When Lust Turned To Love
written by:
Jay_Lloyd

I want to give a big thanks to the editor of this story, a very clever and patient lady called Bella Mariposa. Where this reads fluently and clearly, it is down to her. The rubbish bits are all my own doing.

I was thirty nine when I first stopped feeling young. I was sitting at a table in a pub watching a striking young woman I called Cat - a stranger until this day - walk to the bar to buy me a pint of Guinness. We had just played a game of pool and she had lost a wager for a drink.

Cat, or Mai, to give her actual name, was a twenty one year-old Asian/American student. She was just a tiny bit shy on the surface, but very feisty and sensual underneath. Cat was clever, quick witted and beautiful.

She was five feet, four inches of womanly curves, an hour glass stunner, with long black hair, brown eyes and the most gorgeous killer full-lipped smile I've seen it my life.

There is something so wonderfully alluring about seeing a really good looking woman wearing tight jeans, with shapely hips and a gently rolling ass, slowly walk away from you. And then there was that smile.

It could take your heart, that smile. It did mine, and in return, God forgive me, I think I snapped hers in two.

I'm Carl. Cat also sometimes called me Mr B, although she would never say why. I'm a white Englishman. I wouldn't be the ugliest guy in your local bar, but not the best looking either. I'm tall and slim, with grey eyes and dark hair.

From time to time, people tell me I look similar to an actor called Clive Owen, who starred in ‘Sin City' and ‘The International' among others, although I think we are only vaguely alike, and he is much more handsome. Maybe I could just stretch it enough to say I resemble Clive a little when he is tired and having a bad hair day.

It was a rainy Friday afternoon in Southampton when I first met her. She came into the pub to escape an early August storm. I was there having a couple of beers and games of pool with my friend Jeff.

The company I had worked at for five years in site management had just lost major contracts in the recession, and along with eighty percent of their workforce, I had been laid off. I hadn't really liked the job much, but the pay had been good.

Fortunately, I managed to get similar employment lined up, but it didn't start until December. Jeff was a self-employed car mechanic, and work was slack for him too: hence, the afternoon drinking.

There were two pool tables there, and playing on the other one were two young women. One was a cute, slim blond, and the other a more curvaceous, golden skinned, black haired girl, a real beauty, who gave me a lovely little smile both with her mouth and her flashing brown eyes.

I slammed in the black ball just after the beauty had defeated the blond. "I'll take you on in a winner's game," I suggested.

"Ok, and the loser can buy the winner a drink," she replied, in what I assumed was a North American accent.

I racked them up, she broke, and we were away. She was good, better then I, and got to the black first. It was a hard shot, as is was tight on a cushion at an acute angle. She moved right in front of me and bent over to take the shot. ‘Oh God,' I thought as her fantastic shapely ass - which was full, firm and rounded, clad in very, and I mean very, tight blue jeans - moved into my admiring view.

I exchanged an awestruck glance with Jeff. She took her time and wiggled her cute butt a tiny bit just before the stroke. I felt warm in the face. The black stayed in the jaws of the pocket, and I managed to finish her off.

She nodded and asked me what I wanted. I drained the last of my current pint and handed her the empty glass. "A Guinness, please."

While she went to the bar, Jeff and I sat down at a table. She returned with a smile on her face, carrying two glasses. She beckoned her friend to join us. "This is Ashley," she said.

Ashley gave us an unenthusiastic "hi" as she sat.

I looked at the beauty again after she sat. She was wearing a very baggy, mostly white shirt, which had a picture of a cartoon cat on it.

"And you are Cat I assume," I said.

"No, I am Mai," she said, with the smile peeking out a little again.

"But Cat suits you."

"Well, whatever, I guess," she said, with a shrug and a bigger smile.

She looked so pretty sitting there, and we chatted more. Mai and Ashley were students at a local university, where they were doing a short summer preparatory course for foreign students. The bored Ashley was from Canada, and the lively eyed Cat from California.

I was getting a few little subtle flirting signs from Cat. She stroked her hair, and smiled at me, while maintaining nearly constant eye contact. She leaned back in her chair, opening her body invitingly.

‘She just likes to flirt,' I thought. ‘There is no way I would get lucky enough to have any hope with an exquisite young beauty like her. You are way too old Carl, you have no chance.'

Ah, but I did have a chance, as it happened. Cat and Ashley had to brave the rain, and leave, to return for a part of their course. As we were saying goodbye, she took her mobile out and looked at it, and then me, rather meaningfully. I took the bait.

"Maybe we can do this again? You might even get to win next time Cat," was the best line I could come up with.

"Sure, that could be fun," she replied, smiling. We exchanged numbers and the girls left.

We went outside to the beer garden and smoked some cigarettes, hiding under a ‘sun' umbrella to escape the rain. "I don't believe that," Jeff said. "You've just been pulled, mate, by probably the best looking woman in this city... fucking unbelievable. You can buy me a couple of pints on the back of that kind of luck." So I did.

My luck held later that day as well. I was rang by a company I'd had an interview with the previous week. I managed to get three months temporary work, covering sick absence at a big tool hire firm, doing some stock control and delivery arranging. It turned out to be a badly paid job with asshole bosses, but still, such is life.

Cat played on my mind that evening. I'd been, in one way or another, chasing after the opposite sex since I was about fourteen, and she had to be the best looking woman I had ever personally seen, let alone dated. It seemed absurd to me that I could be of interest to her.

I sat in my little second floor one bedroom apartment, which I purchased on a mortgage three years ago for far more than its current value. Even so, love it. It is by the waterfront. There is a sliding patio door, leading out to a tiny balcony overlooking a yacht marina and a small commercial quay. Sometimes, I like to sit there drinking tea and smoking, watching the boats return to their berths as the sun lowers and dies.

I tried to keep cool, and managed to hold off contacting her until the following morning. I texted her, asking if she wanted to meet up that evening. I went to a cricket game with Jeff in the afternoon. There was no reply from Cat all day, and I was thinking about phoning her tomorrow. I figured if I couldn't get hold of her, I'd assume she was ignoring me, and that I would be realistic and give the idea up.

I was just about to go out and find a few beers, when Cat rang me. She sounded a bit flustered. "Hi Carl, I'm really sorry I didn't get back to you, my battery had run dead and I didn't realise. I only just got the message you sent this morning. I hope you're not pissed with me?"

"No, of course not! It's great to hear from you," I reassured her. We arranged to meet in an hour at club near to the halls where she was staying. Cat looked great in a mostly black outfit and heels, with silver earrings and a chain. I suppose I looked dated, like some sort of dinosaur, with my straight jeans, black shoes, white button down cotton Oxford shirt and rumpled dark brown leather jacket.

It was crowded and noisy. Loud music of a kind I detested, but that Cat seemed to like, blasted out. Her soft, slightly parched sounding voice was especially difficult to hear. Yet we got on well enough that she didn't pull back when I leaned down to kiss her for the first time. In fact I got the whole arms around the neck and tongue in the mouth treatment in return.

We sat in a secluded corner of the club, me with a bottle of lager and Cat with a diet coke and Jack Daniels and necked like teenagers. Well, she wasn't far removed from being one, even if I long ago lost that excuse. She had a hungry mouth, and her brown eyes flashed dangerously.

"Cat you look fantastic. I think you are very beautiful," I told her. She must have heard that a good few times, but she liked hearing me say it, judging from her smile. The evening rolled into night, and I had some more beers and she a few more diet coke's minus the Jack Daniels.

"You look almost as hot as the actress Carla Gugino did when she walked across her apartment in the film Sin City," I told her. I was rewarded with a giggle and a little play punch on my arm.

I figured it was time to bite the bullet. "Do you want to come back to my place for a coffee Cat?"

"Yeah," she said, and kissed me again.

We got into a taxi to go back to my apartment. In the back seat, my arm was around Cat's shoulders and my mouth was stealing a few kisses. I only noticed the relatively short journey had ended when the driver coughed loudly. I slipped him a note and didn't take the change.

I tapped the code for the outer security lock, and we took the stairs up to my apartment. When we got inside, I pulled her to me. Cat wrapped her arms around my neck and I leant my head down. Our lips met and our hungry tongues ran over each other and explored. I pulled her tightly into me and her fine full breasts squeezed into my lower chest as my now straining cock pushed against the area of her pussy mound.

When the kiss and embrace ended, we stood back. Our eyes were fixed together for a moment, and then Cat dropped hers and looked at the obvious bulge in my jeans.

"You're stunning," I said. She smiled. There was no need for further talking now.

I took one delicate hand and led her into my bedroom, turning the light setting to three-quarters strength. I sat on the edge of the bed and Cat positioned herself on my knee, throwing her arms around my neck again as we kissed slowly and tenderly. Her full lips were soft and sensuous, and her clever, darting tongue seemed ravenous. I slipped my hand inside her jacket and stroked her back.

She broke this kiss, saying: "Give me a minute, Carl," as left the bedroom briefly, closing the door. I pulled all my clothes off, except my sorely strained boxers.

When Cat came back, she stood before me, clad only in a lacy pink bra and matching panties. Her sheer beauty stole breath from my lungs. Cat's skin was golden and flawless. Her tummy was flat and narrow, before it curved out into the swell of her hips. Her legs were shapely, smooth and proportionately long.

She looked at my probably gaping mouth and flashed me a smile of lust.

"It looks like you are enjoying what you see," she said.

"Come here," was my reply, and she did.

That cunning tongue slipped back into my mouth as she melted against me. I held her right hand and guided it onto my pulsing cock, and she rubbed it gently through the material. I ran my hands down her back and cupped the firm cheeks of her shapely rounded ass.

The kiss broke. Cat stood back, bowed her head slightly, moved her hands to her back, unclipped the bra and tossed it aside. Her full breasts sprung free and proud. They were bigger than I expected, round and high and topped by large, hard, dark nipples.

I knelt and put one into my mouth, rolling my tongue on it, and Cat emitted a light, barely audible moan. Her head seemed to loll back and I sucked firmly on the delightful dark cherry, while rolling its twin between my fingers.

She pulled back and glided my boxers down below my knees, before I slipped them off. My cock was jutting out and she stole a glance at it, before running her hands slowly all over my upper body.

Cat giggled when I picked her up and lay her face down on the bed. I pulled her panties off, and she drew her knees forward, so that her magnificent full buttocks stuck out in invitation. I knelt forward and kissed around the cheeks, inducing more giggles from Cat.

She quickly flipped over onto her back, and let her legs spread wide. Her pussy was shaven smooth and the lips were glistening in their flowery folds. I got my mouth between her sleek firm thighs and licked the length of her pussy up and down before zeroing in on her hard little clit, where I traced out an alphabet with my tongue.

My cock felt as though it was bursting. I sucked on Cat's clit, then slipped first one, then two fingers into her warm, wet, inviting tight cunt. I finger fucked her gently as I continued sucking and licking firmly on her clit, and was rewarded when her breathing became fast and shallow, before her whole body tensed as she let free an orgasm, wetting my fingers. I drew them to my mouth and tasted them: delicious.

Cat rolled over, on top of me, and cupped my balls in her hand, before dropping her head onto the pulsing hardness of my cock-head. She flicked her tongue around the tip, licked up and down my shaft, then took it in deep her mouth, and sucked me hungrily, while rubbing my balls.

I leant back, enjoying my little piece of heaven, watching as the raven haired beauty worked on me enthusiastically. I could have come then, but I held back, and gently pulled her mouth free from my cock.

I moved off the bed and got a condom from a drawer. "Give it to me Carl," she requested. I handed it to her, and she ripped the foil open and had me lie back on the bed with my head on a pillow. Cat moved above me and rolled it out onto my throbbing cock. Her eyes were dilated wide with lust, and they zeroed onto mine. She took my clad cock, rubbed it on her outer pussy lips, then oh so slowly lowered herself onto it, pushing down, taking it deep.

Cat sat still for a few seconds, savouring the feeling, and then rode me slowly at first, with a feline grace, then gradually faster, as she allowed my hands to play with her full breasts and erect, dark nipples. Cat tossed her head back.

I began thrusting strongly upwards with my hips to meet her rapid rhythm. Her mouth was open and she was sucking in oxygen fiercely as she fucked me hard and fast. She pushed my hips down flat with surprising strength, and followed her own pace, really grinding down on me, fucking me.

Her pussy tightened on my cock as her orgasm built to its climax. She bit her lower lip, then groaned, suppressing a scream as she shot upright and began to come, wetness flooding out from her.

I grabbed Cat's hips and powered into her, riding her through her orgasm. We then lay still, and with me remaining impaled deep inside we kissed sloppily and wetly. I rubbed a finger onto her stretched cunt lips, wet it, then reached behind and underneath and slipped it into her tight asshole, tickling her momentarily.

We lay together for a few minutes, and then I discarded the unfilled condom. I went to my refrigerator and retrieved two bottles of cold Beck's beer. I drank mine rapidly; the cold nectar both cooling and refreshing me, while Cat sipped at hers.

She rose from the bed, opened the curtains and stood for a couple of minutes, seemingly gazing out across the open water at moored boats, sipping idly at the beer. Anyone looking from the quayside in her direction would have seen a stimulating sight.

I sat staring at the view of her ass, with its shapely ripeness, and marvelled at the way her hips flared and flowed into her narrow waist. Hers was a body of soft feminine curvatures, devoid of straight lines. It was magnificent.

Cat placed the beer down and moved back across to the bed. We both knelt on it facing each other, and kissed, as she reached for my still hard cock and played with it as I caressed her breasts and plump nipples.

"You haven't come yet. It's your turn now," she said.

She kissed my forehead first, then nose, mouth again and chin. She slowly headed south with soft lingering kisses, tracing around my neck and shoulders, then sucked briefly on my nipples, and bit them gently. As she moved down to my stomach, my cock nestled between her full breasts. I looked and saw a tiny trace of pre-cum glisten silvery in the valley there.

Finally her clever mouth found the head of my cock. At first she sucked it slowly and softly, and then licked up and down the shaft, before, almost mockingly, she kissed her way back north, ending up by sucking my tongue.

Cat's hand found my cock again and wrapped a thumb one side of it and her fingers the other. She began to jack me off with slow firm strokes to start, then faster even firmer ones as my I thrust with her hand movements. I felt my breathing go ragged, and with a cry I blasted cum out in a curving arc, spraying onto her breasts.

Cat then moved down and placed my cock between her full tits, and milked the final drops from it. To finish, she leaned over and sucked the remaining cum into her mouth.

She laughed as she rubbed and spread some of the cum onto her smooth flat tummy and even onto her hidden belly button.

"I'm all messy now," she laughed.

"Well, we can soon fix that." I replied.

We rocked into the shower after that, soaping each slowly other under the warm jets. It was so erotic. I licked and kissed every single inch of her body in there, and she, nearly all of mine.

We towelled each other dry. She slipped another condom onto me and we fucked again. This time, I had her lean over the armrest of my sofa in the lounge, with her ripe golden ass pushed out invitingly. I got behind her, grabbed a hip in one hand and balled her long black hair in the other as I ploughed into her sweet tight pussy, and rode her hard. She was alternating in playing with her own nipples and rubbing her clit when she came, and I followed almost immediately, erupting massively.

I slipped out with an almost obscene, yet somehow charming slurping sound. Cat rose and turned and kissed me deeply again, while rubbing and kneading my butt cheeks like she was a baker working with bread dough.

I went to discard the condom. "I'm going to go back on the pill," she announced. "I want to feel you come inside me next time."

‘Next time,' I thought. ‘Great stuff.' I passed a mirror and saw a massive grin on my face.

I fetched myself another cold beer. When I returned to the bedroom Cat was tucked up under the bed covers, and looked close to sleeping. We had a last cuddle then fell asleep in each other's arms.

In the morning, I woke first. I made us two cups of tea and brought them back to bed. She wouldn't drink it, so I made her a coffee.

"That's better," she said. After drinking it, she pulled the sheets back, exposing that gorgeous, curvaceous body in invitation. Well, I didn't need any more encouragement, and we enjoyed a long slow fuck, and then a short fast one about thirty minutes later.

Cat had a very open, charming personality. She was so easy to talk to. We chatted about what we could do that day. She wanted to visit Stonehenge, and I agreed.

"Do you have a regular girlfriend?" Cat asked me.

"No, not at the moment, do you know any candidates to fill the vacancy?"

She laughed, and then looked a tiny bit serious. "You're not married or some shit are you?"

"No, but I was. Are you?"

"No I'm not, don't act dumb, and no, I have no boyfriend currently, although unlike you, I may have a likely candidate in mind."

We smiled together.

"Well, seeing as we are opening up a tiny bit Mr B, I can tell you that you're my fourth lover, and you may get to be my third boyfriend, that is, if you are very lucky and don't tease me too much."

"So you've had two boyfriends and three lovers before. Was one lover a one-nighter?"

"No," Cat replied. "It's like this... Boyfriend and lover number one was Kyle. I guess you could say we popped each other's cherry. We dated for about a year. It was nothing more than kids having fun, and then we drifted apart.

After Kyle, I dated Christopher, who was boyfriend and lover number two. I really loved him; well, I thought I did at the time. We were at the same college. He seemed an all round great guy for a few months, but then... the lies... the let downs. You understand?"

"Did he hurt you badly?"

"It was bad for a while. He was sweet, sexy and caring, well, for a period he was. I was pretty cut up. You realize?

"Yes I do Cat. I've been there too. So then, I'm in suspense, who was lover number three?"

"Well, um, ok, I'll ‘fess up. After I split with Chris, I was distrustful of guys; it was a kind of a ‘first cut is the deepest' thing, I guess you could call it. I was also really busy studying for my final papers, and didn't have the time or the wish for any invasive relationship. But," she said, blushing a tiny bit, "I have a very high sex drive. So...."

"So?" I replied, laughing a little.

"Ah, don't laugh at me," she chastised me, but giggled a little herself. "So I got myself a fuck-buddy."

Just to tease her, I pretended I didn't understand what she meant.

"Ok, what that means is a person you just meet and have sex with. No strings, no dependence either way. No holding hands and thinking about a shared tomorrow. You just meet for sex. I hooked up with a guy from the internet, called Josh. He was twenty nine, so a bit older than me. He was a business high-flyer and had no time for a meaningful relationship. The sex was good. Josh was not selfish in bed, if you get me. We used to meet on Wednesday evenings and sometimes on Sunday afternoons for an hour or two of sex. Then after a while, I realised I liked him as a person, so I ended it."

We talked more, and she opened up about herself and her background. Cat described herself as Asian American. Her father's family were all ethnic Japanese. Her mother was mixed race, mostly Asian but some part Mexican and European too. She seemed an exotic blend to me. She was certainly a beauty.

She was raised mostly in California, but had also lived short-term in a number of major cities across America. Her father had a high powered finance job for a big pharmaceutical firm, and followed any career advancement opportunity slavishly. Cat didn't like moving to new schools and having to make and then lose new friends a number of times in her childhood.

"It made me feel rootless Carl."

She had an older brother, following in Dad's footsteps, and a much younger kid sister who made her smile whenever she mentioned her name. She described her Mom as kind and loving, and her Dad as a bit cold and controlling, although very loyal.

"Why did you come to England Cat?" I asked her.

"English literature Carl; I've loved it for years. You could say it's my ‘thing.' I love writers such as Austin, the Bronte sisters, some Shakespeare, all of the classic stuff, Hardy and Dickens and others. I have my degree in it, so I thought I may as well come here to the place itself in for further studies. I'll do a Masters in maybe two years, and then I'll probably go home and teach Lit. Well, that's the plan at the moment anyway," she laughed.

"It sounds a pretty good plan to me."

She smiled. "Maybe it is, but I'm still reserving the right to change my mind. Coming here was a big deal for me. It was sort of the first time I have chosen any path. Before, everything I have done has followed what my parents, well, my Dad, wanted. He was not keen on me coming here, he thinks it's pointless, and then there is the cost I guess. He still has to agree to me actually starting full-time in October."

"Will that be a problem?"

"I don't know Carl. I'm going home for three weeks at the beginning of September. I will find out then I guess, but I want to stay here."

"You must find it strange being in a different country and culture. Are you a very patriotic girl Cat? I'm only asking as you don't wear stars and stripes panties."

She lightly punched my shoulder in mock anger. "I am kind of patriotic, but not as much as I used to be."

"Why not Cat?"

A sad and slightly angry look marred her pretty face. "Well, Dad never told me about this, but last year I found out that his parents were amongst many thousands of ethnic Japanese people that were put into internment camps during the Second World War, even though they were loyal American citizens. My grandparents lost a successful business, and when they were eventually freed they were completely broke and had to start again with nothing. Some of their - and by definition my - relatives died in those camps through medical neglect. So Carl, yes I am patriotic, but not blindly so."

This was deep stuff. ‘There's a lot more to you than your beauty and quick wits,' I thought. Cat looked distracted, lost in reflection.

"How is this course suiting you?" I asked, for the want of something better to say.

Another thoughtful look: "Well, let's put it this way, I now know the differences in essay writing and bullshit academic practises between the US and British systems, so it's now no use. In fact, it's good you asked me that, as it has helped me decide to quit it."

"Really?"

"Yup, I'll quit on Monday and try to get some of the fees back."

"Good luck with that," I said, "You will need it."

Well, she did quit, and also failed to get any money refunded.

After that first night, Cat pretty much moved in with me. I never asked her to, and she never asked if she could. It just happened organically. The usual pattern to things was that she would come around to my apartment some time after I had finished work. We tended to fuck, go out for a meal and then a drink, or go out for a meal and a drink, then fuck... happy times.

She would always stay the night. When I left for work in the mornings, Cat tended to hang out with her friend Ashley, when Ashley had free time, surf the internet, or read. Her mind was voracious; she seemed to tear through books in an extraordinarily short time. She and Ashley also liked exploring new places, although their financial situations meant they couldn't roam very far.

Bit by bit, Cat moved all of her admittedly few belongings and clothes into my place. She also began to move things around in my apartment, and was full of suggestions on how to improve it. Her tastes were surprisingly minimalistic. I was never much of a homemaker, so I was happy enough to let her get on with it.

One evening when we were in bed after just having just made love, Cat propped herself up on an elbow and gave me a meaningful look. "I like you because you are brave enough to be honest, and you are never deliberately cruel to people, although you tease me too much sometimes. Also, I adore that you have sad grey eyes and when you go to kiss me I close my eyes and feel my tummy tighten. Oh, yeah, and to stroke your male ego, I like your big cock."

I replied. "Well, this is the best I can do Cat. I like you because you are smart and funny. Your mind is always searching, and you are beautiful and great to talk with. You also fuck like a train. Is that enough?"

She laughed and then hit me on the head with a pillow. "Try a bit harder than that with the compliments next time Mr B."

The following morning, Cat was browsing through ‘The Lonely Planet Guide to Britain' and ‘Fodor's England' while I was leaving for work. "There are so many interesting places I'd like to see over here, I wish I could get around more and check some out," she said.

‘Screw it,' I thought. ‘Why not play fairy Godfather for once?' "Well, if I leave this crappy job maybe I can show you some of England from the back of a motorbike."

"Don't be insane. You can't do that."

"It's summer Cat. You are young and I am not. I'm going to chuck this job in today and have some free time. I will be on good money from December anyway. Why not enjoy ourselves?"

My mortgage and regular bills were nearly manageable for a few months with what I already had in the bank, so I just needed some cash to enjoy spending time with Cat.

I've never been a great one for collecting material possessions, the exception being that I owned two classic British Triumph motorbikes, a 1966 TT Special, and a 1973 T100R Daytona. I had bought them both cheaply when they were in conditions of total neglect, and I spent loving time and money restoring them as well as I could. Well, my friend Jeff actually did most of the restoring, but still.

"I can only ride one at a time," I told Cat when she told me I was "crazy" to think of selling one.

I sold the Daytona to a specialist dealer for a nice few thousand. I could have gotten more selling it privately but didn't want the hassle or the wait. I slipped Jeff a thousand, which I thought might help keep him in beer for a while.

The bosses were none too pleased at me quitting with no notice given, muttering about being let down and not providing me a future reference, and that I violated my employment contract or some such crap. So what, they didn't treat their customers or employees with respect, so why should I have any in dealing with them? ‘Fuck ‘em,' I thought.

I bought Cat a leather jacket that looked ultra hot on her and a helmet. I was going to give her the things my last live-in girlfriend had left behind, but somehow figured that may not go down too well.

During the day, we rode the bike out all over the South of England. We walked through London streets in the summer rain, saw the dreaming spires of Oxford, the rolling Cotswold Hills and the Jurassic coastal cliffs and beaches of Dorset. We went to museums, historic villages and towns. She picked out tasteful little silver or brass ornaments for my apartment, which we bought cheaply from charity shops. We always ate out, at cafés, pizza joints, burger bars, pubs or restaurants.

We visited a few of my old friends, where I enjoyed the envious looks in their eyes and their incredulity at my fortune. "You lucky bastard," was a phrase I heard more than once when out of Cat's earshot.

She was a smart young woman, and her mind was ever inquiring. Cat sought out new experiences, and fed from others' knowledge. Her mind seemed to work a little bit like a snowball gathering more material as it gently rolled down a hill.

In the back of my mind, I sometimes thought our relationship would not last very long. There was the age gap for one thing, and the fact she was so gorgeous to look at. In a way, it was hard to go to a place with her and watch heads turn. Or to go to the bar to order a drink and find some guy trying to hit on her when you return to the table. ‘One day she will find something, or someone, better than you Carl,' I thought. My defence mechanism told me I just had to enjoy this while it lasted, and to think of her as a joyous fleeting treasure, not a permanent one.

After returning home late when the sun had died, sometimes we would curl up on the sofa and watch DVDs, or she would pretend to enjoy listening to my musical collection. Mostly, we went to local bars and pubs where I drank Guinness or whisky and she diet coke, with a very occasional shot of Jack Daniel's in it. Or we went to the movies or lost money in a casino. After returning home, we fucked each other's brains out for hours.

The day most embedded in my memory was when we rode lazily deep into the country lanes of a beautiful Hampshire area called the New Forest. We had a meal and a drink in a pub garden full of flowers, then walked through a deserted hidden rural idyll. We made love just before the evening stole the daylight, as wild scents drifted in on the breeze.

We had ridden for hours earlier that day and decided to stride out the stiffness from our legs. We walked for maybe half an hour, coming across no other people, through some woods, alongside a meandering stream, until we found a small lake shimmering under the late afternoon sun, and rested. The air was hot and I felt warm and sticky, as well as horny yet again. "That water looks inviting," I said. "I feel like skinny dipping and getting cool."

Cat nodded and smiled at me. "Good idea, let's do it together."

"Sure," I agreed. Very rapidly I pulled my shirt over my head, flicked off my shoes, and pulled my socks, jeans and boxer shorts down, finishing while Cat was still in her bra and panties. I saw her look at my semi-hard cock before I turned and ran into the water. It was not deep, but it felt shockingly cold when I dipped my head under the surface. I turned to see her ripe naked body following me in. All too soon, she leant down, so that her sweet smooth mound and swaying hips were below the water level, and then she bent her knees further so that her full breasts were underwater as well.

"Ahhh, it's freezing Carl!"

"Yes it is." I moved to her, put my hands around her waist and pulled her upright, so the water was only thigh high. "I know a way to warm you up though."

"Oh really, you do surprise me," she laughed. I moved my lips gently down onto hers, melting them together in a long kiss as I ran my hands up and down the glossy skin of her back. Then she moaned softly as I cupped her breasts and rolled the nipples between my fingers.

My cock pressed against one of her hips. Cat ran one hand through my hair and with the other, reached down and stroked along my cock's length, then cupped my cold tightened ball sac, squeezing and pulling tenderly and loosening and warming me up there. I lowered my mouth onto a hard plump nipple and sucked it hungrily.

Then I lifted Cat up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her hands around the back of my neck. Her smooth pussy mound was lined up with my cock. She nibbled my ear gently as my cock entered her opening. The water matched her own wetness as I sunk my iron hard pole fully inside her. The cold of the lake water and the heat of Cat's body formed an abundance of sensation that teased my body.

As much as we could, with me holding her aloft, we rocked our hips back and forth, but I sensed both of us wanted more friction, an increased power, in this lovemaking. Still holding this position, I walked us out of the lake while she squeezed my cock with her strong pelvic muscles. I moved towards a grassy embankment.

I lay her down gently on the slope, in a position where her head was a foot or so above her feet. She drew her knees up slightly and widened them as I rode her deep and fast, really hammering into her. Cat moaned softly. The sun gave her skin a golden sheen as her breasts shuddered up and down. I leaned forward and sucked on her big erect nipples one at a time.

Her pussy was so tight and wet. Cat's nails dug harshly into my shoulders. I felt her body tighten briefly like a bowstring and her cunt flooded juice. I rammed a brutal last thrust, burying myself deep inside her and let a torrent of cum loose from my balls to soak her further.

We both exhaled noisily in completion, and as my head found its resting place between her welcoming breasts, she ran her fingers through my hair.

"I love you Carl." This was the first time she said it.

"And I love you Cat." It made me happy, deep inside, to hear and say those words.

Riding back home, the nasty, but sometimes wise, inner voice that hides inside my head spat out cynical thoughts. ‘She's a gold digger, only saying she loves you because you're spoiling her with attention. She's just an immature kid, and says that to every guy she dates. It's meaningless, so don't trust her. She'll be gone in a week.'

Perhaps Mr. Cynical was right, but I chose to ignore him.

I woke Cat up early one morning, with the sound of my hacking cough. What I had thought was just an annoying, mild virus, was lingering and worsening. My chest was beginning to hurt quite badly sometimes, not during, but after, exertion. I seemed to be losing some weight, and it showed, as I was slim to begin with.

"Carl, you need to see a doctor. That cough is terrible," Cat said, with concern written in her eyes.

"It's nothing that I haven't had worse before. It will pass in a few days," I replied. I had made it a life goal to try and avoid doctors like the plague, wherever possible.

"It's getting worse. Don't be stupid, do something about it! Also, you should cut down on the cigarettes. You smoke far too many every day."

"I'm going to quit after my birthday in December. I'll get nicotine patches, and summon up willpower from somewhere."

Although this was actually true, Cat gave me a dismissive, sideways glance. ‘At least it's not having a negative effect on our sex session,' I thought. And like the fool I was, I did nothing about the lung annihilating cough.

Time sped by all too quickly, and soon it was only six days before she had to travel home for three weeks.

Returning home from a store in the evening, with coffee and milk - Cat would never even try tea - I caught the end of an obviously troubling phone call. Cat was in tears and shaking slightly as she replaced the receiver.

She ran to me and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms round her and held her close. "What's wrong Cat?" I asked, gazing at her tearstained face.

"I phoned home to speak with my Mom and kid sister, but Dad answered. He found out I left the pre-university course and he was angry with me. He is saying he will not pay for my studies here because he doesn't approve of my attitude. I am in bits. I tried to explain things to him but he would not listen. Then I told him about you, and it made everything worse. He was shouting at me, telling me the sooner I got back home, the better."

I stroked her hair and kissed her. "Ok, this won't mean much now, but things usually don't end up as badly as you think. When you get home and have time to talk with him when you are both calm, it may end up being ok."

"Thanks for trying to help Carl, and for always being so sweet with me." I tried, but failed, to stop her tears. I remember thinking I may well soon see the last of her. To try to take some of the sting out of her crappy phone call, I said, "I'll tell you what Cat, as you are only here a few days more, we could we take in a short European trip; perhaps France, or Amsterdam? Somewhere close enough to be able to travel to on the bike. If you like that idea, then it's your choice where. Ok?"

Her beautiful, but sad, face lit up. Cat's eyes cleared their mistiness in a few seconds. A big, warm smile turned the position of the sides of her mouth from down to up. She looked thrilled, and then deep in thought.

"That sounds great Carl, but where?"

I laughed, then said slowly, in a mock chastising voice, "It... is... your... choice."

"Hmmm. Bruges, Paris or maybe Edinburgh? Shit, this is difficult."

To help Cat out of her dilemma, I got a map of northwest Europe out, and gave her a pin. I covered her eyes with my hands and she stuck it in randomly.

She picked Ireland, so we started off early the next morning. I attached some panniers to the bike and filled them with luggage, more of her stuff then mine.

We had a clear run on the roads, and caught the ferry from Wales to Rosslare Port in Ireland. We found a tourist office and booked a small cottage in County Wexford, near a beach close to the Hook Peninsula. The cottage was tiny and cramped, but cosy. It was a beautiful part of the world, full of both rugged coasts and flat sandy beaches.

The days passed quickly. We explored the scenic, rolling landscapes of the rural areas, and small towns on the bike, or swam in the sea. In the evenings, we found a couple of pubs where local musicians would jam, and the Guinness flowed long into the wee small hours. The locals were friendly too.

On our last evening, we walked alone on a beach as the daylight was dying, and then kissed in the salty water. As we strolled the short distance back to the cottage, I was transfixed by the sight of Cat's ass rolling as she walked. It drove me crazy. When we got inside I pulled the giggling beauty into the bedroom.

I pulled her bikini bottoms down, bent her over and stuck my tongue straight into her asshole. Cat giggled.

"I just love your ass babe. Can I fuck it?"

"Well, you can if you really want to. You can fuck it. Be my guest."

"I didn't know you had ever done this before Cat."

"Oh yes!" Josh did my butt plenty of times. I knew you would want to as well, but it's taken you longer than I thought to get round to it."

"Do you like anal sex?"

"Well, it's ok, as long as you use lube and are gentle with me. Your cock is thick."

Cat lay face down on the bed. I quickly looked around the property, but could find no lube, so I got some butter from the kitchen and coated my cock. She dropped to her hands and knees so that her firm, ripe ass was presented to me, and she wiggled in invitation. I knelt behind and got onto my knees, resting my cock between her full, golden butt-cheeks.

I moved my hands onto her hanging breasts, pinching those big, hard, dark nipples. I could smell the fine aroma of her sweet pussy juice, and I rocked my hips back and forth, spreading the butter over the entrance to her asshole.

Cat's asshole was so cute. I had to taste it again, swirling my tongue inside. Then I spread more butter on my fingers and worked first one, then two inside her, stretching the little muscular ring, widening it slightly.

She pushed her ass into me. "Please Carl, do it, I want your cock in my asshole. Fuck me," she groaned, and pushed her ass against me.

I put my hands on her butt-cheeks and spread them further apart, then placed my thumbs at the side of her glistening opening, widening it and readying it so I would easily be able to slide past the puckered ring with my hard cock.

I lined it up and began to push. There was some resistance, but Cat pushed back against me and the head of my cock soon popped in. She shuddered in some discomfort. I eased about half of the length in and kept it still for a minute, letting her adjust to it. Her ring began to relax and slacken a touch, so I fed more in very gradually, until I was buried balls deep in my young lover's ass.

Slowly, lazily almost, I began to rock my hips backward and forward. Cat moved with me, pushing back to meet my rhythm, and soon, we found a wonderful pace, fucking slowly and deeply. I pulled my cock right back out of her asshole, then pushed back into the warm, welcoming opening, several times, submerging my pole to the maximum on re-entry. I pushed her down, forcing her big breasts into the sheets, fucking her harder and faster.

Cat began to rub on her clit. I fed two fingers into her cunt, finger fucking its welcoming dampness as I rammed her asshole.

"Carl, Carl, Carl," she cried out, almost in a chant.

Her hand worked rapidly on her clit. I hammered into her, riding her hard, with as much brutal strength as I could muster.

Cat cried out, and her body shuddered and tightened. She came explosively, her wet pussy contracting tightly on my fingers, while her ass squeezed my cock. I, in turn, flooded her with cum.

When her butt had milked me dry, I pulled out. Her ass leaked a small trace of my cum. I lay beside her as she turned onto her back. She leant sideways and cuddled up to me as I eventually regained my ragged breath. My lungs felt in tatters.

"I love you Mr B, and I want to be with you always," she said, as I kissed her softly.

When we boarded the ferry for our return crossing, Cat quickly curled up and fell asleep on a soft chair. She looked peaceful and happy, and younger than ever. I felt ill. My chest was getting painful at times. I went to a canteen area and bought a tea and sandwich. It was ok, but I had no real appetite. After I ate, I wandered outside onto the deck for a cigarette.

The sun was out, and the air was salty on the wind. My chest hurt when I drew the smoke deeply into my lungs. This was bad. I coughed harshly, almost in a spasm. I moved into the restroom and washed my face. I coughed again into the sink. There was some blood on the porcelain, and I felt slightly faint.

When I returned to where Cat was sleeping, she had disappeared. I went looking and found her in a large bar area sipping on a diet coke, deep in conversation with a heavily pregnant woman. They looked happy, smiling, like old friends sharing good times, although they must have only just met.

Cat didn't notice me, so I didn't interrupt them. I ordered a small whisky. The main topic of their conversation was obvious. The woman pointed and then held her stomach. Then she put Cat's hand there too, letting her feel a kick. Oh, the look of joy on Cat's face.

I downed the drink. I ordered a refill and rapidly lost £10 on a gambling machine, and wandered over to watch some old ‘classic' boxing fights on a sports channel playing on a giant screen. ‘Marvellous' Marvin Hagler was destroying Tommy ‘Hitman' Hearns in a brutal war. I remembered watching the fight on television with my Dad and my younger brother Darren when it originally took place, springtime 1985. I was fifteen then. Cat was still three years away from being born.

After the fight, Darren persuaded our Dad to let him join a boys sporting club, where there was a boxing gym. Darren's skills improved quickly, and in time, he became quite good. He won a couple of trophies and medals for youth boxing, and a good few more after he joined the army. He was a tall, hard hitting middleweight, a bit like a less skilled version of Hearns.

Darren was a sergeant when he got blown to bits by a mine in Afghanistan in 2002. I had his boxing memorabilia and his military medals in a cupboard in my apartment. Like him, they deserved a better resting place.

Cat found me later, as I sat musing over my lost brother. She sensed my mood, but remained quiet. We wandered out to the open top deck to enjoy the warm day, but I still had to fight off a shiver. Her head leant into my chest and she cried as I talked to her about Darren. I dried her wet eyes with my handkerchief.

"Do you think about him much?" she asked.

"Mostly when I attend a sports event, or see someone order a bottle of lager in a pub. Every time I read in a newspaper about yet another British soldier dying in someone else's war. I remember him coming home for the first time after his basic training; tanned, fit and full of pride. He was my little brother. So, to answer you, yes, I think about him a lot."

Cat kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand tightly. There seemed nothing more to say.

A while later, her beautiful face formed into a smile as she watched a mischievous tiny boy with a grin on his face, obviously a new walker, as he tried and failed to escape the loving grasp of his mother's hand.

It made me think about what was going on inside Cat's head. Her nest building in my apartment, and the interest in the pregnant woman and the young kid spelt mother wish to me, although I may well have been wrong. She hugged me very tight and seemed excited while watching the kid's antics. Alarm bells went off in my brain. ‘Oh, you lovely, silly, beautiful girl,' I thought. ‘Don't waste all that love and your future on me.'

Later in that day, after we arrived home, Cat dug out Darren's military medals and a couple of good photographs of him. She told me she intended to get them framed together. She also found some of my old pencil sketches from an art club I attend. Some were of a nude female model who had posed for us there. They intrigued her.

"Draw me Mr B," she said. So I did.

She stripped and sat her magnificent body back on a chair, turning slightly to one side. I got an A3 pad and some pencils and gave it my best shot. It took about an hour before I was content with my efforts. Bless her, she sat in a perfect mode. Only her gentle breathing and the occasional glimmer of a smile permeated her composed stillness.

"All done beautiful one," I told her. She rose eagerly to see the drawing. It was probably one of the best I had ever done I thought, although with my very limited talents that is still not a particularly high recommendation.

"I love it," she said. "It's great. You can draw me like that again and even paint me. Promise me?"

"Ok, I do promise you Cat. I love that you like it, and thank you, it was a pleasure for me to have such beauty to draw."

"It was a greater pleasure for me Carl. Feel how much."

She took two fingers of my right hand, and placed them onto her pussy lips. She rubbed them there. Cat moved my fingers to my mouth, and I sucked off her delicious cream

I dropped to my knees before her. She positioned her feet farther apart and I lapped around the soft folds of her cunt lips with my tongue. I slipped it into her warm, welcoming haven and shaped it so I could drink as much of her nectar as I could. I could sense her knees trembling slightly and her breathing go ragged, and she placed her hands on my head.

I pulled my tongue out and positioned my lips in an ‘O' shape over her little pearl of a clit, and sucked it long and tenderly. Her body tightened up, and Cat groaned softly before she came. I lapped up more of her sweet juice.

I picked Cat up and carried her to bed, laying her on her back.

We fucked slowly missionary style: me on top, her on her back with her legs spread. I rode her balls deep every thrust, with my hands under her ass, pulling her up to meet my movements. We hit a slow sweet rhythm. Our tongues joined together, rolling in each other's mouths. I told her she was beautiful and special, then slammed her hard and fast until I climaxed with her, shooting waves of cum deep inside her tight, wet, glove of a pussy.

We had a long cuddle, and although my energy levels were shot to hell, I went to my refrigerator and got a cold beer for myself and a diet coke for Cat. I then went to the bathroom and started to run a bath with some herbal bubble making liquid in it.

I had a smoke, and my chest punished me for it again, but the steam rising from the bath eased it. Cat got in too, taking the end where the taps can stick in your back. ‘Now that's a caring lover for you,' I thought. I hadn't shaved for two or three days and Cat commented on it.

"I don't like your face all bristly; it rubs when we kiss." She didn't mention it rubbing between her thighs when I ate her sweet cunt out, but such is life, and I let it lie. Cat got out of the bath and found a disposable razor. She got back in, spread some of the bubbles on my face like they were shaving foam, and very slowly and tenderly shaved my face. When she was satisfied, she nodded and placed a long loving kiss on my mouth.

"Well, now you can let me shave your little puss in return, seeing how you like to be smooth," I suggested.

"Hmmmph, no way," she replied, with transparently faked annoyance. "One, I did it myself yesterday, so it doesn't need doing, and two, if you think I'd trust an old Limey with a razor down there, then you are way wrong!"

I stuck my tongue out, and told her she was, "A big baby."

Leaving the bath, we dried each other thoroughly. I ordered a large pizza for home delivery. Cat ate about eighty percent of it as we watched a frantic and exhausted Jack Bauer doing his stuff on a 24 DVD. With his haunted look, tired face and dark circles under his eyes, he reminded me of the face that greeted me in a mirror earlier. I suddenly felt desperately ill now and totally dog tired, so I left her to her viewing and went to bed. I was in a deep sleep within moments.

Well, even the most beautiful of clear blue skies have clouds waiting to drift in from thousands of miles away, and the next dawn meant the day of Cat's return home to California.

I woke at eight o'clock, brewed some tea and sat drinking it as I watched her gorgeous sleeping face. My skin felt hot and clammy, and my chest hurt badly, although I hadn't even lit the first of the day's cigarettes yet. I went for a quick shower, coughing up blood and mucus crap from my lungs. ‘Yup, lung cancer,' was my thought. The strange thing was that I didn't feel sad, or angry, more resigned and accepting.

I sat on a chair by the bed and looked again at the still sleeping Cat. ‘It's time for you to think Carl,' I told myself. I was totally in love with Cat, feeling a greater wealth of emotion for her than I have ever known, or thought I would ever know.

What is the greater expression of love? Is it to loyally stay, body and soul, with one person for a lifetime, facing whatever happiness or pain comes your way together? Is it the totality of joy you can give and share through physical lovemaking? Or, is the greater act of love one human can have for another the act of setting them free from sadness?

She woke, rubbed her eyes, looked around, saw me and smiled.

"I'll set you free," I whispered.

"What did you say Mr B?" Cat asked me.

"Oh, nothing much babe. Come on Miss sleepy-head, get up, get washed and get dressed, we have to get you to a plane."

"Carl, there is one thing I need you to do for me."

"What's that?"

"Ok, put your hand on your heart and promise that you will see a doctor within two days."

"I do promise you that Cat."

On the long ride to the airport, my brain was spinning in confusion, but an idea had formed: ‘It will be short but brutal, and I will hate myself afterwards, but I am going to set you free,' I thought. ‘I will make you hate me Cat.'

We got there with enough time to go to a quiet area in the corner of a large food hall before the check-in time. Cat's eyes were misting up a bit when she brought two coffees to our table. "I know it's only going to be three weeks Carl, but I will miss you like hell."

I feigned indifference, saying nothing yet.

"Well, I'll tell you one thing," she said. "If Dad won't help me out financially it won't matter. I'm coming back and starting on my uni course and living with you anyway."

I steeled myself to look cold. "Oh, so you expect me to pay out more money on you then, do you?"

"No Carl, I will get part-time work. You won't have to pay a cent."

"I doubt that Cat. It seems to me you have spent your whole life taking money from your Dad. That's your pattern, isn't it? You just find people to finance you?"

She was hurt. "How can you say that?" she asked, with tears in her eyes. "I know you spent money on me, but I never asked you for anything."

"You didn't need to ask. You used your looks and your sex appeal to get what you wanted. And guess what? The appeal has worn off."

Her face flushed first in anger, then in sadness. "Why are you saying these things? We love each other Mr B."

"Don't call me Mr B, that's so immature. Look, I've been thinking about things. You were fun Cat, but in the end, you are just a nice piece of young ass. We had great sex, yes, but don't confuse that with love."

She started crying now, with big tears rolling down her beautiful face. "Just stop this, I KNOW you love me Carl."

"I don't love you. Guess what? That's what I say to hot young meat to keep them sweet. You are just one in a long line, you stupid kid. I'm glad you are going back to America now, as I'm getting bored with you. Take my advice, don't come back. There is nothing for you here. It's time I found some fresh pussy anyway. You were fun to be around for a while, but there is no future in it."

"NO!" She was shouting now, and people were staring at us. "You are a liar. I KNOW you love me as much as I love you!"

"You are one deluded, silly, immature little girl. All you were was a fuck, even someone as naïve as you must realise that? Why the hell would I want to be with you? You are nothing more than an embarrassment, you stupid kid. Now fuck off and check in for your flight, and don't contact me again, ever! Do you understand, you mongrel piece of shit?"

Cat almost totally collapsed then. Her head fell onto the table and her body shuddered with hysterical sobs.

I stood up and walked off. I felt as though some good part of my body had just died inside of me. ‘It's kinder for her in the end, Carl,' I tried to convince myself, but I still felt terrible. I pulled the sim card from my mobile, snapped it and threw it and the mobile in a garbage bin in case she tried to phone me.

Like a rat, I slunk around a corner. I didn't leave then; I wanted to see if she made her check in. She was a smart girl, and I feared she might see through my behaviour and read it for what it was.

Eventually she rose, dried her tears and took her meagre baggage to the check-in point. I walked slowly back to the motorbike, rubbing some wetness from my eyes before putting on my helmet. I don't remember much of the trip homw. I was in a devastated daze, hating myself each and every second.

After I made my way home, I smoked some cigarettes as I sat watching boats return to the quay as the evening light died. I decided I couldn't face food and coughed up more blood. I looked in a mirror and saw a man with a thousand yard stare, then went out to seek a form of punishment.

I started in a few bars in Bedford Place, getting drunk and angry. I was looking to pick a fight with someone who would punish me badly, but failed, so I moved on, ending up in an area called St Mary's. There are two pubs close together there, the Kingsland Tavern and the Plume of Feathers. I was too drunk to remember which I was in when I found what I wanted.

There was a tough looking man drinking alone at the bar. He had a brooding and angry demeanour. When he ordered vodka, he did so in a harsh Northern Irish accent. He looked like he had walked in from a construction site. He wasn't tall, but he was very powerful. There was plenty of muscle packed around his shoulders, and his hands were huge. I walked up to him.

"Mate, I want to ask you a question. I'm going to build a monster for the sequel to the ‘Lord of the Rings' films. You are one ugly looking cunt. Can I use your face for a mould?"

"Fuck off," he replied.

"Seriously, I'll pay you £50 for it. Then you can buy a train and ferry ticket, and fuck off back to your shit hole tenement in Belfast."

This brought no verbal response, although he shifted on his bar stool, as though he was readying himself to rise to his feet.

I threw my drink over him and jabbed him in the face. I got my punishment then. He rose, and after delivering several massive punches to my face, he finally dropped me. He must have been a gentleman, as he didn't stick the boot in.

Somehow, I stumbled home. I looked into the mirror. I wasn't as drunk or hurt as I'd hoped. I just had a puffy eye blackening up, a split lip and some red swelling around my left ear. I coughed a little more blood, and felt tired almost to the point of collapse, so I had a good swig on a whisky bottle and slumped asleep on the bed fully clothed.

I woke in the morning with my head pumping pain, so I downed some codeine. I made an appointment with a taciturn doctor. He had old-fashioned square glasses, thinning grey hair and a full beard. He looked old and drained, like he should be retired. He raised a world-weary eyebrow when I told him I'd been losing weight and coughing blood. He put his stethoscope to my chest, nodded and mumbled to himself, and then made a couple of phone calls, making me an appointment at a hospital, for later that same day.

"If you got me a slot that quickly, then I must be a bad state," I said.

"It's probably not what you think it is," was his only comment.

After a mind numbing array of x-rays, blood tests, and scans, I found that I was lucky. It seemed that it wasn't the great unspoken cancer, it was tuberculosis. I was admitted to the busy, grey hospital for three weeks.

I declined rapidly into very poor health, but I don't remember much of it, just that I was treated with several different antibiotics and constantly felt sick, tired and heavily drugged. Everything was a bit of a blur. When the treatments stabilised, one doctor, a pretty, middle aged woman, told me I was totally debilitated, and would need ongoing treatment for some time, although I would likely recover well with good care and a little luck.

I got a break. The comprehensive medical insurance from my previous employer lasted until the end of the calendar year, so I was transferred to a private clinic to rehabilitate. And that's where I am now, a month later.

It's not like a hospital here; it's more like a grand country house, set in attractive grounds. There are doctors and nurses, but it's more laid back than a hospital, the food is edible and you get your own room. Mine overlooks the outskirts of some mixed woodland. I like to look out the window and see the autumn roll in, changing green leaves to yellow, copper and brown before they fall.

I haven't had the heart to shave since I last saw Cat, so I've grown a beard. I like it, especially the little bits of silvery grey in it. I tell myself I won't smoke again and that I'll only drink moderately and stop existing on junk food. Who knows? Maybe I will reform.

I eat what I'm served, take my medicines like a good boy and am feeling better. Yesterday, I even managed to walk a mile in the grounds, although I had to sleep afterwards. They have told me that I should be fit enough to return home in two weeks.

Earlier today, my friend Jeff paid me a very short visit. He had endured three hours of travelling on two different buses. I was handed four well worn Elmore Leonard paperback crime novels, a cheese sandwich and a porn magazine. He was wearing my favourite battered old leather jacket.

"I went to check on your apartment yesterday. It was cold outside and I wasn't wearing anything warm, so I borrowed it," he said.

"Any news?" I asked him.

"Not much. I've been arrested for drunk driving and there were fifty three messages on your answer phone, mostly from the same number. I tried to listen to one, but deleted all of them by mistake. Sorry mate."

"No worries."

"It's good to see you looking better Carl. The first time I saw you in the hospital I thought you might be a goner."

I gave him a wink. "Well, I doubt that will occur now, but if it happens, you can have the Triumph bike and the full crate of beer that's in the kitchen."

"Thanks, although the crate isn't full anymore."

I wrinkled my forehead. "I thought it might not be."

"Oh yeah. Jimmy the barman heard that some Irish guy had beaten you up in a pub in St Mary's. Do you want me to find him and give him a slap?"

"No Jeff. Leave it alone."

That was pretty much it. Jeff had to leave to get the return bus home. This place was so far off the beaten track there were only two each day. He gave me a wink and a slap on the back as he left.

To pass the time I'm playing cards with another patient, a young guy called Ryan. He has TB like me, except I think he is recovering much more slowly. Ryan thinks he's great at no-limit poker. He's not, but I let him beat me usually. We are sitting at a table by French windows and playing for pennies, and he has a won a whole £5 in total from me now.

There is a slim young Polish woman working here called Ania, who often serves the meals and drinks. Ania has wavy, lustrous light brown hair, high cheekbones, piercing pale blue eyes and a beautiful smile. She likes to flirt with us sometimes, and she is good at it. She pours us coffee and hits us with her killer smile before strolling away.

Ryan admits to me he fancies her like mad. I think it's a little bit more than just lust though. I know the look, you see. He's making plans about the best way to ask Ania on a date when his health improves. I haven't the heart yet to tell him that from the window in my room I see a guy in a big bad builder's truck pick Ania up after her day's work at six o'clock, and that they always greet with a kiss and hug. I'll let Ryan keep his good dreams.

Ryan bets heavily on the river card. I figure he has three queens. I've got a full house, beating him easily, but I fold anyway. My new mobile phone rings. It's an unknown number. I answer. "Hello."

A slightly parched voice with a familiar soft American accent replies. "I'm back Carl. It was hard to track you down, but I'm not giving up on you, and I mean never. Accept it Mr Beautiful." She cut the call.

I hear the sound of a vehicle stopping on the gravel outside. I get up feeling a bit dazed and look out from the French windows. A red taxi with one passenger has parked up. I feel joy and fear.