Locked In
written by:
Lagrimas de mi Alma

I am in graduate school, a PhD candidate in Microbiology. I graduated high school early at 17, and finished my bachelors in a record 3 and a half years. I have also been very lucky in my graduate research in that I am almost finished after only 3 years. I will be the youngest Doctoral graduate my university has ever had at the young age of 24.

I couldn't sleep last night, because I finished my Dissertation a month ago and am defending it today. I tried to sleep but gave up around 5 am and took a long bath. I decided to do my hair and makeup for the defense. This is unusual as I rarely wear makeup and my hair is always in a somewhat disheveled bun.

When I moved to this new city for graduate school, I decided to live out in the suburbs so that it would not be as much of an adjustment for me. I had never lived in a large city and I did not think I would have fared well in an apartment. Most people would view my 45-minute commute as a pain, but I enjoyed it. My first two years I spent my commutes listening to Spanish on CD, and am now working on Chinese. This also gives me the time to mentally digest my workdays.

The 45-minute commute today seems way longer than normal. I guess it was a good thing I left an hour early. I couldn't sit around my house anymore because of my nerves. Luckily the traffic finally starts to open up and I can almost go the speed limit. I decide to get in the fast lane to pass a semi. I hear some tires screech and the semi slams into me and I feel like I'm flying, then darkness.

*****

I wake up, struggling to breathe. I only see a faint blurred light but I hear so much activity, I try to breathe, but it feels like I am underwater, with a metallic syrup in my mouth. I spit some of it out and try to tell someone that I need to get to my defense, but they don't understand me. I feel a sharp pain in my neck and it is suddenly much easier to breathe. I feel my body jerk like I'm being lifted upwards, maybe towards heaven, but the pain in my body is so excruciating that I am once again in darkness.

*****

I feel myself walking across the stage as my PI places the hood around my neck and the Dean hands me my diploma. I hear cheering and clapping. Things seem off and I do not know how I got here. What happened at my defense? I don't remember. When did my family get here? I don't remember, but I feel good nonetheless. Slowly as I walk back towards my seat, the lights become brighter and brighter. This is weird, I think but it must be that I am so damn happy for myself that my brain is acting funny. The room continues to get brighter and brighter, so I look up towards the auditorium lights and they seem closer than they ought to be. I begin to look around me some more and realize I am no longer at my graduation ceremony; I am in a hospital room. I try to speak, but there is something in my throat. I feel needles, wires and tubes coming from all around me.

Someone noticed that I woke up and there was a lot more activity around me. An old man in a white coat walks up to me and shines lights in my eyes. He lets a young woman in a white coat pull the tube out of my throat. They all look at me, waiting for something, asking me questions. I hear myself answer all of them, but they continue to look at me, asking the same questions over and over again. I hear the man and woman in the white coat whispering to one another, but was only able to make out the word "unresponsive" before letting my tired body drift off to sleep again.

*****

Hours of lying in a hospital bed turn into days, then to weeks. Every once in a while, the doctors come into my room to check on me, poking me, prodding me. I guess they think that since I'm not responding to them, that I can't feel pain and can be the practice pincushion for their medical students. I guess I don't really mind that, the students need to learn somewhere. I wish they wouldn't talk about me while doing it. Don't they know I can hear them? They insult me, with one medical student saying "I'm surprised the veins in her elbow are this good with as fat as she is". I never thought a size 12 was fat, but I stand corrected. I can tolerate being a pincushion but when they started using me as their test subject for spinal taps and vaginal exams I tried to fight it. My body didn't seem to listen to the screams from my brain. Didn't they know I can feel everything they do to me? They talk, all the while, "its ok that you made her cervix bleed, she can't feel it", "It isn't a big deal if you mess up this spinal tap, she is already paralyzed", "It doesn't matter what you do. She's in a coma, see?" as I feel a slap on my ass. That last comment hurts the worst.

After two weeks of this, I have begun to notice that my body would respond to these tortures in only one way. I am shedding tears. If only these students would look at my face, they might stop treating me as less than human.

Another two weeks of being a test dummy went by when something both hideous and miraculous happens. An orderly, who must've overheard the students say I was in a coma, creeps into my room one night. He climbs on top of me and I knew what was about to happen. I felt one of those unconscious tears roll down my face when I hear a clicking sound at the foot of the bed. The door opened and Jesse walked in. "What the HELL!!!" The orderly tries to defend himself and persuade Jesse to look the other way, but I hear Jesse call the police and the orderly was arrested. I find out later that after the cops investigate, things could have been very bad for me, as they were for other female patients in the ward. I am so grateful, so glad that Jesse was the (male) nurse that was switched to nights.

But the daytime poking and prodding continued.

After that night, Jesse cracks open my door every couple of hours and peeks in. After a few nights, he comes in and sits in the chair next to me. "Hello, Rosa. My name is Jesus but everyone calls me Jesse. I know there is know way anyone in the hospital can apologize enough for what has happened to you. It gives me nightmares. I hope I don't wake you at night but I keep thinking I'll walk in here to the same scene. I just want to make sure you are ok. Everyone in the hospital says to talk to coma patients, but for some reason they say you are a lost cause. I don't know why. Your eyes are open and I just know you can understand me. I'll make sure that nothing else bad happens to you on my watch" I feel a tear of joy roll down my cheek and he reaches over and wipes it up with his finger, wiping on his scrubs. He walks out and I sleep comfortably that night for the first time since before the car accident.

*****

After a couple of nights of good sleep I feel like my mind had more energy during the day. However, my body was still unmoving. One day, Jesse is working a day shift and he hears the medical students talking about doing anal exams on me. He says nothing, (none of the nurses have ever said anything) and just leaves the room. No one does an anal exam on me, Thank GOD; the vaginal exams were bad enough. Two nights later, and Jesse is back to his night shifts. He comes into my room that first night, once the lights in the hall were dimmed. He sits down and starts talking. "Rosa I know you can understand me, but part of me wishes they were right. Part of me wishes that you do not know what has been happening to you. I had to follow procedure with regards to who I could talk to about what they have been doing to you, but I pushed until they listened to me. They know better. They need your consent to practice on you. It makes me question whether I should keep working here. I feel I should just to make sure nothing else happens to you. God, I hope this hasn't' been going on the whole time." Again, I feel a tear roll down the side of my face. Jesse's finger catches it right before it would have slid into my ear. He then wipes it on his scrubs and gently strokes my hair. I finally have a guardian angel.

*****

My quality of life has improved dramatically. Though nothing physically changed with my condition, (still paralyzed and unable to speak) I am no longer anyone's' object. They finally started turning on the TV in my room so I have something to look at other than the walls. If only they would change the channel away from the damn home shopping network. But hey, at least I am not able to use my hands or I would have spend all the money I'd earned as a TA over the last couple of years! Jesses visits are becoming a nightly ritual. I am so grateful because he shares with me news from around the world. One day he just comes in with the newspaper telling me he was already done with his work but had time to kill and just read the newspaper, occasionally telling me something he thought I'd find interesting. Oddly, everything he says was interesting to me. It is like he knows me, and I've never spoken a word to him!

It is so weird because most times I see him he is so professional. He changes my sheets and performs all of his duties professionally. He is nice, and he smiles, more so than the other nurses. But, he is still such a different person when he comes in for our one-sided chats.

One night he comes in and he looks sad. He sits down without speaking. Several minutes of silence pass. I know something is wrong. "Rosa I need comfort. I'm tired of hearing empty words. I just want someone to listen. I know this is unfair of me to subject you to my problems but I don't know what else to do." I try to look at him but my head is not turned enough to see him head on. He takes my right hand and I think he is looking at me but it is hard to tell. He stands up and places his hands on my head, about to turn my head so I can see him, but he reconsiders. "Maybe you are more comfortable like that? I hope it is ok if I just sit up here then." He sits on my right side, with his right knee next to my shoulder. He lifts my right arm up and places it on his hand, in a way that I would have done if I could. He confides in me. He tells me that his mother is getting sick and she doesn't want to tell his father. He doesn't know what to do. They don't have a lot of money and his mother is afraid of doctors. He goes into much detail and I just listen. Though I am his captive audience, I can't help but think that I would listen to him even if I had the ability to walk away. After a while he seems much calmer though no conclusion was reached. "I know you didn't do anything, Rosa, but this was great." With that he leaned forward and kiss me on my forehead. With his right arm supporting him and no longer holding my hand, my hand inadvertently slides up his leg and lands in his crotch. I feel his member and am instantly excited. I am glad, in that instance, to be female, as a woody would have given me away. From the way he smiles and leaves the room, I don't think he noticed. How can someone not notice? Every time I'm being changed, or my sheets rearranged, or examined, I notice when I am touched in my sensitive parts. I've lost track of how long I've been in the hospital, but it has been too long since I felt a mans loving touch.

The graze of my hand on Jesse's crotch is all that occupies my mind now. I have nothing else going on in my life. No one even comes to visit me. This hurt me at first, but now, Jesse's visits are what I look forward to. I am now starting to notice more about Jesse. Ever since he confided in me about his parents (and I touched his crotch), his nightly chats occur on my bed. He now sits just the way we did that night. I am fine with this because it gives me the opportunity to study him. From what I can tell, Jesse is between 5'9" and 6'0". He is of a muscular build, not scrawny, not fat. Perfect for someone in his profession. His hair is spiky and dark. I have not had the chance to notice his eyes. I fall asleep without a visit from him. I am disappointed but the exhaustion took over.

I wake up and he is sitting in his spot, holding my hand, caressing my fingers and nails. He keeps staring at my hand as he gently smoothes my skin. Five minutes have gone by when he finally notices my eyes are open. "I didn't want to wake you. I had more things to do tonight than usual. It is almost 6am! I usually can come talk to you around midnight but I was so busy, I'm sorry." He seemed nervous. He is ok with staring at my hand and not my face. "Rosa, I am worried about you. I would tell you to eat more, but it isn't like you can control that. Do you realize that since you have been here you have lost 30 pounds? You have lost your soft womanly curves and have begun to look like the rest of the gaunt people in this ward. I am glad that you still have your glow that makes you so different, but I wish you could be healthier again. Look at your arm." I cannot turn my head to look at my own arm, much less the rest of my body. He keeps holding my hand with his left hand and cradles my elbow with his right lifting it into my line of sight. My arm did not look natural, did not look like my own. He gently laid my arm down and says my thoughts as I think them. "Your hands still look the same though." I can now tell that the sun is shining in my room from the window behind my bed. "I have to finish everything for the next shift." He purposefully sets my hand on his knee and holds it there with his left hand, while he supports himself with his right hand so he can kiss me on the forehead. I cannot help but close my eyes and inhale his scent. I cannot tell that he has been working for a full shift because he doesn't even stink. He smells like strength, like a man. I try to savor it but he begins to lean back. The sun catches his eyes right as we make eye contact and I finally see his eyes. Brilliant flecks of scarlet and gold speckle the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen. The look on his face changes again. For a second, I think he might be leaning in to kiss me but he says, "Rosa I know you are in there. I wish you could talk so I could get to know you." he holds his position for another few seconds and gets up to leave the room. His aroma lingers briefly as I lay in my bed, wishing I could have pulled him into me and made passionate love that my body has been craving.

*****

My infatuation with Jesse has become all-consuming. I take many opportunities throughout the day to close my eyes and remember his face, inches from mine, sparkling eyes, and enticing scent... The more I do this the more excited I feel myself become. I even feel the wetness soaking between my legs, only in vain, as it will go away, its purpose unfulfilled. I begin to sleep more during the day in so that I can stay awake at night waiting for Jesse's visit.

Tonight is a special night, I can feel it. I don't know what it is, but I'll learn soon enough.

Jesse walks in at the beginning of his shift. My TV is still on but he is beaming brighter than the tube. "My mother just had the flu! She was worried for nothing as it turns out! All these years my father has saved up for them to retire comfortably. More comfortably than they ever lived." He sits on my bed and leans in for a hug, but it is awkward since I cannot reciprocate. "Oh what the hell..." He says as he leans back up and gingerly takes my left arm to wrap around his neck while he hugs me. I feel his muscular chest press against mine, my now sagging breasts near my armpits. He quickly kisses me on the forehead and sits back up. My limp arm falls and lands across my abdomen, against his firm butt. That is what I'm thinking about when he says, "Ugh, how can you watch this shit???" He stands up and changes it to Animal Planet. "Who doesn't like puppies?" he says with a smile. I'm so grateful but there is nothing I can do to repay all of his kindnesses. "I've got to start earning my keep, but I'll be back later." He stands up and my fingers graze against his butt. He noticed this and moves my arm back to a more comfortable position. He is so considerate!

After what seemed like all night (and most likely was), Jesse came back walking stiffly. "Everyone needed new sheets tonight except for you!" he said as he lightly lay against my right side, his back towards me. There was hardly any room for his muscular frame, and if only I could have moved to accommodate him. He lifts his body up and gently grabs my right arm and moves it so that he snuggles up against me, his head on my arm. Before too long, I hear his breathing slow and notice he had fallen asleep. I wish I could move to spoon him but I cannot. In his sleep, he mindlessly flops his left arm over me only to land on my crotch. "That is the most play I'll get from him", I think solemnly. I think this position makes him uncomfortable and he tries to roll onto his back, onto me! His left hand slides down onto my left hand and he unconsciously intertwines our fingers. I am in heaven except for the fact that he is starting to crush me a little. He sighs in his sleep and rolls back onto his side, pulling my left arm onto his waist, maintaining a firm grip of my fingers. This is a position I can get used to. I can smell his scent, his strength, and his caring nature. I fall asleep.

I wake up after what must have only been an hour and he is there beside me. Except now, he is facing me, his head on my right shoulder and breast. His right hand is cupping my left breast (even if I could, I would not complain about this), and his right leg is thrown across my thighs with his crotch pressing against my hip. My right arm is asleep from the weight of his head on my shoulder, but I don't care. He begins to stir. He unconsciously humps my hip a little with his morning wood. This move would most likely disgust me otherwise, but I find it incredibly erotic. He scoots up and nuzzles into my neck. I feel his soft lips waken with the rest of him as he begins to kiss my neck. Before I know it, His left hand leaves my breast and moves my face towards his. His sweet, asleep kiss would awaken sleeping beauty. I feel his tongue start to tickle my lips, asking for permission to enter. I only wish with all of my might I could open my mouth to accommodate his tongue, but my body is still refusing to listen to me. I'm still savoring the feel of him against me when a sharp intake of air sends him upright and off of my bed. His hands grabbing his head and running through his hair he states, "I'm no different than that fucking orderly" and leaves my room. If he only knew that this moment was the highlight of my life.

*****

For the next couple of nights, Jesse is no different than the other nurses. No eye contact, no smiles, no talking, and no fun. For some reason, I feel like my life sucks more now than when I was a pincushion to the medical students. It takes about a week for Jesse to even start to look at me again. Every time he comes into my room I try to make my eyes plead with him to look at me, to love me, to kiss me, to make love to me. But I just end up crying and alone in my little prison of a body.

The first night he speaks to me he says, "Good evening Rosa! How are you today." It was as if nothing had happened! It was as if we did not share a tender kiss and comfortable nights' sleep. If I could have, I would have rolled my eyes at him and given him the silent treatment. As usual, however, I just feel myself staring at him. He stares back.

"Did....," he continues to stare. "Did you just roll your eyes at me?" I stare at him, incredulously. "Please tell me I am not imagining things." Maybe he is just going crazy.

"There! you did it again! maybe you are having a seizure. But you look fine. and I am talking to myself. If only you could, I'm sure you would tell me to shut up." Now I'm glad he is talking to me, because maybe he will come to my room at night and make me feel like a normal person. "Can you blink when I ask you to?" It was such a weird question for him to ask. How should I know. maybe? "Yeah I saw this thing on TV where someone who is paralyzed can only move their eyelids. You are supposed to blink once for yes, twice for no." Ok, maybe I can do this. I'll have to try.

"Is your name Rosa?" I think to myself blink once. "Holy shit. Is my name Jesse?" I think again, blink once. "Oh my fucking god." and he gets quieter, "Did I accidentally dry hump you the other morning?" I wished I could have laughed, but I made myself blink once, as I feel a tear roll down my cheek. I look up at him just as he wipes away the tear. He has a soft smile on his face, "That's my girl." He kisses me on the forehead, lingering longer than he usually does and bolts out of the room. After 30 minutes of being alone, I figure his shift is over and I drift off to sleep.

*****

I am awoken by a flurry of activity in my room. I see at least 7 people crowded into this tiny space. I can sort of see Jesse, but it is hard to tell since I cannot move my head. The old man in the white coat shines that bright-as-hell, almost painful light in my eye. "Pupils are responsive." He gets louder, "Blink once for yes, twice for no. Can you understand me?" I wished I could have told him that I'm paralyzed not deaf, but I blinked once. He smiled and everyone patted him on the back. Jesse was the one who figured it out!

The next couple of days there was a media hailstorm. I am embarrassed by it all, but apparently, someone had brought my clothes in and the nurses dressed me up and even combed my hair (They had been cutting it short so they wouldn't even have to comb it). They showed me an alphabet plate that I can now use to communicate, thought it is painstaking and takes forever. But at least now I'm not just locked inside of this prison of a body all by myself.

*****

It has been a full week since that night but now Jesse has returned to his normal routine. He comes into my room cautiously, looking nervous. "So now you can talk back, huh". I blink yes. "So here comes my million dollar question..."

He pauses and I can tell he is nervous about hearing the answer. "Do you like it when I talk to you?" I blink yes. He looks meek and quietly asks "Do you hate me for falling asleep on you?" I blink no. He stares at me for a few seconds and slumps into a chair. "do you like me?" I blink yes. He gets excited and sits on my bed. "I've been thinking I am going crazy! I like you, but why should I? I know nothing about you! I just talk to you and you are forced to listen. I was telling myself there were times where I knew you could hear me but I thought I just imagined it. Could you?" I blink yes. "So how far back can you remember?". How the hell am I supposed to answer that? I just stare at him. "Duh, um.... do you remember the first night I worked here?" I slowly blink yes, then close my eyes. I cannot help the tears that fall down my cheeks. He places his hand on my cheeks, rubbing the tears in, "So all these tears have been real?" I blink yes. He gets a look of compassion in his face and says, "Can I hug you?" I blink "Yes" and he quickly hugs me, wrapping his arms around my body, pulling me into an upright position, cradling my head so it doesn't bobble around. He gently lays me back down and wraps the fingers of his right hand with my left. He stares at my hand in his for a few moments. Without looking at me he says, "Do you think you could love me?"

He doesn't seem to want to look up so I wait for him. Once he looks up I blink yes. "was that a yes?" as the excitement builds in his voice. I blink "Yes" again. He almost bursts and kisses me on the forehead and sits back quickly. "Did you just squeeze my hand" I don't know if I did so I just stared at him. He slowly begins to lean forward and says, huskily, "Try to move your lips" as he continues to move towards my face. His pace was painfully slow and both of us keep our eyes open. When his lips finally met mine, my eyes instinctively shut. If he only knew how wet I was, he would have been shocked. He held his face against mine, and I could feel his lips quivering. I concentrate all of my thoughts and energy on opening my mouth so I could taste him. He bolts upright again. "I DEFINITELY felt your lip move. I'm not imagining that am I?" I blink no. He is so excited that he leans forward and kisses me on the mouth. He leans back and smiles. He kisses me again and smiles. His eyes become a little lustful and he kisses me again, slowly. I feel his breathing quicken against my face and can tell he is getting excited. He continues to hold his face against mine and I can tell he is wishing I wasn't paralyzed. He sits up. "I don't want to take advantage of you." I just look at him. How the hell am I supposed to respond? This is going to take some getting used to. "do you want me to kiss you?" I blink yes. Instead of asking me if I want him to put his tongue in my mouth, hand in my shirt, hand down my pants, cock in my womb, he is content with soft kisses. He is good at the soft kisses.

I wonder where such a man came from. A good looking, clean cut, muscular, gentle man. I am lucky. Or has this been a dream/nightmare? But like I said he is good at the soft kisses. He moves my bed so that I am more upright. He gathers all of my pillows and cradles them around my body and head so I am comfortable, all the while asking, "There?" for the placement each pillow. Once I am upright and comfortable, He sits on my bed and cradles my face with his hands. He leans forward and gently kisses my lips. His soft lips move around my lips, gently sucking in my upper lip while I get to feel his lower lip between my lips. Then he sucks on my lower lip and I get to feel his upper lip between my lips. He is going slow and soft. It is incredibly erotic and I want him to fuck me now. I need the release that has been building up all this time. We gently make out for a half an hour before he says he should go before he gets caught and fired. He says goodnight and lowers my bed so I can sleep.

*****

As each night arrives, we get to know each other more. he has a million questions and seems to love every answer I give him. Occasionally he'll sneak in a question like "Did you notice that time your hand accidentally slid into my crotch?". He is cutely insecure, yet intensely masculine all at the same time. After a week or so of "working out" my lips, he is getting more confident that my lip movements are visible to the naked eye. We decide to tell my Doctor. That arrogant ass gets all the congratulations for the discovery of course, but I am able, this time, to blink out to the press that it was actually my awesome nurse who made the discovery. When they ask how, I slowly tell them that he "noticed the small changes that the DR was not around to notice." That brought out snickers from media and all the nurses while the doctor got red in the face but I didn't care. Jesse was too shy to handle the media attention but it turned out ok.

*****

The hardest part of my physical therapy is trying to move my tongue. I don't mean making out with Jesse (we haven't really tongue kissed yet). I mean actual physical therapy. I still sound like a moaning animal, but Jesse says he can tell a difference. This is hard work and I go to bed each night exhausted. As it turns out, I was not paralyzed, but my brain suffered some trauma. My body needed to recuperate for a while, which is why I am now able to get movement back. I work on my recovery everyday.

*****

As my nights with Jesse have slowly disappeared because I have been too tired to stay awake, he apparently has begun to miss me. One night was supposed to be his night off, but he enters my room wearing his regular scrubs. He walks over to my bed and sits next to me. Taking my hand in his he says, "I've made a deal with my coworkers. We can lock the door if we want, and we can use the emergency call button if we need to." My face moves slightly, but Jesse can tell I am smiling. He stands up, walks over to the door and locks it.

He comes back and begins kissing me. I am not good at responding yet, but he doesn't seem to care. I can feel his breath quicken to the same pace of my own. He breaks the kiss and nibbles on my ear and down my neck. He sits up and slides his shirt over his head. He tosses it on the chair and grasps my wrists to rub my hands over his body. My fingers somewhat limply glide over his shoulders, down his slightly hairy chest to his rock hard abs. He brings my arms back up to encircle his neck while he kisses me some more. My fingers dance slightly on his upper back; his lumpy muscles are such a turn on.

He breaks the kiss again to kiss down my neck to my chest. I moan. As I am wearing more normal clothes now, so he has to slides the straps of my gown off my shoulders to give him better access to my neck, shoulders, and upper chest. He has been so cautious not to violate any part of me that I am completely horny and ready to be taken. I make some noise to get his attention. When he looks at my face, I overtly stare at his crotch. He bends downward to see what I am looking at and chuckles briefly. He stands up and undoes his belt and pants. he grasps the waistline of his scrubs and runs his thumbs inside of them, still cautious. "are you sure", to which I immediately I say yes, although it sounds more like "yed".

He pulls down his pants and steps out of them. His boxer briefs are probably the sexiest things I have ever seen. He takes my hand to place it on his crotch but pauses to get approval from me. It was then that I finally realized that the shadows of my dimly lit room were hiding the monster in his pants. I briefly thought about the sad orderly, but quickly pushed him out of my mind as my lover grabbed my hand and let me feel his prick through the boxer briefs. It is so huge, that even if my fingers were more nimble, I still don't think they would be able to encircle the large member. I begun to think that it didn't matter what size he is, I would love him anyway, but this is icing to the cake.

He must be reading my mind because he kisses me and stops everything to look into my eyes. "I love you." I smile as best I can and tell him that I love him too. I am grateful for all the time we spend together as he is the only one who always understands me.

He stands up and lifts the sheet down my body, exposing my gown and legs. He straddles me for the first time, and pulls my gown straps lower so he can finally kiss my breasts. A moan escapes from his mouth as I feel his cock rub against the tops of my legs. He humps between my legs while covering my breasts with kisses. He is getting more adventurous and bites one of my nipples. I grunt, which would not have been any different had I been able to talk. He stops and looks up at me. He gets off of me and helps me out of my gown and takes off his boxer briefs. I am again amazed at how large he is. I wonder how that would ever fit inside of me, and am very willing to try.

He gets at the foot of my bed and sits between my feet. He slowly works his way up my legs massaging my muscles with his strong hands and nimble lips and tongue. When he reaches my knees, he hefts my legs up to display my wet slit. He moans hungrily and examines me thoroughly. I begin to get self-conscious when I feel his hands slowly slide down my thighs. Before I can moan, he dives into my pussy, eagerly licking up all the pent up wetness that he caused over the past several months. "Oh God you taste good" he moans between licks. I have never had someone go down on me before so the sensations were new and exhilarating. he is treating my pussy like a kid would treat an ice cream cone. He slides his left hand up to my breast while I say "hold my hand" he grabs my hand and places it on my breast, with his hand on my hand. He uses his right hand to feel around my labia and clit, gently exploring this new territory. Everything he did felt amazing. While his mouth begins to concentrate on my clit, his finger slowly begins to go inside of me. He pauses to ask me if it is ok, but all I can do is grunt.

He starts swirling his tongue around my clit, and the lapping causes me to make more ungodly noises. Though they sound awful to me, my grunts and groans seem to spur him on, just as his spur me on. He gets more furious and I feel a tingling begin in my belly. I say "don't stop" and he gets excited, realizing that he is bringing me there. The tingling moves towards my ribs and I feel him move my fingers to pinch my own nipple. The tingling moves into my upper chest and he finally shoves his finger all the way inside of me while vibrating his tongue on my clit, forcing my muscles to quake all over, awakening nerves that I never knew I had. Jesse had trouble staying attached to my pussy as my body unexpectedly thrashed underneath him.

Once I finished, he asked me if I realized how much my body moved and I said that I didn't. He just smiles and doesn't say anything and proceeded with kissing my belly and chest. "do you think you might want to have make love tonight?" I responded with "fuck me already" before he finished his question. He kisses me passionately and I do not even care that his face is covered with my juices or that I can taste me on him.

He leans over the bed and grabs a condom from his pants pocket. I notice it says magnum on it but did not say anything as I thought it was just a brand of condom. He puts it on his dick like he has never done it before but it looks right to me.

He lays on my thigh and uses his right hand to massage my pussy. "Damn you are so wet". He positions himself over me and wets his dick all along my slit, all the while teasing me without filling me up. I can feel my desire and impatience bubbling over and he finally positions the head in my hole. He starts to push and I feel a pain. He quickly apologizes and pulls out. "don't you dare..." He looks at me sadly and tries again, convinced that it won't work. He slowly works it inside of me, a little at a time. filling me up more than I'd ever thought I feel. and still there is more. He begins to massage my clit with his thumb while trying to work in his massive cock. "try till you get it all in" I say, hopeful that he will finally give me the fucking I want. After a couple of stops where he has to pull out and retry, he was finally working it in, one inch at time. Each inch inside of me feels like all I can handle but there is always more. It seemed like a deliciously long time, but was probably only a minute or two. When I finally feel the hair on his pelvis against mine, he bucks his hips and moaned loudly. That causes my back to arch as much as it can (probably only a little) and at this moment, I wish he would impregnate me.

"fuck me, Jesse" "God I love you, you are perfect". With every thrust he moans more loudly. His erotic noises only turn me on more as I concentrate on squeezing my vagina around his thick member. After it stops hurting, I was insane with the feeling of fullness, sad each time he would pull it out only to make me happy by pushing it back in.

"Oh GOD, you are huge" "You're so wettttttttttt"

He was rocking into me at a rhythmic pace, driving me insane with the feeling of his magnificent prick. I open my eyes to look at him and he is looking at me with more love in his eyes than I could ever hope for. He pushes inside of me and bucks his hips a little and I feel the orgasm building. "Tell me again..." "I love you?" he asks. "Yes" "I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone." "oh yeah. fuck me, yes, yes" He pumps faster and faster as my orgasm keeps building.

"Marry me" I try to look at him to tell him yes, but the orgasm overtakes me, making me scream "YES!" out loud, the first clear word I have said since the accident. He keeps going, forcing another orgasm out of me. Two turns to three, four, and I start to loose count. At one point I feel my arm reach up and scratch his back. This makes him pound into me so hard that he comes with a fury. "Ugh, GOD"

We lay in a panting heap until we fall asleep with his large dick still inside of me. He was so large that even after it shrunk it stayed inside of me.

*****

The nurse knocks on the door to wake us. "rounds in 30 minutes." I smile at my lover/fiancée. He looks at me lovingly. "I'm glad you were the first woman I was ever able to have sex with." I looked at him with a shocked look on my face. It turns out that he was so large he could never let loose and just fuck someone, and had never come inside a woman. My muscles must have been relaxed enough for him to fit. He felt like my first too, as sex had never been enjoyable before, and my only orgasms were when I was by myself.

*****

The medical miracle about us is that every time he and I have sex, my recovery speeds up. The mind-blowing orgasms give my muscles and nerves a much-needed jumpstart towards healing. I can speak almost completely normal and can actually respond to my husband's kisses. He loves the different kind of positions we can do now that I can walk and move around, but every once in a while, he likes for me to lay perfectly still like the fantasies he had about me before he unlocked me from my body.