I Need To Know
written by:
DG Hear

I Need To Know By DG Hear

An emotional story, not a lot of sex. So if that's what you are looking for, you might want to pass on this one. To all the other readers, I hope you enjoy it. DG

It was a dark and stormy night. I've always wanted to start a story off that way. This time it was dark and cloudy both outside the window, and also inside my heart.

My wife of five years was in the hospital in a coma. I would be headed back over to see her there shortly. She was in a traffic accident two days ago and my three year old son was killed. The man she was with was killed also. I didn‘t have any particulars yet since it happened on a Friday night. I worked the afternoon turn at the factory and received a call from the hospital. The man‘s wife was also at the hospital. She was a pretty woman even in her old blouse and jeans. She was crying over her loss as was I.

We talked a little, really not knowing each other. We knew we would have to meet again and see what we could figure out. Right now everything was in limbo. Was it a meeting? Were they having an affair? I just didn't know, and why did Lydia take our son with her? So many questions, and no answers. Hopefully, all the questions would come out in the next few days.

I was at home changing clothes when the phone rang; it was the hospital. Lydia was coming out of her coma but they didn‘t think she was going to make it. Too many internal injuries. I rushed to the hospital as fast as I could. They let me into the intensive care unit immediately. Her mom came out of the room crying as I went in. In the lobby were her two brothers and their wives, along with her younger sister and her father.

Lydia was in a drug induced state. Her voice was just a whisper. She looked at me through half-closed eyes and said, I‘m so sor....

She passed on. Her final words were, "Derek, I‘m so..." then maybe sorry, I don‘t know; I guess I never will. My problem is my name is Jerry.

I left the room in tears. Her family were all crying out in the lobby. What was happening to me? The loss of my son, and now my wife. It seemed so unreal. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Unfortunately, I wasn't dreaming. I went and hugged all my in-laws. What was I to say to them? I didn‘t know anything. Right now I had other problems to deal with. Tuesday I would be burying my three year old son and on Wednesday I would now be burying my wife of five years. I had no answers; everything would just have to wait till after the funerals.

When I got home, my answering machine was so full of messages that it had stop taking them. Friends and family all asking questions. The police and insurance companies were also calling. My head was a mess. I just sat down in my chair and cried. I eventually dozed off when I was awakened by the ringing of the phone.

The caller ID said it was a D. Cain. I decided to answer it.

"Hello, Johnson residence." I answered.

"Mr. Johnson? Jerry Johnson?" The voice asked.

"Yes, it is. Who is this?" I asked.

"Connie, Connie Cain. My husband was killed in the accident along with your son and now I heard your wife didn‘t make it. I just wanted to give you my condolences. I know how hard this is for you, since I'm going through a similar experience. I‘m a mess right now." She started crying.

"Connie, I‘m sorry for your loss too. I would very much like to get with you and we can compare notes or something. Right now I have the two funerals to contend with. I'll be burying my son on Tuesday, and Lydia, my wife, on Wednesday. Maybe we can get together sometime after that. I very much want to talk with you."

"Jerry ... is it alright to call you Jerry?"

"Of course, Connie."

"My husband‘s funeral is on Tuesday also. So, anytime after that would be fine."

"Connie, can I ask you a couple of questions?"

"By all means, Jerry, I‘m as overwhelmed as you. Anything I can do to help solve these unanswered questions, I‘m willing to do."

"Did you know my wife? Her name is Lydia Johnson. It was Lydia Moore, before we were married. Also was your husband‘s name Derek? On a personal note, how long have you been married and do you have a family?"

"Jerry, I‘m not sure but I think your wife might have sold us our house around four years ago. I can get you the exact date if you need. Since then, I have never seen or heard her name mentioned. Not even by Derek. We've been married nine years and have two kids. A boy, Dillon, who is seven, and a girl, Darla, who is five."

"Were you or maybe even your husband looking to buy property or buy another house?"

"We often talked about purchasing a cottage, but I have no idea if he was checking into it or not. As I mentioned, it was just talk."

"Did you know if he was with anyone last Friday? You know, did he have a scheduled appointment or work on Friday?"

"Not that I was aware of, Jerry. He often came home late, so until I got the call from the hospital I didn‘t suspect anything."

"Thank you, Connie. I‘ve bothered you enough for now and I am very sad for your loss. I just hope we can come up with some answers for closure. It was really nice talking to you and again, I am very sorry for your loss." I hung up the phone.

One connection, so far. She might have sold them their house four years ago. At least I have somewhere to start. Poor Connie, two kids and now no husband and no father. I really felt sorry for her. My life wasn‘t the only one that was a mess.

Even though it was Sunday the insurance company left a message for me to call them. They asked for more information than I had so far. I would have to get the police report and get back to them.

At the moment I both loved and hated Lydia. She was my loving wife and the mother of my only child. Now they‘re both gone. The grief was so strong I couldn‘t even think straight. I tried to think back on our happier times together.

How does one deal with all these emotions at once? I needed a clear head just to deal with the losses and the funeral. God, I wish that damn phone would stop ringing. I listened to most of the messages and then turned the ringer off and let the answering machine take the calls again. I needed rest; I hadn‘t really slept since before the accident. I went over to the couch - I didn‘t want to be in my bed - and laid down and thought about my life until I fell asleep.

------------------

Lydia and I met while she was still in school ... well, junior college. She was taking courses in real estate. I worked at the factory as a maintenance helper. I was in the apprentice program to become a maintenance man. We did the plumbing and electrical stuff as well as some machine repair. It was the highest paying hourly jobs at our plant. At least I had the brains to get into the program.

Lydia and I dated for about two years before I popped the question. We were married a few months later. She sold real estate and I worked maintenance on the afternoon turn. We didn‘t see each other a lot but we did get along pretty good. We spent all the time we could together. We made love at the drop of a hat. I‘d get home from work about mid-night and wake her up and we‘d make love. Sometimes we would just have raw sex. We seemed to be pretty good together. She never complained about being awakened for sex. After we finished, she‘d just cuddle up to me and go back to sleep. What more could a guy ask for?

Lydia had made her biggest sale and we went out and celebrated. When we got home we had the best sex possible. We did it three times that night. The first time was for me, but Lydia wanted more. This was the first time we did it three times in about an eight hour period. Each time she wanted me to come deep in her vagina.

Each time I held it as tight as I could against her till she could feel my juices shooting into her. She wanted a fourth time but I just didn‘t have it in me. I told her I could do her orally, but she said that was alright; she was tired too.

Nine months later little Mikey, our son, was born. He was our pride and joy. I watched him a lot during the day when she had to work and of course she had him when I went to work. Everyone argued who he looked like. It was evenly divided with half saying Mikey looked like me and the other half saying he looked more like Lydia. We didn‘t care who he looked like he was our pride and joy.

Lydia wanted to spend more time with Mikey and me so she started working part time. It was fine with me because I wanted her to be home too. Life was good. We argued like every married couple does. We didn‘t have a girl‘s or boy‘s night out.

We preferred to go out as a family or we did visit our families a lot. As I mentioned, Lydia had two brothers and a sister. My mom was living and was remarried. Dad passed away when I was around five. I had one sister a couple of years younger who was also married and had one daughter.

We never had a problem getting a babysitter. We had lots of volunteers. I guess that‘s another reason I thought it was odd that Lydia had Mikey with her that awful night. Someone would have surely watched him. What I was hearing was that she never mentioned to anyone that she was going out.

On Monday I called my boss who was already aware of the death of my family members. I told him I needed a couple of weeks off to get everything in order. Of course he was sympathetic to me and told me to take all the time I needed. The first five days would count as family funeral leave, and then I could use whatever vacation time I needed. If I needed more time, I just needed to give him a call.

Most of the next couple of days would be spent at the funeral home. It couldn‘t have been much worse. On Tuesday, when I saw the lifeless body of my son lying there; I cried and I cried. No parent should have to bury their kids! It‘s just not right. Of course all the family and friends were asking questions about Lydia and Derek. What could I say?

I didn‘t know anything. Eventually they got the hint and didn‘t mention it to me anymore. I knew behind my back that there was a lot of gossiping going on.

After Mikey‘s funeral, which was first thing in the morning, I found myself going to another funeral home, where another funeral was going to be taking place. I was standing in the back of the parlor, still in my black suit and just watched the people. I didn‘t know anyone but I wanted to hear the gossiping.

Here is some of the comments I heard.

"Who was that woman he was with?" "Was he having another affair?" "Poor, Connie, now has two small children to raise on her own."

I figured this is the kind of talk that was going on at Mikey‘s funeral and would be the same shit tomorrow at Lydia‘s.

"This wasn‘t his first time, you know. Connie caught him before."

"Connie said he was looking at property. That‘s a likely story."

"Connie sure looks good, even in black. Wonder if she played around like old Derek."

"Damn, if I had a woman like Connie waiting at home for me, I sure wouldn't be looking for any strange."

"Did you hear that there was a kid in the car too?"

I had heard enough. I was getting ready to leave when Connie spotted me. She quickly came back to see me. I should have gone up front but didn‘t want all these people wondering who I was.

"Jerry, why are you here?" She hugged me.

"I don‘t know; I just buried my son and found myself driving here."

"I'm so sorry, Jerry. Nothing could be worse than burying your child. There are my two kids up front waiting for the service to start. Jerry, please call me Thursday; we must talk. I know you‘re hearing the rumors. Please come by. Just call me first," as she handed me a card with her address and phone number on it.

The service was about to start so I made a quick exit. I stopped by my sister‘s where there was a kind of wake going on for Mikey. All it amounted to is that we were feeding a lot of people before they went home. There was very little conversation going on about my son. In most of these peoples#' mind he would be forgotten in the next couple of days. He would live in my heart forever.

After eating, I headed back for the evening hours for Lydia. The pain and the heartbreak all over again. It was more of the same. The whispers, the people who stopped talking when I walked by. I almost wish someone would run up to me and say, "Your wife was having an affair with Derek. Here‘s the proof." I knew that wasn‘t going to happen. I don‘t even know if there was an affair.

I sat through a horrible three hours at the funeral home and knew I had to do it again in the morning. I would be glad when this was over. I kept looking at a beautiful Lydia lying there. She looked so peaceful, I was waiting for her to just wake up.

"Why, Lydia Why? What did you do? Why did you do it?" I cried. I just couldn't help it.

Wednesday was more of the same. I was glad when the funeral was over. Lydia‘s mom had the wake at her house this time. As I was eating, I realized I wouldn‘t be spending much time with this family anymore. What would be the point? Their daughter and grandson were both dead now. All I would be was bad memories. I think we all knew it but nobody mentioned it.

I left after eating and went back to my house. We bought it when it came on the market. It was a small house that needed a lot of fixing up. It had a nice back yard that we fenced in for Mikey. I looked out the back door and saw his swing set. I couldn‘t count the times he asked me to push him on his swing. I knew I now had the horrible job of sorting through all the clothes and things. I decided to call Lydia‘s sister and sister-in-laws and let them have any of Lydia‘s clothes and personal items.

They said they would be over that evening. They came and rummaged through Lydia‘s closets and drawers. I had already gone through them looking for anything that would help my hunt for information. I let Lydia‘s sister have the wedding ring to pass on to her daughter. I didn‘t have any use for it.

When the women were done rummaging through everything, they hugged and kissed me goodbye. I let them take any of little Mikey‘s clothes also. When they were finished, I took the rest of the clothes and put them in garbage bags. I would drop them off at the Salvation Army tomorrow.

About nine o'clock that night the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hello, Jerry, Connie again. I didn‘t want to bother you but I needed to tell you I was there today."

"Connie, it isn‘t a bother to talk to you. In fact, you‘re the only person who understands what‘s going on. Where were you today? At the funeral - Lydia‘s funeral?"

"Yes, Jerry, I stood in the back and listened to the horrible talk. It looks like everyone has their minds made up , don‘t they?"

"Connie, don‘t worry what others think. They want the worst because it makes for better gossip. Why didn‘t you come up front? No one would have known who you were."

"I did go up and look at her, Jerry. She was a beautiful woman. She was also the woman who sold us our house four years ago."

"I didn‘t see you come up to the casket."

"I waited until you left the room. Then I went up and said a prayer for you. I left a minute or two later."

"Connie, you think they had an affair, don‘t you?"

"I don‘t know, Jerry. They might have, but I have absolutely no proof right now. Will I see you tomorrow?#"

"Yes, I‘ll call you after I go by the police station. They have the accident report ready. They left a message on the answering machine. So, I‘ll see you tomorrow after I get the report, Connie."

"Goodnight, Jerry." She hung up the phone.

Chapter 2

I slept on the couch another night. I know I would have to sleep in the bed eventually. First, I needed to get Lydia‘s personal things out of the room which I had done. I would wash the sheets and blankets also. This might not seem right but I needed to get the smell of Lydia out of the room. I loved her very much, but now she was gone and I had to go on with my life. I even changed the room around so it would look different when I walked into it.

I got dressed and headed to the police station. I kept a small notepad in my vest pocket to jot down any information or leads. I was going to do nothing for the next week but track down leads and try to get some answers.

At the police station - it was actually the sheriff‘s office - I talked to the investigating deputy. I asked him to explain everything to me, not to worry about what I might think.

"Deputy Burke, I need answers. My wife was killed along with my son. I know a man named Derek Cain was also killed. I didn‘t know this man. Maybe there was an affair or maybe there wasn‘t. All I‘m looking for is the truth. Nothing can be changed now. Mrs. Cain and I are both looking for closure."

"Well, Mr. Johnson, when I arrived we found the car overturned into the gully down over the hillside. Our best guess is that your wife was driving and was going at an excessive rate of speed and missed the curve. There were brake marks at the curve which tell us this was not intentional." The deputy looked at me. "It ruled out suicide."

"Were they fully clothed sir, or did it look like they might have been doing anything intimate at the time." I asked.

"No, they were both fully clothed. No sign whatsoever of any intimate activity. They were killed when the vehicle rolled over at least twice coming to rest on its top. There is no other information that I can give you at the present time."

"Thank you, officer."

"Mr. Johnson, I have a couple of questions for you. Do you have any idea where they were headed? We figure they were coming from town. We were wondering where they met up. Mrs. Cain said her husband‘s car was still parked at his office. We thought Mrs. Johnson might have gone there to pick him up."

"It‘s very likely that she picked him up there. My wife sells - or should I say sold - real estate. They might have been looking at properties. I wish I knew. If I find out anything at all, I'll let you know. Please keep me informed if you find out anything also."

"One more thing, Mr. Johnson, your insurance company asked for the vehicle so they could inspect it. We will need your consent to turn it over to them."

"I want to look through it first if I may. I'm going to the insurance office later and I‘ll take a release form with me."

"That‘s fine with me. If we find out anything at all, we'll contact you," the officer said.

After leaving the Sheriff's Department I called Connie.

"Hello."

"Connie, it's Jerry. I've got a little information from the police department. I'm headed over to talk to the insurance company now."

"Jerry, can I meet you at the insurance company?"

"What for?"

"They called me and asked to see me. I guess they want to settle with me. Depending on your wife‘s policy, they have medical and bodily injury coverage to pay for. I really don‘t want to face them alone."

"Connie, you're are going to sue me and you want me to be there while you‘re doing it?

"Jerry, Derek was in the insurance business. I will explain it to you later but, yes, in a sense I will be suing you. I‘m not taking anything from you, Jerry, believe me. What I get in insurance, I‘m putting away for my kids. They come first in my life. You need to understand that. I promise I won‘t take anything from you. Just the insurance settlement."

"Okay, Connie, I trust you for some reason. Don‘t go using me. I want us to help each other, not be at odds."

"Believe me, Jerry, you are one person that I would never want to hurt. You are an innocent bystander in this whole mess. I'll meet you at the insurance office in about an hour. I'll need to take my kids to my mother's.

I was in the insurance company's parking lot waiting for Connie. I‘m not up much on this insurance stuff so I hope she was being honest with me. All I had left was my home and personal belongings. I did have six years in my retirement but I knew no one could touch it. I also had about ten grand in a savings program the company offered. It wasn't losing that little bit of material items that would bother me. It was losing the only person whom I could share experiences with right now.

Connie pulled up in her van. She came over to my car and got in.

"Jerry, I need to explain this insurance stuff to you. I want you to know I will not take anything from you. I need you to know that. Is that why you're staring at me? I feel somewhat uncomfortable."

"I'm sorry, Connie. I'm really sorry for staring at you. This was the first time I saw you other than in distress. You are a beautiful lady. God, I‘m so sorry for staring at you. I have no right to look at you like that."

"Jerry, it‘s okay. I thought you might think I was trying to use you and it bothered me that you would think that of me. Thank you for the compliment though."

"Connie, I buried my wife of five years yesterday and I find myself looking at you. It isn‘t right, not after one day."

"Quit beating yourself up for being human. Maybe we should change the subject back to insurance. I will only sue for the value of your insurance. I don‘t expect a million dollar suit here. We‘ll have to see what amount of coverage your wife had."

We walked into the insurance office together.

"Jerry Johnson and Connie Cain, we‘re here to see Mr. Bower."

The receptionist looked up and gave us a business type smile and called Todd Bower. He was our agent for the insurance company. He came out and greeted us but was surprised to see us together.

"I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife and son, Jerry. I know this has to be a traumatic time for you." He looked over at Connie. "I‘m also sorry for the loss of your husband, Mrs. Cain. This is trying times for all of us."

"Todd, we both lost loved ones. Your company will lose some money. Hardly comparable losses. I know you mean well and thank you for your condolences but we want to get all this insurance stuff out of the way. It isn‘t the most pleasant of circumstances."

"I agree, Jerry. The claims adjusters are in my office. Who wants to go first?"

"If it's all the same to you, Mr. Bower, we‘ll come in together. You see, we are here to support each other in our losses. Also, my husband, Derek, was an insurance agent and I understand policies and might be able to support Jerry in that respect," Connie said.

I know that Todd was taken aback. He did say that we could come in together, even though it wasn't his preference in doing so.

The adjuster looked at both Connie and I and said, #"I'm sorry, but this is not good business practice for both of you to be here together. I‘m afraid that one of you will have to leave the office."

"Mr. Who-ever-you-are, I lost my wife and son, This lady lost her husband. I don‘t give a damn about your damn business practices. We can either settle this insurance claim right now or we will pack up our papers and see you in court together. The choice is yours."

"Okay Mr. Johnson, I didn‘t mean to be so abrupt at a time like this. I do apologize. If the two of you will please sit down, we will get these claims taken care of."

Without going through a lot of insurance babble, Connie actually told the insurance company what we expected. My policy paid one hundred thousand bodily injury, per person per accident. That‘s what Connie asked for. Needless to say with her insurance expertise, she received it.

The adjuster told me that I would receive the pay off on the car which was eight thousand dollars, also five thousand medical on my wife and the same for my son. I had no other claim. Connie showed him an accidental death clause in my policy which entitled me to an additional ten thousand dollars for each loss unless they could prove it wasn‘t an accident.

The claims adjuster wasn't real happy but knew that Connie was right. The only comeback he had was that the accidental death wouldn‘t be paid until they had a chance to look over the vehicle for anything that may have contributed to the accident.

After the meeting I talked with Todd. "Todd, thank you for meeting with us. Please call me if you find out any information. You can call me when the investigation is complete."

Since he was my agent and not the claims adjuster, he treated us with more respect, and said he would get back with us as soon as the claims were finished.

"Connie, thank you. I had no idea I had money coming. I thought they would just pay for the car and then cancel my insurance. I need some way to thank you. Have you eaten lunch yet?"

"No, I haven‘t eaten much in the last few days. I think my appetite is starting to come back. Do you think it‘s a wise move having lunch with me?"

"Connie, we did nothing wrong. We both had family killed in an accident. Right now you are the only person I know that understands my situation. Besides, as much as I don‘t want to do it, we have to start comparing notes. We need whatever closure we can find. Now, how about that lunch?"

"I'd love to have lunch. I have a few things to tell you also. Let me call my mother so she doesn‘t worry too much. I might be thirty-two but I‘m still my mother‘s little girl."

When we were about finished eating, Connie looked at me. She was a beautiful woman but I could see hurt in her eyes. I knew she had something she needed to tell me.

"Jerry, I have to tell you about me and Derek. We met in college. We started dating and before we knew it we became lovers and then husband and wife. Two years later we started our family. As you know I have a son and a daughter, who are ages seven and five. I have pretty much been a stay-at-home mom. I have a degree in business management and do billing for The Doctor's Clinic. I can have my kids and see them too.

"Derek is, or was a business executive at Copco Insurance. He started out as an agent and eventually became part of management." Connie stopped talking for a moment. I knew she was choked up.

"What I need to tell you is that I know that Derek had a number of affairs. I caught him more than once. I will tell you that his affairs were not long-lasting. After the last one, about two years ago, I told him if I ever caught him being unfaithful again that I would take the kids and divorce him. He seemed to straighten up after that."

"So, did he have an affair with Lydia? I don‘t know, Jerry. I wish I knew for sure. I have found nothing that linked them together. We did buy the house off Lydia four years ago. I guess they could have been together, but I can‘t prove it. I wish I could tell you more, but I can‘t." She was crying. I reached across the table and held her hands tightly in my own.

"Connie, you must have figured out as I have that my son Mikey was born approximately nine months after you bought your house. I remember Lydia coming home saying she had her biggest sale to date. We went out and celebrated and of course made love a number of times. Now, I have to wonder if Mikey was my son. In my heart he will always be mine, but you have to understand I have to do a DNA to know for sure if he was my biological son. I can‘t accuse Lydia without proof. Lydia has never done anything to make me distrust her." I had tears in my eyes now. We both stood up and Connie hugged me as a friend.

"Connie, is it alright to keep in contact with you? Tomorrow, I‘m going over to the real estate office and gather up Lydia‘s personal belongings. Maybe I will find something. A date, a memo, a letter, something tangible."

"Jerry, call me anytime. I‘m going to Derek‘s office tomorrow to gather up his stuff and to talk to his bosses about his benefits. I‘m not being cold here. I really cared for Derek, but know I'm a widow with two small children to support.

The next day I stopped by Lydia‘s office and gathered up her things. She had a picture of me and Mikey on her desk. All her friends kept crying and it just made it worse for me. Everyone said the same thing.

"Call me if you need anything. Let me know if there is anything I can do."

I did ask her friends if they knew Derek. It was a hard question but I had to ask.. No one said that they ever knew him. I didn‘t know if they were telling the truth or just protecting Lydia#‘s memory.

I stopped by a DNA clinic on the way home. I was tested and I gave them little Mikey‘s hair brush and toothbrush. I can‘t tell you how hard that was to do. The clinic doctor told me it would be at least three weeks before he had the results. He mentioned that his clinic wasn‘t a television show where they could get the results in an hour. He took down my information and told me to call him if I didn‘t hear from him by the end of the month.

I went home and scoured through Lydia‘s papers. I took down a few numbers that showed up a number of times on her phone records or on her daily log. In her appointment book on the Friday of the accident she had the initial D on the page and a time of 7:00pm written in. I figure that meant Derek at seven. Was it an appointment or an affair? I looked back through her appointment book some more and found a month and a half earlier on a Friday, the exact same information. D at six, what did it mean?

I called Connie that evening and told her I went and got tested. I also told her about Lydia‘s appointment book. She said she hadn‘t had time to go through Derek‘s stuff yet. She had to sign a lot insurance forms and had to go to the Social Security office and start her claim for her kids. I asked her if I could see her but she said family members were coming over this weekend and it probably wouldn‘t be a good idea. I told her I would call her next week or she could call me after looking through Derek‘s appointment books. We said our goodbyes and I continued looking for clues as to what happened.

Chapter 3

A few days had passed and I wasn‘t any farther ahead in drawing any conclusions. I got a listing of all real estate that was for sale within a twenty mile radius of the accident. My God, so many places for sale. I remember Connie had said that Derek had mentioned possibly buying a cottage, so I started there. It narrowed the list considerably.

I jumped in my pickup and started driving by these cottages. I had a picture of Lydia with me to see if she was trying to sell any of the properties. The funny thing I learned about selling real estate was that an agent could sell any listing of properties. Not just the ones with their agency, but from all agencies. The commission was just split between the two agencies.

I must have looked at about twelve properties. I headed for the next one which was a cottage called Valley View, where an older gentleman said he remember Lydia asking to show the property to a client. He said he thought it was a couple of months before. He mentioned to me that he told the young lady that he wouldn‘t be there and he gave her the key to the property. He showed me around. It was a small three room cottage, and was fully furnished.

I couldn‘t help staring at the bed in the bedroom. The gentleman saw me looking and said he had clean linen in the drawer for the people who stayed. He still rented it out at a daily rate if anyone was interested. He did mention she had seen him again the week before and asked to show it again. He put the key in the mailbox for her but didn‘t think she showed up. I told him it was my wife and it was her that was killed that weekend. She was probably going to show the property again. He gave me his condolences and I was on my way.

Finally, I figured that Lydia was going to show the property to Derek. At least I knew that part was hopefully for business. On Thursday, I received a call from Connie.

"Jerry, I‘m so sorry that I didn‘t get back to you sooner. I've had a lot on my mind lately and a lot of company still coming around, paying their respects."

I thought for a moment. No one has come to see me since the two funerals. I received a few phone calls but no one stopped by. My mom and step-father lived in another state and went back home. I talked to them a few times over the phone. No one from Lydia‘s family has been by since I gave them the clothes.

"I understand, Connie. I don‘t expect you to drop everything just for me. I did find out some more stuff today. Is there any chance we can get together tonight or tomorrow?"

"Tonight would be great, Jerry. I'll drop my kids off at my mom‘s place and come over to your place if you don't mind."

"Okay, I‘ll see you around six. I‘ll order in some Chinese if you like."

"Yes, I love Chinese food, Jerry; I‘ll see you at six."

After hanging up the phone I started cleaning up the place. I was running around doing dishes and even moping the floor. You would have thought I had a special friend coming over and needed to impress her. What was I thinking? I was doing exactly that. I guess I wanted Connie‘s approval.

Connie showed up right on time. She was dressed in a nice blouse and black skirt. She really looked nice. She saw me staring at her when I greeted her.

"Oh, sorry, I just came from another appointment. That‘s why I dressed like this."

"Shoot, I thought you might have dressed like that for me," I smiled.

She looked into my eyes. She could see through me, not even Lydia was able to do that. I was hurting, and I was alone. A very vulnerable situation.

"Jerry, before we talk about what we have found, I need to confide in you and tell you something personal."

"I'm here for you, Connie. You can confide in me. I promise it will never go any further."

"Derek and I were having big time marital problems. I know I told you that he had affairs. I thought he might be having one now but I don‘t know who with. We were headed for divorce and he knew it. He might have been looking for a place to buy that would still be in the area. I don‘t know.

"Mainly, what I want to tell you is that I fell out of love with Derek almost two years ago when I caught him in the affair with his secretary. I could never trust him after that. You need to know that I have never cheated on him, even though I had the opportunities. Hell, every woman has those opportunities."

"Why are you telling me this, Connie? I‘m nearly a stranger to you. Why me, Connie?"

"I‘m vulnerable, just like you. I lost my mate and am now widowed, just like you. I hurt inside and want to be wanted, to be loved, just like I see in your eyes. I know it‘s too soon since the death of our spouses. I know that, but I also want you to know that I will be available whenever you are ready.

"It might be the loneliness talking, but I trust you, Jerry. I know you heard the talk at the funeral home. I don‘t want men like them. I want a man that can be true to me, the way you were with Lydia. I can tell by the kind of person you are that you were always faithful to her, just like I was to Derek."

"I don‘t know what to say. Right now I feel like you‘re my only friend. I would like to see you often. We can just take it one day at a time."

Wow, she was something, and she spoke her mind. Thank God, the doorbell rang as our dinner arrived. We sat at the kitchen table and opened the boxes of food. Connie grabbed the chop sticks and started eating. I went to the drawer and got a fork. She laughed and asked for one also. We seemed to just click.

After we ate I told her about the man at the cottage. She handed me Derek‘s appointment book and on that fatal Friday, he had LVV 7:00 PM. I quickly turned back in his book and looked for the Friday the man spoke of. There it was, big bold letters, LVV, 6:00PM.

"What‘s LVV, Jerry?"

"Lydia, Valley View. They were going there."

"So, Derek was looking to buy a cottage?"

"Maybe, maybe not, they were going to this furnished cottage. Hopefully to check it out. Why didn‘t Lydia tell me? She, always tells me about possible sales. Why didn‘t Derek tell you? You‘re his wife. Wouldn‘t a man tell his wife if he was going to buy property?"

"At least we know where they were headed and that they were there once before," Connie said.

"Yeah, almost two months ago and no one seemed to know about it. Weird huh?" I replied.

We kept comparing notes. There weren‘t any connections in the past that popped up. Connie showed me some strange phone numbers. She told me she thought some of them were one night stands. She couldn‘t get the phone records from his office since it was a business, so all she had was his cell phone record. I went through Lydia‘s cell phone but I hadn‘t received the last month's bill yet. Connie said it was the same with Derek‘s. We would have to double check in a couple of weeks when their final cell bills came in.

I walked Connie to the door. We stared at each other for a minute. She was so pretty. She was about three years older than me but that meant nothing. I wanted to hold her, hug her and kiss her. Would it be so wrong to want someone?

She was about to open the door when I said, #"Connie."

"Yes, Jerry?"

"Can I kiss you one time? If you say no I‘ll understand."

She came to me and we kissed. Lightly wet, slightly opened mouth and very sensual. As we were kissing I pulled her to me and held her close. The kiss seem like it went on for minutes but was only a few seconds. As we parted slowly, she had a tear in her eye as did I.

"Thank you, Jerry. I really needed that."

"So did I Connie; so did I." She opened the door and left.

The following week I started back to work. It was actually a good thing. I was able to do something besides thinking about Lydia and now Connie. I talked to Connie at least every couple of days. We didn‘t see each other because we both knew we would move too fast. We became close phone friends.

She would tell me about her kids and about her parents. She didn‘t hear much from Derek‘s parents. She did take the kids over periodically so they could see each other. She told me that a lot of Derek‘s parents' warmth toward her kids had cooled down. Apparently Derek had told them about a possible upcoming divorce.

When I got home from work one evening I was going through the bills and came across an unpaid hospital bill. It was for the removal of a fetus. What? A fetus, was Lydia pregnant? I couldn‘t sleep that night. The first thing in the morning I headed to the hospital to have this bill checked out.

A doctor came up to me and said it was for a removal of a fetus when my wife was brought in. They told me she probably didn‘t even know she was pregnant. She was comatose when she was brought in. The fetus died in the crash and had to be removed to try and save Lydia's life. It was about a month or two old.

The billing department told me that the bill would be paid by my insurance. It was just that after one month they send us a copy. They did tell me that I received a copy of the bill when Lydia‘s body was released. I told them that was a trying time and I probably didn‘t see it.

That reminded me to go back to the DNA clinic to see about my tests. I headed over to pick them up. On the way to the clinic I thought about the unborn baby. Again the time frame sucked. That would have been around the same time she showed Derek# the cottage. Dammit, that one I would never know about.

When I got to the clinic I had to wait. It seemed like hours but was only about a half hour. The doctor called me into his office.

"Here are your DNA results, Mr. Johnson, and here is your son‘s."

I didn‘t pick up on the word son's.

"He was your son, Mr. Johnson."

I started to cry. I couldn‘t help it. It was now official - little Mikey was my son. The doctor came around and patted me on the shoulder. "I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson, but at least it gives you closure."

I thanked the doctor and left his office with my tests. I called Connie on my cell phone.

"Hello."

"Connie, I need to see you."

"What is it, Jerry? You really sound stressed out."

"I got my DNA test results."

"And?" asked Connie.

"Mikey was my son - my son, Connie. The little boy that died was my Mikey." I was crying again.

"I'm so happy for you, Jerry. I know you needed that closure and you wanted Mikey to be your son," said Connie.

"I want to know if you would feel comfortable having dinner with me tonight. I kind of want to celebrate the news. Maybe celebrate isn‘t the right word but I wanted to share it with someone, and that someone is you."

"Okay, Jerry, let me call mom and let her know I‘m having dinner out. I finally told her about you. She was a bit surprised but I think she‘s alright with it. Would you mind meeting her when we drop off the kids?"

"You mean I get to meet the kids too?"

"They know I talk to you all the time and want to know what you look like."

"I‘ll be there in about an hour. I have to go home and dress up a little. I‘m meeting some special people and want to look my best."

"Jerry, just be yourself. I know they‘ll like you as much as I do."

I showed up at the door and a young lad answered it. "Are you Jerry? I‘m sorry - are you Mr. Jerry? My name is Dillon."

"As a matter of fact, I am." I held out my hand. The young lad shook it.

"I‘m very glad to meet you, Dillon. Your mom told me you were a big boy for your age. I bet you‘d make a great ballplayer."

"Yeah, I love playing baseball. I'm a pitcher in Little League. Do you want to come to my game?"

"I‘d like that very much, Dillon. I‘ll do my best to be there. Who‘s your little friend behind you?"

"Oh, that‘s just my little sister, Darla. She‘s only five. She follows me everywhere. I#‘m her big brother, you know."

"She‘s lucky to have a brother like you to look after her. Hi, sweetheart, I‘m, let‘s see, you can call me Uncle Jerry, if you like. You sure are a pretty little girl."

Darla looked at me. "You got kids, Uncle Jerry?"

"Well, Darla, I had a son but he died in a car accident."

"So did my daddy; we miss him."

"I‘m sorry to hear that, honey. Just remember him in your heart. I do that with my son. I remember the good times in my heart."

"What was his name?"

"Mikey - his name was Mikey."

Connie came to the door. "Dillon, why didn‘t you tell me Jerry was here?"

"We were talking, mom. Uncle Jerry‘s going to come to my games. Aren‘t you, Uncle Jerry?"

"Yes, as long as I‘m not working."

"That‘s what dad always said, but he always worked."

"When are your games, Dillon?"

"Saturday. We always have our games on Saturday."

"I promise I‘ll be there, Dillon, and I don‘t break promises."

"Thanks, Uncle Jerry," said Dillon with a big smile on his face.

Connie was smiling. Looks like I passed the first test. Now I have to meet Mrs. George, Connie‘s mother.

On the way to Connie‘s mom‘s, Dillon asked me questions.

"Uncle Jerry, are you really our uncle?"

"No, Dillon, it‘s just easier for you instead of calling me Mr. Johnson all the time."

"Do you like my mom? She told me and Darla that she likes you."

"Yes, I like your mother very much. She‘s a very nice lady."

"Yeah, and she‘s pretty too, isn‘t she, Uncle Jerry?

"Your mom is beautiful, Dillon. You and Darla are lucky to have such a nice and beautiful mother."

"Do you want to marry my mom, Uncle Jerry?"

Connie looked surprised, "I think you asked Jerry enough questions for now, Dillon. Sit back and talk to your sister till we get to Grandma‘s." She looked over at me and started laughing.

We got to her mom‘s and she introduced me. Her mom gave me a smile and thanked me for helping Connie through such a hard time. I told her it was a very hard time for all of us and it was nice that we could support each other.

Connie and I headed out for dinner. I told her again about Mikey being my son and then I told her about the miscarriage. She was shocked, especially when I told her the baby was conceived around two months ago. I told her it hopefully was just a coincidence.

On the way back to her mother‘s house, I parked in kind of a lovers lane. We talked some more and then I kissed her. We kissed again and again. We were like two teenagers out on a date. We stopped before things went too far. We knew we were going to be together one day, just not tonight. I took her back and we picked up the kids and I took them all home. I promised Dillon that I‘d be at his game on Saturday.

I did make it to his game and Connie and I sat together with a lot of people watching us. Darla sat on my lap for most of the game. Afterwards we all went to Wendy‘s for a frosty on the way home.

It became a regular thing. Every Saturday I would go see Dillon play ball and hold Darla on my lap. Feelings between Connie and I were getting stronger and stronger. We started taking the kids with us when we went out to eat. We knew the next time we were alone that we would become intimate. It was something we could just feel happening between us.

It was the following week when a bombshell hit me. I got a call from Lydia‘s doctor.

"Mr. Johnson, could you please come to our office today? It‘s extremely important," the doctors nurse asked.

"What's this about? Lydia‘s dead."

"We would prefer to show you in person. We just came across it."

"I‘ll be there in a few minutes."

As I went into the doctors office I asked, "What the hell was going on? Did Lydia forget to pay a bill or something?"

The doctor asked me to follow him into his private office.

"Mr. Johnson, I want to give you my personal condolences in the loss of Lydia and Mikey. I don‘t know if you knew that the day Lydia was killed she was in here for a checkup. She was pregnant, about two months along."

"Yes, I found out from the hospital when she miscarried during the accident. The doctors weren't sure if she even knew," I replied.

"While Lydia was waiting for me to verify the results, she wrote you a letter. I think she meant to give it to you but for some reason, when she left she forgot her receipts and the letter she wrote. We just put it into her file till she would come back. Of course no one read it till this morning."

"Lydia left me a letter?"

"I‘m sure she meant to take it with her but forgot it. Our file clerk was going through our files and was getting ready to put Lydia‘s file in the deceased file folder. Of course we double checked our files first and came across this letter. It‘s addressed to you. I started to read it to verify it but stopped when it got personal. Here it is, Jerry. I'm very sorry for your losses. I‘ll leave you alone for a few minutes while you read it."

I read the letter. When I was finished, I was overcome with emotion and started crying. I was there in the office a good fifteen minutes. When I composed myself, I went out and thanked the doctor and the file clerk. I went and sat in my car and read the letter again and then headed down the road.

I called Connie while on my way home.

"Connie, I must see you now. It‘s important, very important."

"What is it, Jerry?"

"Lydia left me a letter. It was in her file at her doctor's office. I think it answers a lot of questions."

"Come on over, Jerry. I‘ll take the kids over to mom's house. I should be back in twenty minutes."

Connie invited me in. I sat there with the letter in my hand. I handed it over to Connie to read.

-----------------

Hi, Honey: I was sitting here in the doctors office waiting while they double checked my test. I thought seeing it would take a few minutes that I would write you a little letter to help pass the time. Guess what? Mikey is going to have a brother or a sister. I wasn‘t feeling too good so I made a doctor's appointment for today. You went into work early so I didn‘t get a chance to tell you about the appointment. I hope you're happy about it. Eventually, I‘ll find out if it‘s a girl or a boy.

I was thinking about when he was conceived. I think it was when you took me out for our anniversary two months ago. When we got home we made love, over and over. Remember? The last time I wore you out like that was when Mikey was conceived.

The doctor went back to double check my tests but he‘s pretty sure I‘m a preggy. It sounds funny saying that. Lydia‘s a preggy. I haven‘t told anyone yet. I wanted you to be the first to know. I even have Mikey here with me. I didn‘t get a sitter because I didn‘t want anyone to know before you. Are you out of shock yet?

I have an appointment tonight to sell a house so I know I‘ll get home a little late. I‘ll be dropping off my papers and the checkbook before I go. I sold this guy a house once before and he seemed pretty decent. I had an appointment with him a month or so ago and he came on to me. I put him in his place and told him I was happily married.

I think he is getting a divorce, but anyway I‘m taking Mikey along as kind of a security. Wow, my three year old for protection. Really, though, the guy isn‘t that bad but I want to keep it business. I will probably beat you home and will be sleeping. If you balance our check book tonight like you promised me, then you will see this letter. Otherwise I‘ll tell you in the morning.

Jerry, I love you and hope you‘re happy about the baby. Gotta go, the doctor is back with my tests. I see him smiling - Lydia‘s a preggy. Love ya bunches Lydia<i/> -----------------

Connie was crying. We finally got closure. To the best of our knowledge nothing happened between Lydia and Derek. She was out to sell the cottage and was speeding and missed the turn. We figure that she thought I was Derek in the hospital and was about to apologize for the accident.

I had no reason to believe otherwise. My Lydia was faithful to me. I held Connie close and just hugged her. We decided to make a few copies of Lydia‘s letter and give them to our parents and Derek‘s parents. They could stop the rumor mill. We no longer had to deal with it. There was a new rumor going around now. Dillon has been telling people that his mom and I would probably be getting married and I would become his and Darla's new dad. I guess time will tell.

In the days to follow, we got the cell phone bills. It only showed four calls to Lydia. One was before the days they were together and one the day of.

It‘s been six months since this all took place. No more information emerged about Lydia and Derek together. Connie did check out a few more of her numbers and found Derek‘s latest girlfriend. It wasn‘t Lydia.

We received our insurance checks and they did state that there was no foul play as far as the vehicles went. Everything was pretty much settled when I received a call from Connie.

"Jerry, can you come over right now? I have something to share with you."

"Ill be right there," I said. What could she possibly want to share with me? The case of Lydia and Derek was pretty much solved.

I was at her door in ten minutes. She opened the door and pulled me in. She didn‘t say a word but gave me one of those very sensuous kisses. We must have kissed over and over again.

"Jerry, are you ready to make love to me?"

"Yes, Connie, I am."

We went to the bedroom and made love. Not a fuck, not a quickie, but sensuous love. We hugged and kissed and made love for a good hour. After that day, we were a couple and let everyone know it. We knew the wedding date wouldn‘t be that far away.

Life can be rough. There may be a lot of bumps along the road. No one has ever said life is easy. But, as a friend once told me, "Every storm ends and you may see the rainbow."

Thank You for reading my story Comments welcome DG Hear.