in the east side suburbs, probably a good hour away. I had seen them once since Brenda and I had been dating again. At first they were aggravated with me until Brenda told them I never knew she had little Jeri. Now I was part of her life.

I bought Jeri a bicycle. It's what she told me she wanted. My mom and dad came up for her party. After all it was their only grandchild. They got a room at a local motel. It was the first time they met anyone in Brenda's family including her mother. Our two mothers got along fine. It made Brenda and I feel good that they became friends so quickly.

My dad sat with the other men and watched sports on the TV. The kids were all busy playing. After the party Brenda's family went home. The two mothers and Brenda were still busy talking in the kitchen while cleaning up the mess.

Dad was still watching his sports. I was in Jeri's room talking to her and watching her draw a picture with her new box of crayons. It really wasn't too bad for a four year old. She had four people in the picture. They were pretty much stick figures. They were all standing in front of what appeared to be a house.

"There, all done," said Jeri to me.

"Want to explain the picture to me?" I asked.

She looked aggravated that I couldn't completely figure it out. "That's Grandma, that's Mommy, that's you Daddy, see it's a man with short hair and he's the tallest. The short girl is me."

"Is that your house behind us," I asked.

"Yep, Daddy, how come you don't live with us? We have a big house and lots of room. Mommy said you live in a dirty apartment. Our place is always clean."

I had to laugh. "Well, Honey, your Mommy and I aren't married."

"Do you love her?"

"Yes, very much," I answered.

"She loves you too because I asked her and she doesn't lie to me. Why don't you ask her to marry you and you can live here in a clean house with us?"

"Are you sure she would say yes?" I asked.

I turned around and behind me in the doorway was Brenda with tears running down her cheeks. I had no idea how long she had been standing there.

Jeri looked at her. "Mommy, are those happy tears or sad tears. There's two kinds you know."

"They're very happy tears, and if Daddy asks me to marry him the answer would be yes."

"I stood up and kissed Brenda and then asked, "Brenda, will you marry me?"

Even before Brenda said yes, Jeri ran into the living room and told all her grandparents that her mom and dad were going to get married and we sealed it with a kiss.

Epilogue:

We did get married a month later. Mom and dad came up for the wedding. Most of the people from work were there as well as Brenda's family.

Ten months later Brenda was pregnant with our soon to be son. Jeri said she wanted a brother.

Oh, I wanted to mention something that was on my mind. About a week before we got married we went out with friends. We had a wonderful dinner and drinks. I looked up and there was a sign. There was going to be a wet t-shirt contest to be held in the party room at ten o'clock.

I looked at Brenda and said, "What would you do if I asked you to be in the wet t-shirt contest?"

Without waiting five seconds, she said, "I'd knock you along side the head with a beer bottle, I would have figured you had lost your mind!"

Our friends all laughed and the women agreed with Brenda.

She smiled at me and we left the lounge at nine o'clock. Brenda said I didn't need to be checking out other women's breasts. I could look at hers whenever I wanted to, as long as we were alone.

Thank you for reading my story Comments are welcome and appreciated. DG Hear.