Desire Once Awakened
written by:
Jennifer

I feel sorry for guys having to try to figure out women - for we are complicated creatures. A woman can be completely content and have everything she wants on one level, while cravings and desires lie dormant and ready to be quickened on another level. This is a story of my own desires that longed to be awakened.

Let me start out by saying that I love my husband. He is everything that I ever dreamed of - my "knight in shining armor," if you will. He is devoted, adoring, and romantic. He doesn't take me for granted, and I never doubt that he loves me. He is handsome, and an attentive lover, always making sure to include my pleasure while pursuing his own. In short, he is the man of my dreams.

And that was the problem. For while most of me longed to be with a man who made me feel safe and beautiful and protected, there was another, smaller but no less real part of me that longed to be made to feel dangerous, at risk, on edge. I wanted to be taken by a lover, controlled by a man, made to submit to his desires without regard to my own or even to my comfort. It wasn't that my husband wasn't willing to play such a role. He is very aggressive and would do anything for me. We have played around with some light bondage and discipline. It was fun - but unfulfilling. The problem was that I knew he would never really hurt me - and so being with him, giving myself to him, could never contain any true risk. I know that all probably sounds pretty crazy, but it left me with an itch that I just could not scratch; a desire that I knew could never be met with my husband.

At first I was resigned to leave such desires to the realm of private fantasies. As I would spread my legs and feel my husband's tongue consume my pussy in foreplay, I would think about a dark, mysterious lover getting ready to take me for himself. As I would suck my husband's cock, I would pretend that I was being forced to do so by a strange man. As I would feel his dick penetrate my cunt, I would close my eyes and try to imagine what it would feel like to be taken by a man whose intentions were not entirely clear...or safe.

But fantasies can only satisfy so long. After a while, the thrill of the unknown becomes a siren song that cannot be resisted. I did not want to cheat on my husband - but I was also becoming increasingly aware that I had a desire that would have to be answered.

It was about that time that I met Russell. Russell was a senior-level consultant at my firm. I had seen him from afar, but he worked in an entirely different area than me, so our paths rarely had the chance to connect. Then, one day we were in a conference together. It was in one of those wood-filled rooms with a long meeting table, a room decorated to convey masculine power and accomplishment. I was one of only a few females in the meeting, but had not really thought about that fact, since I have never mixed "pleasure" with work. During the meeting, I was focused on the reports and spreadsheets in front of me, when I became aware of someone watching me. I can't explain it. I just knew that a man's eyes were on me in more than a passing fashion.

I was immediately self-conscious, and I did a quick mental check of my appearance. My hair was pulled back, my glasses were on, and I was wearing an ordinary business suit. Admittedly, it was a bit warm that day, so I had taken off the jacket during the meeting. And I never completely button my blouse in front, but I was always careful not to show too much cleavage. So, satisfied that nothing was inappropriate, I began to carefully scan around at the men across from me. That was when my eyes met his. As one of the leaders of the meeting, Russell was seated near the head of the table. But his attention was clearly not on the junior associate who was now speaking. He was staring straight at me. I caught his gaze, but was unable to match it, so I looked down. A moment later I looked back, and he was still staring straight at me, a slight smile on his face. I risked a quizzical look at him, and he only smiled more, before his gaze drifted down toward my breasts and then back up to my face.

That was all. The rest of the meeting passed uneventfully. But I was shaken. There was something about the way he looked at me, like he was looking into me to read my most secret thoughts. I felt violated, which seemed silly from only a look. Yet I also felt like I wanted him to see more. As the meeting broke up, I remained in my seat, unsure of my ability to walk steadily. As the men around me filed out, I felt one of them bend over to my ear. It was Russell, and he whispered, "You are a most fetching creature. But you have a whole different part of you wanting out, don't you." It was more of a statement of fact than a question. And it left me more shaken than ever. What could he see? How did he know?

Over the next few weeks, Russell and I seemed to run into each other more than ever around the office. We would be in the same elevator together, or in the same meetings, or walking down the same hallway. Always I felt his eyes on me, and always there was an electricity in the air. Finally, we began to find time alone together. Maybe it was lingering in a conference room after others had left, like that first day. Or sometimes he would stop by my desk at the end of work. But gradually, we began to talk and I began to get to know Russell more.

He really was quite interesting. Born in Scotland, he had moved to the United States after college. Divorced, he now lived alone. In his mid-fifties, he was about twenty years my senior. He liked the outdoors and spent most of his weekends out of the city. He had a mysterious confidence to him that definitely attracted me.

Unsure of myself, and not wanting to come off like a blushing schoolgirl, I made a point of mentioning my husband and my marriage early and often in our conversations. That never seemed to faze Russell, however. For the first days, our conversations were light and fun, but never overtly sexual as our first encounter would have indicated. Over time, however, we began to share more and more intimately. He told me of his past relationships with women and asked me about mine with my husband. He told me of exotic women whom he had romanced and bedded, but in a way that was more reminiscent than bragging. He even began to inquire about my own activities in the bedroom. I should have been more guarded, I suppose, but I found myself unable to resist any line of questioning. As his queries became more and more explicit, I answered him without holding anything back.

Then, one day as we talked over coffee after work, he challenged me. "What is missing from your relationship with your husband, Jennifer," he asked. "Nothing," I said. "Oh, I know you love him very much," he answered. "And I know you are happy with him. That is very clear. But it is also clear that there is something that you want that he is not giving you." I caught my breath. Talking with this man about life, and interests, and even sexual activities had been one thing. But now I stood at a cliff, a crossroads, and I knew instantly that if I took the next step there would be no turning back. I did not know what to say. But then he gently took my face in his hand, and looked into my eyes, and said, "Tell me." Slowly, with my heart feeling like it would beat out of my chest, I began to confide in Russell about my desire for danger, my need to be dominated and taken by a controlling man. He listened intently, not saying much, but weighing what I was saying. And I was saying a lot - Once I started down this path, it was like all that I had bottled up just had to come out.

When I was finished, Russell once again took my face in his hands. I was shaken, and he tenderly wiped a small tear from my eye. "I can show you the world you desire," he said, "but you need to think long and hard about it. I will not harm you, but if we were to do this, I would push and violate every boundary and every limit you think that you have. You would not be the same. You must make this decision on your own." With that, he kissed my forehead, stood, and walked out of my office.

I did not see Russell much over the next week. Nor did I sleep well. Every time I did sleep, my dreams were filled with dangerous rendezvous' with mysterious lovers. When my husband and I made love, I was all over him - but it wasn't him I was with. I was tortured. I knew what my mind and body wanted to do, yet I knew that I was risking so much. In the end, though, I knew what could not be denied, and I promised myself to see it through.

The next day at work, I made my way to Russell's office. His secretary was not outside, so I went directly in. He looked up and smiled when he saw me, motioning me in. I closed the door beside me and took a seat across from him. "I want to give myself to you," I said quickly, before my fear got the best of me. Russell smiled and came around the desk to sit next to me. "That makes me very happy to hear, Jennifer." We began to talk about how and when it could happen. "I am not looking for a quick one night stand," he said. "Such hurried time holds no interest for me." I told him of a girls' weekend out I had planned with some girlfriends from work. I could beg out of that and have an entire weekend away where my husband would not miss me. I felt so guilty make such secret plans - yet my excitement was growing by the minute.

We made our plans, and I prepared to leave. "Before you go, Jennifer," Russell said, "Please be so kind as to remove your panties and give them to me." I was terrified. This was it. This was the step from which there would be no return. I was also embarrassed - as we talked, my excitement had led my pussy to already become quite wet, a fact which would be unmistakable to Russell if I complied with his request. I knew I had to obey, however, so I reached under the skirt of my suit and slid my panties down. Doing so pulled my skirt up, of course, and I knew that Russell could see my stockings and much of my thighs. I produced the panties and gave them to him. He held them in his hand, smiled, and then tucked them into his suit pocket. "Soon all of you will be mine," he said in a tone laced with implication.

The rest of that week and the next crawled by. I was like student at the end of the spring semester, counting the minutes until summer vacation. Work seemed to drag, and I hardly saw Russell in the office at all. Finally, however, the appointed Friday came. I left work early so that I could go home and prepare. I took a long bath, and shaved myself completely in anticipation for my new lover. The silky smoothness of my legs and my pussy turned me on as I felt them with my fingers. I toweled off after my bath and dressed, picking out one of my favorite sets of bras and panties, and evaluating myself in the mirror. I put on a bright blue sundress I had bought that spring from Victoria's Secret, one that showed off my cleavage and my figure, and then I applied my makeup.

I ate a quick dinner and then headed out the door before my husband got home from work. I was afraid of the emotions I would feel if I saw him before leaving - for as much as I knew that I would love him forever, I was also sure that I needed to do this.

I drove to the appointed place to meet Russell and saw him waiting in his car. He got out to meet me, taking my one bag from me and placing it in the trunk before opening my door to let me in. Once he was in the driver's seat, he turned to me before starting the car. "This is it, my dear," he said. "You need to know that there is no turning back from here. I know you well enough now that I have a good idea of what you need. There will be no safe word, no refusals, and no disobedience. If we leave this parking lot, you are giving yourself to me, mind, body and soul, for this entire weekend. Do you want to go on?"

I knew that I should say, "No" and get out of the car. I should run back to my husband and rest contentedly in the life I had. But I could not. Softly, but trying to sound as confident as possible despite the butterflies in my stomach, I said, "I want this, Russell." With that, he started the car and we were off. We soon left the city behind and started to climb into the mountains. He told me that he had a cabin there that would serve perfectly for the weekend. In about an hour we were there. It was beautiful, the idyllic mountain lodge situated among pines and hemlocks.

Russell opened the door and showed me in. "Why don't you relieve yourself and freshen up. I will get wood for a fire. Be waiting for me in the center of the room when I return, and we will start." I did as he said, and after exiting the bathroom made my way to the center of the large great room. Russell entered the room behind me and I heard him say, "Stand completely still." He came up behind me, and I felt his presence fit next to mine. He encircled my waist with one of his arms while his other hand held my face from behind. I leaned my head back into his chest, breathing hard with excitement. "You are a very sexy woman, Jennifer. I am honored that you have shared so much of who you are with me over the past several weeks. But this weekend, you will share everything. There will be no part of your body held back from me. I will see it all, taste it all, possess it all. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I panted. "Good. Then close your eyes." I did as I was told and felt Russell place a silk scarf over my eyes as a blindfold. My lips were dry, and I licked them. Then I heard him say, "Raise your arms above your head." I obeyed after only the slightest moment of hesitation, and I felt Russell begin to bind my wrists with some sort of rope or cord. When my wrists were tied, he must have looped the rope through some sort of hook or pulley in the beam in the ceiling, for soon I felt him begin to pull the rope taut, pulling my arms straight up above me and forcing me onto the balls of my feet.

"Yes," I heard Russell say with unmistakable hunger in his voice. I felt him once more behind me, only this time he reached around me and began to fondle my breasts. Gentle at first, he soon increased in urgency and intensity. I knew that I was crossing a huge line. In my eight years of marriage to my husband I had to this point been completely faithful. Even in the fantasies we had explored and acted on, it was always us together. I had never even so much as kissed another man since my wedding day - and now here I was surrendering my entire body to one.

I felt Russell reach for the buttons at the front of my sundress. With both hands, he pulled the dress apart, ripping the buttons from the cloth. I could hear them hit the ground. My breathe froze in my mouth as I then felt metal against my back and realized that Russell was using scissors to cut the dress from me. "No turning back," he said. Soon I stood, arms raised and held above me, in only my bra and panties before a man who was a stranger to me until a few weeks ago and whom I had never even so much as kissed.

I could once again feel Russell's gaze on my body. "Your husband is a lucky man, Jennifer, for you are truly a beautiful woman. But this weekend you will give yourself to me in ways you have never given yourself to him or to any other man." He touched me once again, tracing his fingers lightly over my body. First my shoulders, then my back, then down to my ass. I felt him move around to stand in front of me, and then his fingers lightly followed the line of my bra down onto my breasts, which were aching for his touch and his tongue. I quivered as he let his fingers slide down onto my stomach, and then I felt him move from the edge of my black stockings up the length of my thigh. I tried to part my legs, inviting him further as he slid upwards toward my pussy with his fingers, but my predicament of being suspended from the rope and barely able to stand made that difficult.

Russell leaned in close, and for the first time I felt his lips brush softly against mine. I could taste his breath as he began press into my lips and kiss me. It began sweetly, then became more heated as he opened my mouth with his and slid his tongue in to find mine. As our tongues danced, I felt him reach around and find the clasp of my bra. It opened, and I felt my bra lift away from my breasts. I was self-conscious - this was the first time for him to actually see me naked. My doubts were erased, however, as I felt both of his hands encircle and consume my breasts. It felt so good as this man, this new lover, began to knead my breasts together.

Then he was once more behind me. I tried to turn my head to at least hear where he was going or what he was doing, though the blindfold prevented me from seeing, but he said, "Don't move." I felt his hands at my waist, grasping the sides of my string bikini panties. Slowly he inched them down, and I felt him follow along as he lowered them down over my stockings. He was kneeling behind me now, and soon his hands were pressing against my legs, forcing them apart in a way I had not been able to do on my own. I knew that there was nothing unrevealed now. He could see my entire body. Save for my stockings, I was completely naked before him. I felt Russell's face nuzzle into me from behind, pressing underneath my ass as his tongue reached out to gently graze my pussy. I caught my breath - it was exquisite!

Russell stood once more behind me. His hands moved at will over my body, from my face, to my breasts, to my back, to my ass. He pulled me to him and I felt his tongue from behind as he nuzzled at my neck. Shivers ran over my exposed flesh, and I felt his right hand slip down to my pussy as his left hand once more grasped my breast. He began to move all over me, his tongue now in my ear, his left hand squeezing at my nipple, which was growing more sensitive by the moment, and the fingers on his right hand beginning to spread my pussy open. I felt him slip his index finger along the length of my already dripping slit. Then he found my clit, and I moaned in passion as he begin to stimulate it with his finger. On and on he went like that, engulfing my body while his finger drove my cunt crazy. I felt an orgasm start to build and build. However, just before I reached my climax, he took his right hand, now dripping with my juices, and slid it back toward my ass.

I flinched and tried to pull away, half out of reflex and half out of frustration, but unable to really step anywhere, of course, because of my hands bound to the rope and the ceiling above me. Still, I clenched my ass and tried to wiggle from his hand. "Bitch," he hissed sharply at me in a tone I had never heard him use and without releasing his hold on my body. "I told you there would be no refusals." At this, I felt a sharp pain as his right hand smacked down onto the right cheek of my ass. At the very same moment, he pinched my left nipple with his finger - not gently, like my husband sometimes did during our lovemaking, but harder than I had ever been pinched before. I felt tears come into my blindfolded eyes, and I cried out in pain.

"I'm sorry!" I yelled. "Then stop resisting," Russell said, I tried to force myself to relax. He smacked my left ass check, and then my right one again. Then I heard him lick his finger and felt him move it once more to my ass. "Nothing out of bounds," he reminded me, "Now open up." I unclenched my ass and felt him begin to slide his finger within my rectum. It was no gentle sliding, however, for he jammed the entire length of his index finger deeply into my ass.

I yelped again and bucked away from him. Once more I felt his fingers clamp down on my tender nipple. In doing this, he forced my body back against his. I hung there, suspended from a rope in this man's house, my arms raised helplessly above me. He rolled and pinched my nipple mercilessly, while with his right hand he probed deeper and deeper into my tight ass. Without stopping either action, he put his mouth once more to my ear. "Slut," he said. "This is only the beginning. I am going to possess and fill your entire body. You will take my cum in every hole, and you will receive me wherever I penetrate. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I finally managed to stammer amid the fear and the pain. "I will do whatever you tell me to do." As I said that, I braced for, and surrendered to, whatever was to come....