The Girl from Yesterday
written by:
DG Hear

The Girl From Yesterday Co-written by DG Hear & Jake Rivers

Note from Jake Rivers:

DG Hear and I have collaborated on a number of efforts: my semi-annual invitational, common themes but separate stories (Hey, Joe! & Back up Buddy), and stories we co-wrote.

This effort we decided to write together. We hope you enjoy it. It is based on the Eagles great song, "The Girl from Yesterday." (Written by Jack Tempchin & Glenn Frey.)

A big ‘Thank You' to WanderingScot for editing this story for us. We hope you enjoy the story.

DG Hear

Chapter 1

There was no work in our small community so I enlisted in the Army. It would be a month before I would be heading to basic training at Fort Polk, near Leesville, Louisiana. My friend Mel—short for Melanie—was mad at me for enlisting. We were good friends but were never really committed to each other. We dated some in high school and even had sex a couple of times.

She was the neighbor girl that I had known for years. We were more like best buds than lovers. The sex just happened when we were alone at the end of the school year. It was the first time for both of us I think. It was awkward talking to each other after the first time. We finally realized it was all just part of growing up.

The month passed by quickly, and suddenly I was in Columbus for in-processing into the Army, and was surprised that there wasn't a lot of harassment, you know the kind where the Sergeants scream and yell at you.

All the paperwork, testing, physicals and such took about three days, and then we were shipped immediately to Fort Polk on a chartered bus. Then the harassment started. I can only say it was chicken-shit, but later, after I returned alive from Nam I appreciated every pushup I'd had to do. The training I received there and later at Fort Benning helped keep me from not returning at all.

I did all the processing that had to take place at the Army Reception Center. The physical exam was a pain in the ass. Lines of men in skivvies walking here and there to be pushed poked and prodded. And that's not mentioning the damn needles. I swear that the Army has an injection for every letter of the alphabet.

While I was in line, one of the guys told me a story that he swore was true, but I didn't really believe him. It seemed that this guy had been drafted, but really did not want to serve Uncle Sam. So he pretended to not be able to successfully read the eye chart. The doctor, of course, had done thousands of these physicals, and knew every trick. So he had a nude nurse walk across the hallway at the other end of the building. The draftee had the expected reaction.

The doctor asked the young man, "Son, did you see anything down the hall?"

"No, Sir, I didn't."

"Well, soldier, your indicator says you are lying. Welcome to the Army—you have just passed the physical."

I did better than I expected on at the Armed Forces Qualification Test. It was somewhat like the National Merit Scholarship test I'd taken in high school. Anyway, I got a high enough score that they told me I could take about any advanced training course I wanted. I had a chat with one of the sergeants during a break, and he told me it got colder than hell at Fort Polk. The days were usually nice, but in mid-winter it could get down to the mid-twenties. This was around the first of November, so I'd finish basic sometime in late January.

We chatted for a while, and I decided to go to radio school for my advanced training. This was in Augusta, Georgia, so I thought, "Well, how cold can it be in Georgia. So I signed the papers for that—it would be right at the start of spring.

When I finished my in-processing, the bunch of us went to Fort Polk by bus. We were assigned to an administrative company for equipment issue and to wait for the next basic training cycle to start. They were assigning everyone to Kitchen Police like mad—and I wanted no part of KP. I asked around and as a result, volunteered to keep the coal fired furnaces running at night. So I did this every third night. I mean, how bad could it be to sit in a warm room and shovel in coal as needed?

We finally got assigned to a training company, and it immediately became not very much fun. The first night around three in the morning, they started banging on the metal triangles for a fire alarm. I was upstairs, and when I stepped out in the hallway, I saw smoke pouring up the stairwells. I dashed down the hall, wearing nothing but my boxer shorts. The recruits were panicking, including me, as we ran out into a heavy, cold rain, looking for the fire.

Well, what they had done was put a smoke grenade in an empty barrel at each end of the first floor of the barracks. After about ten minutes, the sergeant told us to go back to bed. The next morning, with no warning, we had an inspection. We knew nothing about what to expect, and certainly were not prepared since we had got to the company just before dinner the previous evening.

We were amazingly in two person rooms, but somehow I wound up in a room of my own. When the training platoon and sergeant leaders came into the room, I could see the first lieutenant was bored. Later I found out he had just re-enlisted and was waiting to go to Fort Monmouth, New Jersey for Advanced Signal training. They parked him here to keep him busy. The sergeant looked at me and asked, in a nasty voice, "Soldier, do you button your shirt from the top down or bottom up?"

I froze for a second—I really couldn't remember which way I did it. I blurted out, "Uh, from the bottom up Sir."

God dammit soldier, this gentleman next to me is an officer; you salute him and call him sir. You do not salute me; you do not call me sir. You may call me sergeant or Sergeant Miller. Now give me twenty pushups for not knowing how to button your shirt."

I heard them the next room over, and it was the same—except the private there said the opposite of what I did and still had to do the punishment. I immediately had an epiphany that served me well for the rest of the time I was in the Army. It did not make any difference what you did, how you did it, or even what you knew. If you were wrong about something you caught shit for it. If you were right—well you were wrong and still caught hell for it. I would always remember that when I saw a sergeant in a movie.

The training was a combination of chicken-shit, that is trying to tear us down and rebuild us into a soldier; and a practical course of training that actually did make a lot of sense if we were going to run around killing people and trying to avoid the same fate. Or as General Patton put it so succinctly, "No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

I surprisingly turned out to be quite good with a rifle. I scored expert using a M1 on the known distance range. It was something that I was really good at since I've hunted ever since I was a kid. I scored the highest on the shooting range. My CO called me a natural. It was my dad's influence that made me such a good shot. He owned and operated a small sports shop in our town. There wasn't much I didn't know about hunting and guns.

I especially enjoyed myself on the pop-up target course. We would walk down a path and when a silhouette of an enemy soldier jumped up we had three seconds to hit it before it went down. To make it more challenging, some of the targets were of non-combatants, maybe children. You kill a kid and you scored zero for the course.

Riding home on the bus I was pleased at how I looked. I knew how to wear the uniform and being in the best shape I'd ever been in made me look sharp. I was so happy to come home after basic training. As soon as I arrived, I headed over to see Mel. Our families knew each other so well that we just walked into each other's house and thought nothing of it. That was the friendly kind of community we lived in.

I walked into Mel's house, and said, "Anybody home?" I looked up and there was Mel kissing Brad; a guy that she once told me she liked.

"Mike, I wasn't expecting you home until tomorrow." I knew we all felt out of place, but this was sure a surprise for me. It had been a couple of months since I saw her, but still!

I talked to them a few minutes and headed home. Seeing her with Brad made me realize I really cared for her. I guess it was best to find out she didn't feel the same now before I went overseas.

I did my best to avoid her for the two weeks I was home. I didn't want to be alone with her; I knew it would hurt too much. The day I was leaving she came over to our house to say goodbye to me. She even gave me a kiss in front of my parents. I did my best not to show much emotion even though my insides were aching.

"It wasn't really sad the way they said good-bye Or maybe it just hurt so bad she couldn't cry He packed his things, walked out the door and drove away And she became the girl from yesterday."

I knew that I would be gone for at least a year or more. I couldn't help but think that it would have been nice to have a girl back home thinking about me. Even though I would be with a band of brothers, I knew there would be a place in my heart filled with loneliness.

The day before I was supposed to leave I got a phone call giving me verbal orders cancelling my planned training at Fort Gordon. I was to go to Fort Benning in Georgia for Advanced Infantry Training. They told me to tell anyone who asked for my orders that I was traveling under verbal orders of the Commanding Officer Fort Benning. New orders would be awaiting me when I checked in.

I was pissed at this, but I already knew enough about the Army to just accept it. I later learned that they desperately needed grunts to man the foxholes in Viet Nam. When I checked in the Officer of the Day was sympathetic and told he was putting a note in my file to get me to Radio School later if I still wanted to.

They treated us with a lot more respect in AIT, as men and as soldiers. It was intensive training on tactics and weapons. I fired for score with both the M1 and M14. I fired high expert on the M14 which was just being introduced. The range officer talked to me about sniper school. But events kept me from going to sniper school.

There were tons of rumors going around, but very few facts. The truth turned out to be that the 5th Calvary Regiment was being reformed at Fort Benning in preparation for being sent to Viet Nam. Our entire training class—with only a couple of exceptions—was transferred. The 5th was to be an Air Cavalry Regiment with some armored attachments. We were suddenly being giving intense training using helicopters as a means of insertion and extraction in combat situations.

There was a strong sense of mission and urgency. It became clear as we trained over that summer of '65, that we were headed to war as soon as the training finished. I was in the 2nd battalion, and we trained along with the 12th.

Before we had much of a chance to think about it we were in Viet Nam in the Ia Drang Valley. Later it would be hard for "cherries" or new recruits when they arrived in a combat area. No one wanted to be with them because too many of them were killed in the first few weeks. But at this time we were all "cherries" and died all too rapidly.

I wasn't able to receive mail for over a month. I was surprised to find a half dozen letters waiting for me when I received my first mail call. I received two letters from mom and four letters from Mel.

Now she tells me how much she cares for me and how she will miss me. I didn't know if she was just being nice or if she really meant it. She had written me a letter at least every other week. When I received the next letter she told me she was going to college and take up nursing.

I do have to admit it felt good getting letters from Mel. I often thought back and wondered how life could have been different if we would have just talked to each other and said how we felt. I guess it's true when they say, "You don't know what you have, until you have lost it." That's how I felt about Mel.

Being overseas and fighting a war was hell. I knew why we were there every time I helped another Vietnamese family find a safer place to live. I had my parents send me boxes of candy that I could package up and give to the kids. It was just like you see on TV, the smiling kids every time you gave them a box of candy or a hug. They just wanted to feel safe and my being there helped.

I was also growing up fast ... seeing the tragedies of war, my fellow soldiers being shot and some even killed ... the nightmares that you can't get out of your head. I had witnessed more death in the first month in Viet Nam than most people back home see in a lifetime. It was the letters and gifts from home along with the letters from Mel that helped me keep going.

On one of our first missions we had to go recover remains of our soldiers who had been captured by the enemy. The NVA troops slaughtered our wounded men. Most bodies we recovered were shot in the head or back. At other locations, we heard wounded American soldiers were tied to trees, tortured, and then murdered.

We were thrilled with General Westmoreland's new strategy of 'search and destroy'. The objective was to find and then kill members of the Viet Cong. We found this difficult. Our problem was that we never knew who the enemy was and who our friends were. They all looked alike. They all dressed alike. We killed many innocent civilians by mistake. Out Platoon Leader, a sharp First Lieutenant, admitted the friendlies "were usually counted as enemy dead, under the unwritten rule 'If he's dead and Vietnamese, he's VC'."

In the villages they controlled, the VC often built underground tunnels. These tunnels led out of the villages into the jungle. They also contained caverns where they stored their printing presses, surgical instruments and the equipment for making booby traps and land mines. If US patrols arrived in the village unexpectedly, the Viet Cong would hide in these underground caverns. Even if the troops found the entrance to the tunnels, they could not go into the tunnels as they were often too small for our generally larger bodies.

I was asked to volunteer to be a tunnel rat, but I was quick to make them aware of my claustrophobia. Later when I saw Mel, she asked, "But you love to explore caves. Remember that time ..." I didn't even try to explain.

One of the hardest things for morale was the booby traps. The worst was the Panji traps. They would take spikes of bamboo or steel rods and coat them with human feces. They had various ways of triggering them, and the results were always nasty. I hated the grenade traps. Triggered by a low strung string, they were terribly lethal. They were often set low hoping to maim as much as to kill. The VC were pretty smart and knew that a wounded soldier sent home in a wheel chair was better propaganda than the casualty statistics.

One thing I was asked to volunteer for that I did agree to, was to spend a day with a sniper instructor. I was the de facto sniper for our company, since I was the most consistently accurate shooter. The platoon sergeants would come looking for me when they got pinned down by an enemy sniper, or needed a machine gun taken out. I wasn't sure about how I felt about killing as a sniper, but I finally justified it as just a different way to kill. Sniping wouldn't kill a man any deader than a claymore or hand grenade or calling in a napalm run; dead is dead. Not to mention that each VC I shot was one more that wouldn't be shooting at me!

The Battalion Sergeant Major had worked out with a Marine friend of his for me to spend a day with a sniper instructor at the Happy Valley sniper training facility in a Seabee rock quarry on the edge of Da Nang. I wasn't going to get any of the stuff about concealment, stealthy movement, Ghillie suits—just an intense day on improving my mechanics. We worked on breathing, trigger pull, target identification ... and shooting until my shoulder was killing me. I was amazed at the improvement in the accuracy and range of my shooting.

The Gunnery Sergeant doing the training emphasized, "The actual shooting is only twenty per cent of a snipers job. You're not learning the other eighty per cent, so keep that in mind. He did give me a new, match grade M1-D rifle. It was a truism that a better tool provides better results. Over the next six months before I ended my first tour, I figured I killed more of the enemy with one ammo belt than my platoon did with thousands of rounds. I told my platoon sergeant that he should get me a bonus for all the money I was saving the Army. He laughed, bought me a beer, and said, "Be happy!"

One situation stuck in my mind. A spotter had an ID on a senior VC commander, but he was over eight hundred yards away. I huddled there with the Company Commander, and evaluated the situation. The spotter pointed out the target and looking through my scope I could see him standing next to a tree. He was hidden from the waist down.

I knew I could hit a target to within one minute of a degree of arc. From a practical standpoint that meant I could hit a one inch circle at a hundred yards, two inches at two hundred and on out to a ten inch target at a thousand yards. I wasn't going to try anything fancy, certainly not a head shot. I was going for center of mass, his sternum in the middle of a two foot by two foot rectangle. I knew from experience I had about a ninety per cent chance of chance of hitting within six inches of his sternum. It wasn't until I felt the recoil that I even knew that I had fired—no flinching here!

It was a clean kill and earned me a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels from the CO. Of course, I shared them with my squad, the platoon sergeant and the platoon leader. The Lieutenant was a good guy and thought nothing of hobnobbing with the troops.

I thought I would be returning home after my thirteen month tour, but it didn't happen that way. I got a couple of weeks off to go to the Philippines, away from the war and all the bullshit. The only problem is that I was alone. I don't know if my mail didn't get forwarded or if Mel stopped writing me. I guessed I would just have to wait and see.

I found companionship with the local bar girls. It seemed odd that the sex was so open in other countries. These women just wanted a good time with the servicemen. We wined and dined them and got all the sex a man could handle. I made sure I was well supplied with condoms. I thought about Mel and felt as though I was cheating on her. I knew we spoke of our feeling for each other but we still didn't really commit to each other. At least that was what I led myself to believe.

The time off went by very quickly, and I was getting ready to return to the war zone. A couple of the girls and I had a final party with all the sex we could handle. The one thing I noticed is that it was just sex. I guess the way they got so excited whenever I gave them a little present ... or money, kinda took the romance out of it—but it sure did make them more enthusiastic. I didn't feel love but again, I wasn't sure what love was. But the sex was great—first class!

When I got back to our base camp I was called into Battalion HQ. The Executive Officer told me, "The Colonel needs a new radio operator. The current one will be transferring stateside, and he has heard good things about you from your company commander. If you want we will immediately send you to Fort Gordon and then back here. You won't be able to take leave while you are stateside. But what we will do if you want is at the end of your next tour we will send you to advanced signal school in New Jersey and give you a good choice of future assignment. I'd recommend Germany."

I just wanted to get out what I was doing so I said, "Yes, Sir!" It wasn't until later I found out I had to extend my three year enlistment for six months, but what the hell!

When I got to Fort Gordon, in Augusta, Georgia, I received a few forwarded letters. Mel told me she was busy studying at college and was doing quite well. She mentioned that she had hoped I would have come home but my parents had told her it would be another year. She told me she was saddened that she would not be seeing me.

School was good. I was promoted to corporal before I left ‘Nam, so I didn't catch a lot of shit. The other students were about my age, but I felt so damn much more mature. I had to march the other guys around all the time since I was the highest rank in the class. We learned about the AN/GRC PRC10 - better known as the prick ten. I knew a lot about it since that's what we had been using. We learned Morse Code, which I had learned with my Scout Troop, and how to type on a teletype machine. It was weird since it was only three rows of keys and numbers and punctuation had to be shifted. Still, I learned to type and in later years it turned out to be a godsend when personal computers came out.

The main radio we studied was a radio-teletype system called an AN/GRC-19. It was a transmitter, receiver, radio teletypewriter, all combined into a system. It was designed to be used in a hut on the back of a ¾ ton truck. There was a larger radio we studied that was mounted on the back of deuce-and-a-half. Towards the end of the class we also learned to use crypto equipment and all of us had to be checked for top-secret crypto security clearance.

Before I knew it I was back in ‘Nam and checking in with the Officer of the Day for the Battalion. He sat me down with the outgoing radio operator and told me to shadow him for the three weeks he had left. The Colonel had me in for dinner—it wasn't C Rations, but it also wasn't much better. Still, I appreciated the gesture.

From talking with the radio operator, there really wasn't much to do unless they were deployed to the field. Then it was almost like being a staff assistant. He had to even carry extra toilet paper in case his boss ran out.

A couple months later we did go out on a major operation. They, to me somewhat whimsically, called it a search & destroy. We were looking to take a battalion into maybe a couple of companies of Viet Cong. What we found was a VC battalion, plus an enhanced regiment of NVA, the regular North Vietnamese Army. It was a typical Army clusterfuck. Our goal was to punish the enemy severely. We were expecting a ten to one casualty ratio—that's ten enemies killed or wounded for each one of ours. It turned out to be about two to one. The Colonel was wounded in a mortar attack and I shit my pants.

We were pulled back to recuperate and lick our wounds. I talked to my buddies who all said they had girls back home. I guess we were all in the same boat. You had to wonder if your girl was really waiting for you.

The time passed quickly and I was becoming very cynical. The whole war was bullshit because it was being run by politicians back home, and not by commanders in the field that knew what needed to be done. It was like me being a sniper with a BB gun, one hand tied behind my back, and a blindfold on. All the brass seemed to care about was body counts. Well hell, the count I was taking was my buddies that were all too regularly being packed into body bags, and sent home for all too often ignominious burials. Not that the soldiers were ignominious, but the way they were treated was. No respect, no appreciation for trying to do well, an impossible job. I didn't wonder at my cynicism.

I'd been away for over two years now. I had a year-and-a-half left to serve. My CO said I would be getting a month off before returning to my unit. They did give me kind of a choice of where I would want to spend the rest of my tour of duty. There were a few places in the states and a couple of countries overseas. None were near my home town.

My commanding officer said he had to know as soon as I returned so the plans could be made. The nearest base that needed soldiers with my specialty in the states would be about three hundred miles away from my home, at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. The post was located just across the state line from Clarksville, Tennessee. At least I could go home and see my parents periodically. I needed to talk it over with them when I got home. On the other hand if I returned to ‘Nam, there was a lot of bonus money I could receive. It could help pay for some schooling.

Then there was Mel; what would she want from me—just friendship or something more? If she didn't really feel about me the way I felt about her would I be better off to be overseas so I didn't see her when I would visit with my parents. Time would surely tell. If I didn't have her to come home and visit every couple of months, I might as well finish my service overseas. At least I got laid whenever I wanted even though it wasn't love.

I was getting anxious. In a month I would be going home. In my next letter, I wrote to Mel and let her know it would be great to see her again. It made me nervous wondering if she felt the way she wrote in her earlier letters. They seemed more loving and caring. I had to wonder if she did it to cheer up an old friend or was she for some reason waiting for me.

Mel had written me that she now had her own apartment near the hospital. She mentioned visiting her parents most every day. I guess according to her letters that she wasn't the best cook and tried to make it to her parent's house for dinner.

One thing that did bother me was that she hadn't written me as often as she used to. I was lucky to get a letter once a month. Most of it was about things going on in the community; nothing really personal anymore. She did still sign them ‘Love Mel'. I also remember that she said she met some nice friends at the hospital and did go out with them.

I never asked her if they were men or women. I guess I really didn't want to know.

I've been through hell and back for two years now. I'd grown into a different person realizing that my life could end in any given minute. The thing I wanted most in life was a true love—someone to share my thoughts and my life with. I wanted to have kids of my own to nurture and raise.

War sure changes you—sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. For me it meant the closeness of family and friends, and helping those unable to help themselves.

On my way home I made it a point to stop off at my Aunt's house in Nevada, and at another relative's house in Texas. I saw my cousins that I haven't seen for quite some time. They all lived near one of the bases I could choose to go to. It wouldn't be that far from seeing some family for the next two years.

I arrived home and was greeted by my parents and sister. Boy, it was so good to see them. They threw me a little get together with some of the relatives and neighbors. I asked them about Mel and they told me they didn't see her very often.

I do have to admit it bothered me some. For some reason I thought they might be in closer contact. It was great seeing everyone. Of course they wanted to know what I was going to do next and I explained it was still up in the air. I could hardly tell anyone it depended on how Mel felt about me.

I had two weeks left to make my decision. I got hold of Mel and she invited me over. I told her I would pick her up at the hospital but she said she would prefer to meet me at her apartment.

I was sitting on her doorstep when she arrived home. I could see tears in her eyes when she saw me. I knew I had tears in mine. I grabbed her and kissed her. I couldn't help but tell her I loved her.

We went inside and I told her I wanted to take her out to dinner. She said she needed to shower first. I waited and watched the TV while she went to shower. I couldn't help myself. I stripped off my clothes and opened the bathroom door and got in the shower with her.

"Mike, what are you doing in ..." She didn't get a chance to finish as I kissed her.

I soaped her up and rubbed her whole body. "I'm not hungry now. All I want is to make love to you".

She seemed nervous; maybe I was going too fast. She leaned over and kissed me. It was a very passionate kiss. I half dried her off and carried her to her bed and made love to her. It wasn't just sex, it was love. I could feel it in every part of my being.

We must have done it three times that night. The last was as good as the first. We ended up ordering a pizza. We did get hungry after all.

In the days that followed I saw her as often as I could. Each day we ended up making love. I knew I had kissed every inch of her body and loved it as much as she did receiving it.

She asked me what my plans were and I told her it depended on her. I explained my options to her. The closest I could be stationed was three hundred miles away but I would be able to see her a few times a year. The big money choice was to go back to Nam and finish my term. I could be back in a year, two at the most.

I asked her about her job at the hospital. She told me it was going well and she really enjoyed it. I could feel she was holding something back but I didn't want to push the issue.

We really didn't tell anyone how we felt about each other. I figured we would tell them when Mel was ready. I did go see her parents and Mel did act a bit more distant from me while I was there. I had always liked her parents and they liked me. After all I half grew up in their house and they treated me almost like a son.

Her mom did say Mel had an opportunity to transfer to a much larger hospital. It would take her further away from home and they wouldn't be able to see her as often. I figured that was one of the things that Mel wasn't telling me.

She had to work every day, so I didn't get to see her all that much. As of right now I was considering going to the closest base to home. At least I could see Mel. The problem is she would have to wait for me. I mean just seeing her a couple of times a year ... would it be enough?

On the Thursday before I was due to leave—which would be Monday—I spent the night with Mel. I took her out for dinner and made love to her the entire night. I licked, kissed and made love to every inch of her body. It was the last time I would be able to make love to her till I returned.

I told her I would be able to stop by on Sunday to say goodbye, but she said she would be working. I wanted to take her out Friday and Saturday but she told me she was involved in a wedding. A friend of hers at the hospital was getting married and she was one of the bridesmaids. The wedding had been planned for nearly a year.

"Mike, I have to go to work now but I have to talk to you before you leave." She looked at me very serious.

"What is it? Tell me now," I suggested.

"No, I need time to explain a lot of things to you that I have put off telling you. Please come here Sunday night so I can explain everything."

The last thing I told her before she left her house on Friday morning was that I loved her and couldn't wait for our wedding day. I then kissed her and she left.

She did tell me that I could take a shower and be sure to lock up her place before she left.

I jumped into the shower a very happy man. As I was drying off I heard her phone ring. Since it was her house I figured I'd let the answering machine get it. I did listen just in case it was Mel calling me in which I would pick up the phone.

Here was the message:

"Mel, this is Dan, I'm still out of town but I will be back Saturday for the wedding. I sure do miss you. Don't forget you promised to give me an answer at the wedding. I sure do hope it is yes. Well, have to go now. See you Saturday. Love ya."

Who the hell was Dan and what was he talking about wanting an answer from Mel? Is this what she wanted to talk to me about? Now I wasn't so happy. I needed to know about this Dan fellow, and what was it between him and Mel.

I had to spend the rest of my Friday going around and saying goodbye to my relatives and friends. Jim and Bob a couple of old friends of mine asked me if they could treat me to a few beers on Saturday. I told them that would be fine. I knew they would want to stay out the whole night so I told them I would meet them.

Seven o'clock at the Ramada Inn, I was told. They usually had a band on the weekend and quite a few females. I laughed and told them I would be there for the beers. I know I shouldn't have, but I stopped by the hospital to see Mel. I was told she had left early due to one of the nurses getting married. I figured I would just have to wait till Sunday and see what she wanted to tell me. I had a few questions of my own now.

I showed up at the Ramada Inn and Jim and Bob met me in the lounge. "I thought you guys said they had a band on Saturdays?"

"They usually do," said Bob, "but they reserved the party room for a wedding. We'll just have to settle for a little juke box music."

"Fine with me," I said as I plucked in a few quarters in the juke box.

I picked out an old song by the Eagles ‘The Girl from Yesterday'. It made me think of Mel and me.

He took a plane across the sea To some foreign land She stayed at home and tried so hard to understand How someone who had been so close could be so far away And she became the girl from yesterday

After a few beers I had to use the restroom. As I was washing my hands, in walked Mr. Henderson, Mel's dad.

"Mike, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"A couple of old friends wanted to take me out for a few beers. They wanted to come here for the band but there's a wedding going on."

"I know. It's one of Mel's friends; in fact Mel's in the wedding party. You want to step in and say hi?"

We walked out into the hallway. He opened the door to the large room and I could see Mel dancing close with a good looking guy. She seemed to be having fun.

"No, I don't think so but can you tell me who Mel's dancing with?" I tried to say it in a nice way.

"Oh, that's Dan, Mel's boyfriend. I'm surprised she hasn't told you about him. He's a doctor and is moving to Indiana. He asked Mel to go with him. He's supposed to start his residency there."

"So, is she going?" I asked. I didn't know what else to say.

"She's supposed to tell him tonight. I know she cares for him but I honestly don't know if she loves him. We just want whatever our little girl wants. Well, I'd better get back in there before they think I went home. It was good to see you again Mike. I wish you the best." He smiled and walked into the room.

I was still holding the door open and watching Mel. Dan leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. My heart sunk into my stomach. I guess he got the answer he wanted. I had to leave. I stopped by the table and told Jim and Bob that I wasn't feeling good and had to leave. I was telling them the truth.

When I got home my dad knew something was wrong. I asked him if he would take me to the airport first thing in the morning. I had to leave.

"Mike, what is it? You can tell me."

"Dad, I have been in love with Mel for a long time. I found out tonight that she is marrying a doctor and moving to Indiana. I just need to get out of here. Will you take me to the airport first thing in the morning?"

"Of course I will but does this mean you'll be going back overseas?"

"I think so Dad. The money is good and it will give me a chance to get away. I really need that now."

I said goodbye to my mom and told her that I would send her my new address when I finally get settled down. As of right now I had no idea where it would be.

Dad and I left for the airport. I was flying on standby, but was able to catch a plane quickly. I said goodbye to my dad and he told me to be careful. When I arrived back at our base after a god-awful long flight, I quickly worked out a plan with the battalion clerks.

I would stay for the final few months of my tour in Viet ‘Nam—but not as the Battalion CO Radio Operator. The New Commander bought in his own guy and I was to be sent down to Happy Valley for the full sniper course. It was really a marine facility, but I guess they liked the work that I had done and they took me in. Hell, they had just trained a group of Korean Special Forces, why couldn't they train an Army puke?

After I finished that I would go to the Advanced Signal Training at Fort Monmouth, then on to Fort Campbell. I would also have to go through Airborne training to fit in with the 101st Airborne.

Chapter 2

Mel speaks:

He took a plane across the sea To some foreign land. She stayed at home and tried so hard to understand How someone who had been so close could be so far away And she became the girl from yesterday."

Mike and I have been friends as far back as I can remember. We were good neighbors and close buds. He was never really my boyfriend. Neither of us had dated much. We usually went out with groups of kids to school events and ball games. Even though we were the same age, I thought of him more as a big brother.

It wasn't until our senior year that we actually had a date. It was kind of weird the way it happened. I was going to the prom with a friend named Brad. I guess I have had a crush on him for a couple of years but never dated him either. It was just one of the many crushes I had on different guys.

Anyway, Brad asked me to the prom. I was so excited and surprised. When I told Mike about it, he didn't really seem happy for me, but did say that it was nice that I was going. He said he wasn't planning on going. He couldn't think of any girl that he wanted to spend that kind of money on.

Two days before the prom, Brad's grandmother died. She lived in another state and he wouldn't be able to take me to the prom. I cried and my mom talked to Mike's mom. Mike came over and told me that since the prom meant so much to me he would take me.

I cried, and Mike gave me a hug. "That's what friends are for," he told me.

The day after the prom at our school a lot of the kids go to the beach and spend the day. It's just something most everyone does. Most of us spend half the day sleeping from being up most of the night before.

Mike and I had one of those big beach umbrellas and placed it on the ground nearly covering us up. We both got under a blanket to nap and it happened. Mike started rubbing my belly and it felt good. I know I should have stopped him but I didn't.

He kissed me and slid his fingers into my bikini bottoms. Instead of stopping him, I spread my legs further apart. One thing led to another and we had sex. It was the first time for me. Mike said it was for him too but I'm not sure. He carried a condom in his wallet.

He told me that all guys carry a condom hoping that some day he will get a chance to use it. It didn't take us long and really didn't hurt that much. Actually it felt kind of nice. I remember Mike telling me to try and be a little quieter seeing we were on the beach. Between laughing and having an orgasm at the same time it was quite funny.

It was a bit awkward after that but we just joined in with the rest of the group and went swimming. We just chalked it up to part of growing up. I know I'll always remember it.

The next time we did it was at a New Year's party at his parents' house. We kept taking other peoples drinks and we were feeling pretty good. We were the only two younger people at the party. I was an only child and so was Mike, so when his parents threw the party they asked my parents if I could attend so Mike wouldn't be alone.

I remember Mike saying he wanted to bring in the New Year with a bang. It sounded so funny. So shortly after midnight we went up to his bedroom and did just that. I should have realized then that we were more than just buddies.

It was two days later that he told me he had enlisted in the service. To say I was mad at him would be putting it mildly. I didn't see him much during the next month and then he left for basic training. I missed him, I really did.

Brad had started coming over to visit a few times. There really wasn't that much between us other than being friends. Yes, I had a crush on him but I had a crush on a lot of guys. It was just one of the things girls do, they have crushes. It doesn't mean they want to bed down every crush. It's just another way of saying we're interested.

I remember the day Mike came home from basic training. I thought he would be home the following day. Brad and I were standing in the living room and he told me he never got a New Years kiss. To me it wasn't a big deal and Brad leaned forward and kissed me.

He put his arms around me and kissed me hard. It was at that exact moment that Mike came into the house. I didn't know what to say. To say Mike looked surprised would be an understatement. I was at a loss for words.

We talked about nothing for a few minutes, and Mike said he had to leave and would see me later. God, I felt so bad. I remember asking Brad to leave. He argued for a minute and then left. I sat there wondering what in the hell just happened.

I went to Mike's house a few times but he always had relatives over. It's as though he didn't want to be alone with me. I just let it go for now. Maybe he was as confused as I was. We had always been friends but were we destined to be more than that?

I started nursing school and spent most of my time studying. I did go on a few dates but there was no one that I was serious about. My thoughts kept going back to Mike.

When we wrote to each other we each said how much we missed each other and it was months before we signed our letters with the word love. The more I thought of him, the more I missed him.

I was so disappointed when I found out he would be gone an extra year. I prayed every night that he would be safe. I really wasn't sure what would happen when he came home.

"She doesn't know what's right, She doesn't know what's wrong. She only knows the pain that comes from waiting for so long."

It took me two years to receive my nursing degree and I started working at the local hospital. I still wrote Mike, and told him what was going on in our small town. Often, I would send him articles out of the local newspaper about our friends and family. I figured it would make him feel closer to home.

Too many times, I sat by the window and thought about my life. I wondered if when the phone rang would it be something had happened to Mike. In my heart I realized I have always cared for Mike. It just took him not being around to share our thoughts with and joke around together to really notice it.

I had to wonder if he felt the same. I realized his letters were getting more personal, and when he told me how much he missed me it made me cry. Was he just lonely or did he really mean it? A crystal ball would sure help me to understand things. I didn't know if I should keep waiting for Mike or write it off to the past and go on with my life.

I often dreamt of his returning and the things that he might say. Would he really love me or would I always be the girl from yesterday.

My parents pressured me to date. They didn't know how I felt about Mike. Hell, I didn't even know. Could they be right? Was I wasting away my life waiting on a guy I cared about years ago?

After my first year of taking nurses courses I got a part-time job at the hospital as an attendant. It was a kind of learn as you go type program. It was mostly helping take care of the patients.

Another nurse, Julie, was getting married and she asked me to be a bridesmaid. The wedding would be in the following year. She set me up with one of the young interns. He was good looking and had a nice personality. He was also single. I accepted and he would be my date for the wedding.

I really liked him; what was not to like. He would be a doctor in a year, getting a residency. My problem was that even though I cared for Dan I often thought about Mike and couldn't get him out of my mind or should I say heart.

I wasn't writing Mike as much as I used to. Here I was dating Dan and writing an old friend. I did tell Mike that I went out with friends; I just couldn't get myself to tell him about Dan. I guess it was a kind of ‘torn between two lovers' situation.

I would see Dan most every day for a few minutes. He had a very busy and hectic schedule as an intern. We really didn't spend as much time together as he would have liked. He asked me if he could move in with me and I told him no.

I was honest with him and told him I really cared for him but wasn't sure if I loved him. For some reason I always thought about Mike.

Time went by and Dan and I became closer, much closer. My parents and friends all said we were meant to be together. I know a lot of it was because Dan was a doctor.

Dan had to go away for a couple of weeks. He was going on a trial run to see if he wanted to be a resident doctor in Indiana. Before he left he asked me to go with him if he moved there. I was a bit shell shocked.

"Mel, I'm in love with you. I know you can get a position at the hospital. I already talked to them about it. I know you're not ready to get married but we can rent an apartment together. We'll call it a pre-marriage," he was smiling at me.

"Dan I just don't know, I care for you I really do. I need time before giving you an answer. Everything seems to be going too fast."

"I'll be gone a couple of weeks. I'll be moving a few weeks after Julie's wedding. I guess you can give me an answer at the wedding."

I told him it would only be fair to him and I would have an answer by then.

It was only a couple of days after Dan left that Mike came home. He was sitting on my doorstep when I arrived home. I could see tears in his eyes when he saw me. I knew I had tears in mine. He grabbed me and kissed me telling me he loved me.

I knew right then that it was Mike that I loved. It was just one of those things that women know and feel.

We went inside my apartment. He wanted to take me out to dinner. I told him I needed to shower first. As I was in the shower thinking about Mike he took off his clothes and opened the bathroom door and got in the shower with me.

"Mike, what are you doing in...?" I didn't get a chance to finish as he kissed me.

He soaped me up and rubbed my whole body. "I'm not hungry now. All I want is to make love to you," he said to me.

I was nervous, but I leaned over and kissed him. It was a very passionate kiss. We half dried off and he carried me to my bed and we made love. It wasn't just sex, it was love. I could feel it in every part of my being.

We made love three times that night. The last was as good as the first. We ended up ordering a pizza. We did get hungry after all from the love making.

In the days he had left before he had to leave we saw each other as often as possible. I still had a job to go to every day and he had friends and relatives he wanted to see. We made love as often as possible but we didn't tell anyone.

He did tell me he would be going back to Nevada on Monday and would be shipped out to wherever he chose. When I asked him where he was going to be stationed he told me it depended on me.

The closest he could be stationed was three hundred miles away but would be able to see me a few times a year. The big money choice was to go back to ‘Nam and finish his term. He could be back in a year, two at the most. I so hoped he would stay in the states so I could at least see him.

I wanted to tell him about Dan but I was afraid. I kept putting off mentioning it till the Friday morning before the wedding I was to attend with Dan as my date. Mike stayed at my apartment that night and we made love all night. Before I left for work I told him I had something very important to talk to him about.

He asked me what it was but I told him I was running late and I needed to talk to him on Sunday. I did tell him that he could take a shower and to be sure to lock up my apartment before leaving. The last thing I told him was how much I loved him and would talk to him on Sunday.

****

When I got home on Friday and was getting ready to go to the wedding rehearsal I listened to the messages on my answering machine. I got nervous when I heard the one from Dan. I was so hoping that Mike had left my apartment before Dan had called.

I didn't have any other messages so I figured if Mike had heard it he would have called me. I knew I had to tell him everything on Sunday. The last thing I wanted to do was to lose Mike.

I went to the rehearsal and on Saturday and spent the morning at Julie's helping her with all the last minute emergencies. I had my dress at her place and got ready for the wedding. Julie asked me if I would drive her to the church. Of course after the service she would be with her husband.

I called Dan and let him know I would meet him at the church. He asked me on the phone if I had made a decision on whether I would be moving to Indiana with him. He had decided to take the position.

I told him that I would tell him before the night was over. I didn't want anything to interfere with Julie's wedding. I guess Dan could have taken it either way. He really would have been a great catch if I loved him instead of Mike.

The wedding was beautiful and I think my parents had thoughts of me and Dan as we walked down the aisle together. At the reception I tried to put all thought of Mike out of my mind for one evening. I danced with Dan as well as everyone else.

It was later in the evening when they were playing a slow song and Dan put his arms around my waist as we danced.

"Mel, you've been avoiding answering me all night. Are you moving to Indiana with me?"

I looked into his eyes and I knew he could see my answer. "Dan I care for you, I really do, but my heart belongs to another. I didn't realize it until he came home from the service. I'm so sorry. You're such a good man and deserve a woman who loves you."

"It's your old friend Mike, isn't it? I knew you cared for him the way you often talked about the two of you growing up together. Would you tell your friend Mike that he's getting one fine woman and he had better treat you right."

I had tears in my eyes, Dan was a good person. He leaned forward and said he was giving me a goodbye kiss. He then hugged me and walked away. I went to the ladies room to fix my makeup. I didn't want anyone to notice the tears.

I went back over and sat with my parents. My mom asked if I had answered Dan's question yet.

"Yes, I told him I was staying here. I really care for Dan but I don't love him, Mom."

My Dad spoke. "Mel, we liked Dan but the main thing is we want our little girl to be happy. Besides, we're still kind of old fashion and think you should be married before living together. Now, how about dancing with your old Man?"

My parents were so good. I was afraid they would be telling me that I was making a big mistake. I got up and dad and I danced.

"Oh, guess who I saw in the men's room?" dad said.

"Dad, what kind of a question is that?" I laughed.

"Oh you know what I mean. I saw Mike," replied dad.

"Our Mike? What was he doing here? Did he say anything?"

"He said a couple of his friends met him here to have a few beers before he goes back on Monday. I asked him if he wanted to come in and say hi."

"You didn't! What did he say?"

"He said no, but when I was coming back in the room he saw you and Dan dancing and asked about Dan. I was surprised you never mentioned Dan to him."

"What did you say to him, Dad?"

"I told him Dan was your boyfriend and that he asked you to move to Indiana with him."

"God, Dad, how could you tell him that? Where is he now?"

"Oh Christ, don't tell me that the reason you didn't go with Dan was because you're in love with Mike?" I was crying and my dad pulled me close.

"I'm sorry Honey, I had no idea."

I left my dad standing there and went in the lounge to see if Mike was still there. I had to talk to him. I saw his friends Jim and Bob sitting there with a couple of women. I've known them for years.

"Guys, where is Mike?"

"Wow, do you look nice. Are you in the wedding in the reception hall?"

"Yes, where's Mike? I need to talk to him."

"Sorry Mel, but he said he wasn't feeling good and left a couple of hours ago. He can't drink like he used to."

I told them thanks and went back to the reception. I asked dad not to say anything to mom about Mike. Right now I wanted to keep it quiet till I had a chance to talk to him.

I said goodbye to Julie and her new husband. They were getting ready to leave on their honeymoon. I also said goodbye to Dan. He told me if I ever changed my mind to let him know. He would be leaving by the end of the week.

When I got home I checked my answering machine but Mike had not called. It was too late to call his house now but I would go there first thing in the morning. I called the hospital and told them I wouldn't be in on Sunday. I took a personal day.

I couldn't sleep at all. I tossed and turned all night. I got up at eight and got cleaned up and went to Mike's place. As I knocked on the door, Mr. Amore, Mike's dad, pulled up in the drive. At the same time his mother opened the door.

"Mel, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I need to talk to Mike. Is he here?"

Mr. Amore looked at me and said, "He's gone Mel. He had me take him to the airport at five this morning. He got on the first plane to Nevada. Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be with your fiancé? Mike said you were getting married."

"It was a mistake. I was going to tell Mike all about it today." I was crying.

"Oh Mel!" Mr. Amore sighed. "You know we knew Mike loved you, but didn't know that you were in love with him!"

I told them about Dan and how he asked me to move to Indiana with him but I turned him down. I explained the reason was because I was in love with Mike. I asked if there was any way I could get hold of him but they told me that he didn't leave a forwarding address.

"Is he going to be stationed in Kentucky?" I asked.

"No, he told me he was going back to ‘Nam. Probably for a year. He said he would forward us an address when he gets one but it might be a few weeks maybe even months. I'm sorry Mel. There's nothing we can do."

I cried as I left their house. I loved them like they were my own parents. I hoped they didn't blame me for Mike going back to Nam. It was bad enough I blamed myself.

****

I called them every few weeks, but they hadn't heard from him. Three months had gone by and I was worried. Each day I went to work and did my job. At least it helped me keep my mind off of Mike.

One morning I was sick and my mom looked at me. "You're pregnant aren't you?"

"Yes, I took a test a couple of days ago. I was going to tell you."

"Don't you think you ought to call Dan and let him know? You may not love him but he has a right to know."

"Mom, Dan isn't the father, Mike is."

"What? You and Mike, since when? Are you sure he‘s the father?"

"Since he came home on leave. We found out that we loved each other. That's why I didn't go with Dan; I was in love with Mike. I missed taking a couple of birth control pills and now I'm carrying Mike's child."

"You better write him and tell him. God, it's so hard to believe. You and Mike were like brother and sister growing up."

"It changed to love Mom. It just happened. My problem is Mike went back to ‘Nam and he hasn't written anyone with a new address."

After about four months Mike's parents called and said that they got a letter from Mike. He told them he was doing fine, and would keep in touch when he could. He was being transferred again and mail took a long time to get.

I told them I needed his address there was something I had to tell him. They told me that Mike told them not to give out his address. I went to their house and told them I was pregnant. I was beginning to show by then. To say were shocked would be an understatement.

"Before you ask, ‘Yes' it is Mike's child. I guarantee it. When he is born I'll have the blood tests run for proof."

Mrs. Amore hugged me and we cried. She had to wonder if this would be a good time to tell Mike. After all he thought I had moved to Indiana with Dan. To all of a sudden hear I was pregnant while he was off fighting a war might not be a good thing.

They did give me his address and I decided to write him and wait to see if he responded. All I said in the letter was I didn't move away and that I loved him. I also told him I had something very important to tell him.

He never answered my letter so I sent him a second one a month later and another in my seventh month of pregnancy. It was then that we received some horrible news.

The Army called and the Amore's said Mike was injured and was in serious condition. They called me and I was worried sick. The stress was horrible on my pregnancy. Here I was pregnant with my lover's baby and he might never know he was going to be a father.

The Amore's kept me abreast what was happening. The last I heard was that he had lost part of a leg but would live. He would be in a hospital overseas for a month, maybe more.

I was so stressed out that I went into labor early. It was my eight month. My lover was in a hospital overseas and I was having his baby prematurely here at home. He didn't even know it. God I prayed all would turn out well. The doctors did say my baby boy was very small but had a good chance of making it.

My parents and the Amore's were at the hospital with me. My nurse friend did get the sample to do the blood check to prove the baby was Mike's. Right now I could only pray that he would live and that he would have a chance to meet his dad.

Chapter 3

And she doesn't count the teardrops That she's cried while he's away Because she knows deep in her heart That he'll be back someday

On the long flight back to Viet Nam, I thought a lot about my visit with my cousin Raymond the last time I was home on leave. He was on the police force and he kept telling me that with my experience in the military I'd make a good cop. He took me down for a tour of the police station. It was interesting and he introduced me to a lot of his buddies. They seemed like a solid bunch—guys I'd like to have covering my back.

I had a nice talk with his Lieutenant and while we were in there Ray got permission for me to do a ride-along with him and his partner. His partner turned out to be a tall red-head with more freckles than there were gooks in Viet Nam. She wasn't pretty, but she did have a cute face. She looked a little overweight, but I suspected a lot of that was muscle. I thought I wouldn't like to meet up with her in a dark alley.

Not too much happened, but they talked to me a lot. They explained why they stopped a certain driver, but let others go. I heard some stories that raised the hair on the back of my neck. From Anna, Ray's partner, I heard more raunchy stories than I'd heard in the Army.

Before I left town I went back and filled in the paperwork, and was assured I'd have no problem getting in. The lieutenant did tell me, "Make sure you stay drug free. Some of that shit takes months to get out of your system. Also be careful not to get your foot shot off." He added the last with a laugh and it never occurred to me that he was somewhat prophetic.

I went back to the same clerk that had helped me figure out my options, and started over again, now that I was going to complete my tour in Viet Nam. With the Colonel having been rotated back home because of his injury, his replacement had brought his own radio operator with him. Sniper school was off the books now, so I had to take what was available. I was assigned to Division Headquarters, working with all the units to make sure they had the right radios at the right time, and to coordinate with the maintenance group. It was fine for a few months, but then I got bored. I asked to be transferred back to my regiment.

I guess I thought I'd be back with my buddies, but they were mostly new guys. I was promoted to staff sergeant and made a team leader on a rifle squad. I had two riflemen with M16s, one guy with a M79 Grenade launcher (and a .45 caliber pistol), and one man with a Browning Automatic Rifle. The squad leader carried the radio, but most of the time he gave it to me ‘cause I knew it better (and because he knew the Cong always tried to kill the radio operators).

This was an E5 slot and the squad leader was an E6 slot, Sergeant First Class. Normally SFC was used for platoon sergeant, but for some reason that's the way it was here in paradise. We were still doing mostly search and destroy missions, and it wasn't a lot of fun. The VC had learned the hard way they couldn't handle the massive firepower of our units in large set pieces. They just nickel and dimed us to death. There were more traps than ever before, and they destroyed morale. Even when we never encountered the enemy we still had regular casualties.

The VC had figured how to do a quick ambush, and then fade away in the jungle or deep grass. To keep us off balance, when they had a clear superiority of force, instead of fading away they would hit us a few minutes later from the sides. When we were ambushed we would drop to the ground. We would carefully get up. Usually we would send a scout out to find out where they had gone, and the tendency was to relax, have a smoke and take care of anyone that had been hit.

When they had a bigger edge on us, that's when they would hit us again. They knew the jungle so well that it was their biggest weapon. A couple of months after I was back in the field our squad leader was killed when a helicopter was shot down. They put me in charge of the squad since I had the most time in combat situations. The first sergeant told me, "I can't do anything now because you don't have enough time in grade. When you finish your tour I'll do my best to get you promoted to E6, but I don't know if it will fly."

I didn't know then that I would never finish my tour. I thought about Mel a lot. The times we made love stayed with me, a series of videos I would run through my head during the darkest times. But I would always come back to her betrayal. Some days I didn't care if I got killed or not. I guess I was depressed about the entire situation. I was risking my life each day "for the folks back home." Then I would think that I was doing this to protect Mel and her fiancé. Damn!

My world turned to shit a couple months after I took over the squad. We were taking a rest stop. We were in the middle of two other companies. The platoon leader called for a meeting of the NCOs in his group, the platoon sergeants and squad leaders. I started to walk back on the path we came in on, but I needed to take a dump. When I finished I noticed another path that looked to be shorter—because I had stopped I was late for the meeting. I had to cross a shallow stream. As I got to the middle I felt a slight resistance in front of my left boot. I had time to think, "Oh shit!" and didn't know anything else until I woke up on a hospital ship, the USS Repose.

I was heavily sedated and it was only gradually, over a period of days that I was able to think clearly. The surgeon didn't beat around the bush—I guess he had done this so many times it was automatic. "Your left foot is gone. There was nothing to put back together. You have severe lacerations on the lower parts of both legs, but we hope with time they will clear up okay. Your surgery was at the hospital in Chu Lai. You were sent here for observation and stabilization before being sent stateside. I believe you are being shipped on to Fitzsimons Army Hospital. That's in Aurora, Colorado, just outside Denver. There you will get your rehabilitation and therapy, and get fitted for a prosthesis."

"Doc, which one is it?"

"Which what?"

"Which foot did I lose."

"Oh, it was your left. It looks like our repair of the stump will allow you to wear prosthesis in a few months. We get all too many that are just too mangled to repair." He said that like he was fixing a flat tire on my car.

The clerk at battalion HQ stopped by to give me some of the stuff I'd left in my locker.

"I had to guess what you might want; the rest of it I shipped to your permanent mailing address."

I thanked him, and asked, "Do you know what happened? I remember feeling something pulling against my boot ... then I was here."

"Yeah, the VC place grenades along likely paths across or along streams. They embed two stakes under water on both sides of the creek or stream with a grenade tied to one and the safety pin partially removed from the striker lever and tied by trip wire to the other stake. It your case it was across a marked trail crossing the stream. They usually do this in heavily foliated jungle so there won't be much light. I hear they are almost impossible to see."

He wished me luck, and then someone came in from the administration office to tell me the plans for my move to CONUS (Continental United States).

"You'll going directly to Denver, and you will stay there for an extended time. On your release you should be able to live a somewhat normal life. I'm talking out of school here, but you will most likely wind up with a forty per cent disability pay, and lifetime care at VA Hospitals."

At the time I wasn't interested in the disability pay, and later I was to find out it wasn't worth all that much anyway. I would gladly pay them twice what they paid me if I could have my foot back. I had two days left before shipping home, and all I had to occupy my mind was lay around and think. I was lying in my bed wondering where my life was going. I knew I no longer could be on the police force. Who would want a one legged cop? As I lay there I thought about Mel and what might have been.

I found a packet of letters in the stuff the clerk left me. I was holding a few unopened envelopes from Mel. I just couldn't get myself to open them while I was in `Nam. No soldier wanted to receive a Dear John letter from home.

I figured it was Mel telling me how sorry she was but chose another man. Hell, maybe she made the right choice. Who wanted a one legged gimp around. I know I was feeling sorry for myself but I earned the right.

I decided to open the letters from Mel now. It wouldn't make much difference. In the first one all she said in the letter was she didn't move away and that she didn't love him. Also, she told me she had something very important to tell me.

In the second letter she said she made a mistake for not telling me about Dan but that's what she wanted to explain to me on Sunday. Again she said she had something important to tell me but wasn't going to tell me till she heard from me. I wondered what she had wanted to tell me.

The third letter was pretty much the same thing asking me to call her or at least write her. The fourth and last letter she wrote that she woke up scared in the middle of the night. She had this eerie feeling that something had happened to me. I looked at the date on the letter and it was the day I was injured.

After I was checked into Fitzsimons, I received a call from my parents, and they said they would be traveling to see me. They also said they had a surprise for me. I had to wonder what kind of a surprise you give a guy who just lost a leg.

My parents were crying when they came in to see me. I couldn't help having tears in my eyes also. They were always there for me and here they were traveling to see me.

"Hey, I'm ok. One leg is a little shorter than the other but I can live with it. In a few weeks I'll ready to start trying on an artificial leg. I might walk kind of funny for awhile but everything will be alright."

I was trying to be brave for my parents. Inside I hurt like hell. Lonely and empty, not knowing what I was going to do next.

"I guess being on the police force is out of the question." My parents knew I always thought I'd be a cop.

My dad looked at me. "Mike I've always thought that maybe someday you might want to work in the sporting goods business. Your mom and I were talking; we thought ‘Amore and Son Sporting Goods' sounds like a pretty good name.

"We could increase the size of the store and add inventory. I would have done it before, but it was a lot to handle with basically just your mother and me working there, along with Joe, part-time. What do you think?"

"Dad, I'd love to be in business with you. We can use some of the money I've saved up to help build."

"Don't worry about the money right now. You might need your savings for other things."

"I don't understand Dad, what other things?"

"The surprise we brought with us. Wait one minute." My parents walked out and in walked Mel.

I know I had mixed emotions when she walked in. "Is it safe for me to come in? Do you still want to see me? I have a lot to tell you and I want to start by saying I'm so sorry for not telling you about Dan. He's not part of my life since you saw him kiss me."

She was crying and came up to the bed and hugged me and put her head on my chest. "I'm so sorry for everything Mike. It's my fault that you went back to ‘Nam and got injured. If I had just told you everything when we were together none of this would have ever happened."

"You can't blame yourself for me getting hurt. I acted too quickly after seeing you and Dan together. It's just that your father said you were a couple and you might move away with him."

"Mike, I never lied to you and I never will. I'll admit that Dan and I had a relationship, and he did ask me to move to Indiana with him but I turned him down. I told him that it was you I loved. What you saw was a goodbye kiss."

"So, what is this important thing you said you had to tell me? I did read your letters a couple of days ago."

At that instant my mother came in holding a baby. He was dressed in blue. He couldn't have been more than a month old. Mom was crying again when she handed me the baby.

Mel Spoke, "You have a son. His name is Zachary. It's what you always said you would name your child. You always said it was a masculine name. Before you even think about it, he is your son. I was positive but I had blood tests done to prove it to you."

"God, he's so tiny," I said while holding him in my arms. Mel and both my parents were watching me.

"He was a month pre-mature. He came a month early. You see, his father was hurt in this horrible war and I was a wreck and wondered if my son would ever see his father." Mel had tears running down her cheeks.

My dad put his arm around her. "Everything is going to be fine Mel," he said to her.

He added, "I guess it's all up to Mike now. He's got a woman who loves him and a child to support."

"Mel, as soon as I'm able to walk down the aisle, would you do the honor of being my wife?"

Mom took Zack as Mel came to me and kissed me. "I love you so much and yes, I'll marry you." She was now crying some really big tears.

"Oh, by the way, just before you came in I was offered a job. I'm going to be a partner in a sporting goods store, ‘Amore and Son'. Maybe someday Zack might be interested in being the Son." We all smiled. It seemed that things were going to work out pretty well.

Epilogue:

I was released from the hospital four weeks later. I wore a prosthesis on my left leg, but I needed a cane until I got used to it. Since we already had the baby, our parents didn't mind us moving in together. About four months after that I was walking with hardly a limp.

I did help out at the store as soon as I arrived home from the hospital. We were already thinking of new ideas to improve the store. Rifles and guns were my specialty. We decided we would put in a shooting range for pistols, pellet guns, and .22s in the basement. We made arrangements with a nearby shooting club to provide a one month free membership to anyone who bought a rifle or shotgun from us.

Mel returned to work at the hospital. Her mom watched Zack while Mel was at work. We spent most of our evenings at home, just the three of us. As soon as Zack was asleep we made love. It felt so right the two of us being together. Weekends we went and visited our families.

We set up a date for our wedding and all our friends and family attended. When Mel and I stood up to dance at the reception there wasn't a dry eye in the place. I stuck to the slow dances for now.

Mel requested the song, ‘The Girl from Yesterday' she said it so reminded her of our situation.

She only knows the pain that comes from waiting for so long And she doesn't count the teardrops That she's cried while he's away Because she knows deep in her heart That he'll be back someday And she became the girl from yesterday

We were lucky. We were able to overlook each other's faults and work out our problems. We believe it was because we truly were in love and promised to keep our lines of communication open.

As our old friend ‘The Wanderer' always says, "Life goes on," and Mel and I were going to make the best of it.

Thank you for reading our co-authored story. Comments are welcome and appreciated—DG Hear & Jake Rivers